Guy Asks If It's Wrong To Buy A Fridge And Ban Roommate And Messy Girlfriend From Using It

The United States and many other parts of the world are experiencing a housing crisis. Often the issue is caused by a lack of affordable housing, not a lack of habitable structures.

Abandoned homes sit empty and long-term rentals have been converted to short-term only for companies like Airbnb.

Once people secure housing they can afford, they are essentially trapped. This can lead to living in less than ideal situations.

A renter stuck in a bad arrangement turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback.

Frxye_ asked:

"WIBTA for buying a fridge and refusing to let my roommate and his girlfriend use it, even though they'd have no other way to keep their food fresh?"

The original poster (OP) explained:

"I (26, male) live with my roommate (33, male), who is also my coworker. We initially moved in together to share the cost of rent and groceries, and we were planning to buy a fridge together."

"However, since his girlfriend (28, female) moved in about five months later, the dynamic has changed significantly, and that discussion was forgotten. Now, we each buy our own groceries and kitchen supplies, including separate toiletries and even toilet paper."

"It feels like I'm a third wheel in my own home, and I no longer have the convenience of sharing space with my roommate. I was hoping to create a communal living environment, but instead, it has turned into separate lives."

"Currently, I don't have a fridge, and I'm considering buying one, especially since holiday sales are coming up. However, my roommate is unwilling to contribute to the cost, and I'm worried about sharing it with them since they seem to want everything separate now."

"When we both get home from work, his girlfriend is usually in the kitchen cooking, and I have to wait an hour or two to use the space. I've suggested she cook earlier so that I can have time in the kitchen too, but my roommate prefers not to eat cold food."

"This situation has led to me frequently getting takeout, which is wasteful and affects my groceries since my fresh food often goes bad."

"The bathroom situation is also frustrating. I handle cleaning it properly, using detergent and bleach, while they only mop with water."

"If the cleaning supplies run out, I end up replacing them, even if it means living with a dirty bathroom until I can afford more."

"This makes me concerned about how they would clean a fridge if I were to share one with them, especially since their version of cleaning the kitchen is just doing the dishes and putting them away."

"I've attempted to discuss house rules and boundaries with my roommate, but he believes we should just mind our own business as long as the rent is paid. I don't feel comfortable addressing his girlfriend directly, as I've noticed my roommate tends to side with her in conflicts."

"This has made it awkward for me to try to assert my needs."

"My coworkers have said I would be the a**hole if I bought a fridge and didn't share it with them, which adds to my confusion about what the right thing to do is. Considering all of this, I'm contemplating buying my own fridge."

"AITA for wanting to do that and not share it with them, given that they seem to want everything separate?"

The OP later added:

"The apartment was unfurnished and did not come with appliances. So my landlord agreed to reduce the rent and also covers utilities."

"Only thing we pay is rent which is split two ways, and repair and maintenance for any minor damages or upkeep. Girlfriend is not on the lease."

"It's been 15 months since I moved in. She's been living with us for about ten months now."

"She was initially supposed to stay for a week, which I was fine with. When it got to the point where she overstayed her welcome, he started to insist we do things separately."

"She's unemployed and stays in the house while we go to work. She does not pay rent."

"Trust me, I'm looking for another place, but currently, it's out of my budget to rent by myself in the long term. With the options I have, I'd either have to pay more in rent or pay the same plus utilities, which I can maybe afford but only for a few months."

The OP summed up their situation.

"Here's where I might be the a**hole: By not letting my roommate and his girlfriend use the fridge, I'd be making things harder for them on a basic, everyday level."

"Even though they wanted to keep everything separate, a fridge is still an essential household item that would not make sense for only one person to use."

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA - You're The A**hole
• NAH - No A**holes Here
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).

"If she is not paying to live there, she doesn't get kitchen privileges. Get the fridge and put it in your room. But move out ASAP. Let them handle all the bills. NTA." ~ Shadow4summer

"NTA but you are being a doormat. They are walking all over you. Stop being so nice."

"Do not buy a fridge for the main living area. Buy a mini fridge for just your room, if you must. Keep your door locked at all times."

"You need to look for a new place. Living with them will never get better. As it is, you are subsidizing her living costs."

"The rent should be split 3 ways or she should move out. The fact that she isn't even cooking for both of you or doing chores correctly for all makes it worse."

"Is it even ok on your rental agreement to have a 3rd person living there? You should move out ASAP. If not, only a small fridge for you only."

"And stop letting her make the rules on your place. When you get home, start cooking in your kitchen." ~ Trick_Delivery4609

"The fact the girlfriend can't accommodate you cooking at that time on alternative nights is unreasonable. Anything you do, it's going to be 2 against 1. It's not going to change all the while he's happy with her."

"I'd buy a mini fridge and have it in my room so there's only room for my stuff. And I'd be looking to move out."

"If your roommate can't afford rent on his own, that might be the only thing that will make him listen. NTA." ~ LingonberryNo2455

"NTA. I'd go to the rental office and tell them that your roommate has moved his girlfriend into the home without your consent. They take things like that very, very seriously and chances are he's breaking the rental agreement by doing so."

"You're not 'being petty' or mean, or anything akin to that. You're standing up for yourself and what you and the actual roommate agreed."

"This is not about a fridge; it's about the lack of respect from your roommate, and it needs to be addressed."

"First it's the fridge, then what? You're not allowed to watch TV in the living room because someone else's mooch said it's too loud?"

"And as for the bit about keeping the home clean, that's just ridiculous. Absolutely fucking ridiculous, don't stand for that."

"It's YOUR home too, and you're ENTITLED to it, just like your roommate is. His girlfriend is NOT in any way, shape or form."

"What you need to do is contact the landlord or the rental office and explain this to them. It's the only way anything will change. If you don't, you'll end up with a broken lease or having to live with a bum."

"They're using you, don't feel bad for sticking up for yourself." ~ TrulyRenowned

"The audacity of these two f*cknuts is hard to read without getting riled with pure anger. They'd be happy living in filth together, but they CAN'T AFFORD TO!"

"Stop subsidising THEIR lifestyle choices OP, please. They are using you in so many ways."

"You sound like a really thoughtful roommate. Try and find someone who will appreciate you. NTA. Good luck." ~ Honest_Wealth657

"I have a strong suspicion that they are taking advantage of you both financially and spatially. My question to you is how are the bills paid?"

"Do you still pay half, even though there are 3 adults? If the answer is yes, then they are taking such advantage of you—you should really consider moving at the end of your lease (assuming it is in both your names)."

"As far as the fridge is concerned, it would be yours and you just need the let them know it's not shared property and they are not welcome to use it."

"Forgive the harshness, but you need dig deep and stand up for yourself more. NTA." ~ East_Parking8340

"NTA. Stop being nice. So what if she's cooking in the kitchen? Go use it too. Take over space and a burner or whatever you need."

"If she asks you to wait, say no. She can deal or wait until you are done. Remind her this is your place and she's not on the lease or paying rent."

"If you want to buy a fridge OK, but either lock it or get a small one for your room only." ~ PhilosopherSad1808

A few people were a little more forceful in their condemnation of the OP tolerating another roommate that pays no bills.

"YTA for letting a third person move in for 10 months without dealing with it. This is not about the fridge. Now you can't unring that bell and rewind 10 months, so you are going to have to find a new living situation."

"When is your lease up and can you break the lease? In your next roommate situation, discuss what happens with potential BF/GF or overnight guests etc... BEFORE you ever sign a lease. Set out basic ground rules IN WRITING before moving in together."

"Then there are far fewer hard feelings about such things. And frankly, the best roommate rules I've ever seen are from a guy friend of mine. Their rules were simple, no guest in the house unless you were there (no GF coming in to cook while you were at work or locking up getting up and leaving after you left early for your job etc...)"

"Absolutely no keys given to guests (see rule one). No guests staying more than on 1-2 consecutive nights (such as a weekend), and not more than 2 weekends per month."

"No interfering with bathroom/shower schedules/timing of any roommate and in all cases those who pay rent there supersede anyone who doesn't."

"It seems a little harsh, but they all got along great and it made it so every roommate had priority in their own home over non-roommates. It worked." ~ Middle-Fan68

"YTA for allowing girlfriend to live rent free. If she's not on the lease, your landlord may not want her there. The agreement was for you & your co-worker to share, not you, the co-worker and their GF."

"Your co-worker is relying on you to pay half the rent while he & his GF pay the other half. You are being taken advantage of. Grow a spine and start asserting yourself."

"NTA for wanting to buy a fridge & not share. Get a small one to put in your room. If you get a larger one for the kitchen, get a padlock for it. Maybe they'll get the message." ~ MeasureMe2

Everyone agrees on one thing. The OP needs to alter his living arrangements.