Redditor Calls Out Girlfriend For Volunteering Them To Help Her Coworker Move Without Asking

When you're a busy person who finally finds time to unwind on a well-deserved day off, the last they want is to be apprised of a surprise obligation.

That is exactly what happened to our Redditor who was looking forward to watching their favorite football team's upcoming game that conflicted with last-minute plans.

So he visited the "Am I the A**hole?" (AITA) subReddit after causing drama with their girlfriend.

There, Redditor Savings-Hearing2736 asked:

"AITA for being frustrated my gf volunteered me to help coworker move?"

The original poster (OP) explained:

"My gf told me that she volunteered me to help someone move this weekend, and i pushed back. Causing her to get upset."

"So my gf told me that she told a coworker that her and I would help her move into her new house. This was not something she consulted and asked me prior if that was okay."

"This coworker is also someone I have only met twice in a year of dating, along with someone that she has not hung out with outside of work events."

The OP continued:

"I was frustrated for a few reasons. I have only met this person twice, so I don't necessarily think I should be obligated to help them without my consent."

"My team's football game will be happening during this time. I feel like this time is the one time of week I actually have to do what I want and just relax (we see each other 7 days a week.) so that is a blow to me on top of just being a fan of the team."

"This is something I have continually tried to communicate to her saying when my team plays each week etc and how important it is to me."

The OP wrapped things up with their grievance.

"I honestly just wanted to relax this weekend and not do anything, and asked her to spend the weekend at my place (we almost always spend it at hers) while I did not explicitly say I wanted to relax this weekend (I know I could communicate better) typically when I ask to stay at my place that means we are going to have a relaxed weekend, since my place is further away from activities, etc."

"After pushing back to my gf stating those reasons, I was frustrated that she never asked me first, she went on to tell me I'm a bad person and she already told the coworker that I would help and should just help people move."

"Which I honestly feel is just not fair towards me at all. Am I in the wrong here?"

Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA - You're The A**hole
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
• NAH - No A**holes Here

Many Redditors sided with the OP as not the a**hole (NTA) here.

"NTA. I didn't even read your reasons, your simply NTA in any way shape or form because she didn't consult with you first."

"Myself and my girlfriend always consult each other before anything like that, even for friends and family we BOTH know. On top of that, we hold a 0 pressure situation about it, I didn't attend her work party or her best friends dads funeral, both of which I was invited to, and she has no issues with that."

"I went on a driving holiday earlier this year, my girlfriend wasn't too interested in days worth of driving or seeing the motor race that we drove to, I had no issue with this, I went with my dad."

"There should be no pressure to attend even if consulted, never mind if you weren't asked in the first place."

"For the 3rd time, NTA, don't let anyone tell you otherwise." – Klutzy_Wall_5894

"NTA. You don't have to do anything you didn't agree to. She definitely should have asked if you were willing first. I honestly see this as a glimpse into your future if you stay with her long term. She doesn't respect your time and thinks she can dictate how you use it." – Deep-Manner-4111

"NTA. I would approach the person you're supposed to help and just tell her that you're sorry but your GF unfortunately volunteered you without asking and you already had plans so you're not able to help."

"Don't need to explain why or what your plans are, but by explaining yourself, you can make it clear you weren't asked in case that's not what she is told." – ChatKat1957

"NTA. But don't relent. No matter the excuse/reason, bad behavior should NEVER be rewarded. You should also ask your gf what exactly is this 'it' that ppl do for each other. If she meant helping out others, then yes, that is a noble gesture, but that's not what this is about."

"You are taking exception to the fact that she volunteered your time and energy without even consulting you. Then she tried to guilt you into it by turning it into some classist bs. Since she's the one who brought it up first, you should ask her to explain how growing up poor gives her the right to trample all over you." – Extension_Climate471

"This is manipulation. People help each other out? Yes, yes they do. But people do not volunteer others without consulting them. "

"Snap out of it! Your girlfriend here is the one who should feel sh*tty! She made a rash decision to volunteer you, she wanst to get credit for your efforts, she cannot take responsibility for her mistake and puts it on you. She stomped over your boundaries. If you let her do it now, she will do it again. Guaranteed."

"It has nothing to do with income. Listen, people should have self respect regardless of income. It doesn't work different for poorer people... Utter bs." – Worldly-Feedback6663

"This is a slippery slope!!! It's the lack of communication that's the main issue here. Welp…guess I'll be the bad guy because I had plans and you didn't check with me first 🤷‍♂️You can tell YOUR friend you are sorry, I'm sorry or whatever she wants to come up with (sick,family event,etc.) but I won't be there."

"If you want to compromise a tiny bit you could say I can help from 8-10am but absolutely have to leave by 10 and then stick to your guns. Communication is key so if you offer this as an option and you have to trust that your GF will be on your side."

"If she says he has to go to a football game or something stupid then you will never help again. You both come up with a story and say 'I have a previous engagement that starts at 10:30 so I have to leave by 10.' She seems immature and will likely say something about a stupid football game but you know her best."

"NTA." – Itsmeimtheproblem_1

"Definitely NTA. Moving is like, the unspoken favor Olympics, and signing someone up without asking? That's a gold medal in volunteering others. Helping friends move is one thing, but a coworker you've met twice? And during a game?"

"That's borderline heroic levels of patience you're being asked for here. Maybe suggest next time she check with you first before committing to Team U-Haul—it might keep everyone a little more 'moved' by the weekend plans." – _Externails_

"NTA. Would it really have taken her that much effort to just check with you first? I don't volunteer my husband for tasks without checking with him first basically ever."

"He's not an extension of me, he's his own person, and he may have his own plans that conflict with whatever the other person is asking for. That's the argument you need to bring to this: it's really disrespectful to just volunteer you to do something without checking first." – algunarubia

"Remember that when the person you are dating/married to/in a relationship with tells you that you are a bad person because you won't do something they volunteered you for without asking, they are actually the bad person and are pushing you because you have upset them. One person should never volunteer another without asking first. That is common courtesy 101."

"Also remember that you do not have to give an explanation why your answer is no, and in fact, the more you try to explain, the worse things get. Maybe say:"

"GF: no, I will not be helping your co-worker move this weekend. It does not make me a bad person to tell you this. If you need to save face with your friend, then tell her that you volunteered me without asking and then found out I have other plans for the weekend that can't be changed."

"Or you can tell her that I'm a jerk and would rather party with my friends than help. It is up to you. In the future, do not volunteer me for things without asking me first. You can be angry with me all you want. Quite frankly I am rather peeved that you took it upon yourself to volunteer me, then you get pissy when I won't fall into line. I am unhappy that you won't be spending the weekend with me." – Tinkerpro

Aside from the fact that communication was obviously lacking in this relationship, they generally thought it was audacious of the girlfriend to make plans without the OP's consent.

While the girlfriend's motive stemmed from a place of kindness, Redditors definitely believed she was out of line in how she carried out the plan.