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Pregnant Mom Called ‘Heartless’ For Giving Friend A Fake Baby Name So She Wouldn’t Steal It

Two mothers with babies
JGI/Jamie Grill/Getty Images

Naming a baby is an important milestone.

Whether there is a ceremony involved or simply an intimate conversation between the parents, deciding a child’s name is a major moment in the anticipation before the birth.

Expectant mom and Redditor Longjumping-Week-182 had baby names picked out for her child and chose to keep them a secret.

However, a close friend kept demanding to know.

This demand drove the Original Poster (OP) to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) for advice.

She asked,

“AITA for giving my friend a phony potential baby name so she’d quit asking?”

The OP went on to explain.

“A good college friend of mine “Roxy” married my husband’s cousin, and our kids will share their last name.”

“We’re now in our late 20s. I’m 29 weeks pregnant, and Roxy just gave birth to her first, a daughter.”

“Being friends, Roxy and I compared notes, but she also kept asking what I’d go with name-wise. I told her she’ll find out when my baby comes.”

“Once I found out I’m having a boy (no, I won’t say his name), she got more incessant about what girl name I’d picked, saying, “it’s not like it matters now” as if I won’t have another kid.”

“I got annoyed and asked my husband if I’d be wrong just to give a fake name to shut her up.”

“He suggested “Mierda” which is Spanish for “sh*t.”

“I said that to Roxy when she asked me for the ninth time.”

“No exaggeration, that’s how many times I remember her asking. It may have been more.”

“They went with that name, but guess what? Their OB/GYN speaks Spanish, and informed them exactly what that name was.”

“My husband’s cousin called – yes, CALLED – me to cuss me out, saying I am a “heartless b****” for “embarrassing him and Roxy” and ruining what should’ve been the greatest moment of joy in their lives.”

“I didn’t think of that angle and realized I wouldn’t like it if someone did that to me, so AITA?”

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided:

“No. You didn’t know she was going to steal the name.”

“If it wasn’t a bogus name, and you gave the real one – I’d be pissed they used my girl name.”

“So no, it’s on them. They should have looked into the name’s meaning before actually deciding on it.”

“I was picky about names – looking at initials, thinking of nicknames, alternative meanings, etc.”

“They were lazy and stole a sh*t name. Not your fault. Nta” – OddNastySatisfaction

“She PLANNED to steal your name. That’s why she was asking so incessantly.”

“This is disgusting behavior, and they got what they deserved.”

“Who cares if they were embarrassed? They called themselves out. NTA” – babcock27

“Stupid game, stupid prize.”

“She was trying to deceive you about the name and was always going to steal it. What friend does something like that?”

“It was on her to do the research on the name. OP is NTA.” – rainyhawk

Soo NTA. I hate people who steal baby names.”

“Hubby and I spent months going through names for our boys (I didn’t really get a say in our daughters since my hubby and sons wouldn’t budge once they fell in love with one name I jokingly suggested, it’s a normal name at least).”

“I even had to start writing down every name I suggested for our 2nd one because we started re-suggesting the same names over and over again.”

“Names are the first presents we give to our children and our first steps at bonding with them, and it always feels to me that couples that steal names are lazy and not trying to connect with their baby.” – Environmental_Art591


“I’m sorry, but this is one of the first things you learn in another language – cuss words.”

“How come they never heard it? Especially in a country where are so many different and strong communities? Or from soap operas…”

“They are lazy not only because they stole it, but also because they didn’t even care what it means. They could have google it. They just wanted to hurt OP 🙊🙉😬.”

“I wish I was there when the poor ob-gyn was too embarrassed by their embarrassing “chosen” name.”

“For baby 1, I chose the name after the birth, never asked or searched for a name, and my ex didn’t want to name it bc it wasn’t a boy.”

“It took me 2 seconds bc I always thought that I will know the “perfect” name when the time comes.”

“Baby 2 has a name that SO [significant other] dreamed about (literally was dreaming of having a kid named that way), and SO never told a soul until me, during the pregnancy (He never thought that he’ll have a kid).”

“He never demanded to name our kid this way, and it took me months to get him to tell me😆. He was afraid I’ll hate it (long family drama + ex gf-bridezilla-type).”

“OP, your husband rocks! And you, too (especially for keeping a straight face and holding your laugh)!”

“NTA” – Dependent-Show2297

Let me get this straight… she bugged you and bugged you to find out what you’d name your potential daughter with the clear intention of “stealing” it (no one can really steal a name, but it can still be an AH thing to do) and then got upset when it turned out you were joking (kinda)?”

“That sounds like her problem.”

“If she really cared about the name, I think she’d at least look up what it means before deciding on it. That’s why I think she only wanted to use it to spite you. Stupid games, stupid prizes.”

“NTA” – cbm984

“‘They went with that name’”

“And no one on Reddit was surprised!”

“NTA She earned it.” – KronkLaSworda

“HAHAHAHA. NTA. She was basically asking you so she could steal the name. She got what she deserved. also, she doesn’t really sound like a friend.” – gawkwardlyspeaking

“NTA – She was only asking to steal the name. This has honestly made my day that she got comeuppance for what she thought was a slick move.” – lisamalloch

NTA but you don’t sound like you’re really friends.”

“A real friend wouldn’t pester you to death about something this ridiculous and certainly wouldn’t steal the name out from under you.”

“She got what she deserved.” – IamIrene

“NTA, your “friend” is oddly intrusive and, quite frankly, who picks a random name without researching at least what the name means.”

“You threw a name out during a moment of frustration. You never knew that it would go this far.”

“You said, “I wouldn’t like if someone did that to me,” but would you have actually harassed someone to give you the name they chose?”

“They called yelling because they were embarrassed, not because they were “robbed” of a special moment.” – Ecstatic_Air_9052

“Oh and NTA she got what she deserved.” – Lookingforadvice1987

“So let me get this straight… she asked you for your girl name and you thought she might steal it so you gave her another one and she stole it without even googling it, and she’s mad at you?”

“Wow. NTA.” – chad_

“NTA, first of all that’s hilarious. Second of all, she sucks for clearly trying to steal your baby’s name and doing no research at all beforehand.” – swagdaddio69

“I don’t understand. She was willing to name her daughter literally anything you said?”

“That makes 0 sense… does she hate you? So random. NTA” – DrRiverSong45

“NTA- your “good friend” deserved every bit of that embarrassment because she obviously only asked with the intent to use your chosen girl’s name on her baby.”

“Lol, that’s hilarious…” – InterabangSmoose

A case of f*ck around a find out.. done so amazingly well.”

“NTA. – Sufficient-Seaweed52


“Lmao that’s on her for trying to use someone else to name her damn kid.”

“Not to mention she was stealing a baby name” – TriggeredRatBastard

“NTA. Look up a name before giving it to a kid. Especially if it’s a language you don’t speak.” – BabyCowGT

The OP went on to add some clarification.

“EDIT: Wow, this blew up! For y’all asking, I wasn’t trying to be petty. I just wanted Roxy to stop annoying me.”

“I thought she’d look it up and laugh at the joke and not actually name her kid that!”

“We’re not talking right now. I’m gonna wait til she reaches out, and that may be a loooooong time.”

“My husband told me that if they try to yell at me again to hand the phone to him since it was “his sh*tty idea” and he’ll clean up the mess. He didn’t expect them to use it, either.”

“I can’t get back to each and every one of y’all, but I appreciate the support! Glad my husband’s joke made some of y’all laugh, and maybe Roxy should’ve taken the cue!”

As several Redditors said, stupid games, stupid prizes.

We do hope the couple finds a new, suitable name for their baby that they come to without stealing.

Written by B. Miller

B. is a creative multihyphenate who enjoys the power and versatility of the written word. She enjoys hiking, great food and drinks, traveling, and vulnerable conversation. Raised below the Mason Dixon, thriving above it. (she/her)