Not everyone invited to a wedding is going to be thrilled about the event. Sadly, not all relationships are supported by the couple’s loved ones. Most people with objections let go and let God.
The heart wants who it wants and loved ones have to trust that the couple getting hitched knows what they’re doing.
A few people though, can’t help but try to pull a few stunts to derail the proceedings.
Redditor ThrowRAOpposite_Poet wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback, so naturally he came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
He asked:
“AITA For Kicking my Mother out of my Wedding After She Brought my Ex as Her Plus One?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (M[ale] 30) started seeing June (F[emale] 29) about three years ago.”
“My mother has never really liked June for a couple of reasons, the main one being the fact that June didn’t let my mom push her around.”
“She kept firm boundaries, which I really admired, and she even helped me do the same.”
“My mom hated this, calling June controlling and wishing I hadn’t broken up with my previous girlfriend Margo, who my mom loved.”
“I was with Margo for 5 years and it was horrible.”
“Margo was very controlling and manipulative and always guilted me into things I wasn’t comfortable with.”
“But thanks to support from friends and my sister, I was able to leave her.”
“It was hard, but I had help, and my life has improved since.”
“My mom was very upset with this, but not all relationships last, so she eventually let it go until I started dating June about a year later.”
“When June and I announced our engagement, my mom didn’t freak out, which was weird considering that my mom hates June.”
“She was very calm, but I just took it as she was finally accepting us, and so I didn’t think much of it.”
“Everything was fine and smooth up until the wedding.”
“I gave both my parents a plus one to the wedding since they remarried after I graduated college.”
“So I’m not close to their spouses, but I gave them the option of inviting them.”
“We had a very small ceremony.”
“Just immediate family and a few close friends.”
“After the ceremony, June and I went to take pictures and then met back with everyone we invited to the reception, which was pretty big.”
“When we got there, My sister and June’s best friend/maid of honor ran up to us in a panic.”
“Before they even said anything, I spotted it.”
“My mom was at the table with my dad, my dad’s wife, and Margo.”
“I wanted to freak but June kept me calm.”
“I walked over, pulled them both aside, and simply told them to leave.”
“My mom tried to explain Margo, and I are soulmates, and June is just in the way of true love, but I wasn’t hearing it.”
“I didn’t care.”
“I just got my best friends to escort them out, and I returned to the party where, luckily, after a few moments, I was able to relax and enjoy it.”
“I really didn’t think this would all turn into something huge, but me and June just got back from our honeymoon where we didn’t have our phones, and seeing mine, I saw hundreds of texts from multiple family members.”
“They all think I was an a**hole for kicking my mom out of her only son’s wedding.”
“For the record, she was there for the ceremony but apparently was really upset she was kicked from the reception.”
“Here’s a summary of my family’s thoughts.”
“Some think I could have just ignored Margo and didn’t have to ‘freak out.’”
“A few others, including my dad, think I should have just kicked out Margo and let my mom stay, but after the stunt my mom pulled, I didn’t want her there either.”
“I’m starting to second-guess myself since everyone is really mad.”
“June and my sister are on my side, but I fear my dad may be right, and I should have just let my mom stay and made Margo leave.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“So I’ve come to Reddit, AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“OP please send this to everyone and block those defending your mom’s action.”
“NTA OP, by the way.”
“Why is it you are expected to keep peace when your mom disrespected you and your wife on your wedding day?”
“I’d consider N[o] C[ontact] too after this whole thing with your mom OP.” ~ bunnywasabi
“NTA. Your mother was there to sabotage your marriage.”
“She told you that the bride was a mere inconvenience.”
“She brought in a replacement, your ex.”
“June should not have to suffer anyone behaving like that in her wedding reception.”
“Throwing her out the way you did was absolutely the right thing to do.” ~ Mean-Fix7821
“Agree here OP.”
“And I’d share what your mother said at the reception.”
“She was cruel in her comments about your wife.”
“That warrants NO CONTACT.”
“Ask your father if he’d tolerate you saying those things about his new wife/SO.”
“I say BULLS**T to your mother.”
“Just pretend she’s dead.”
“She’s toxic.” ~ Tight-Shift5706
“And what did mom expect—OP saying ‘Oh! You’re right Mom—Margo IS my soul mate—I will get an annulment and run off with Margo!’”
“Mom has some big irrational thinking or just wants to be right. June sounds like an amazing woman, boundaries and all.”
“OP is NTA.” ~ dodoatsandwiggets
“NC with mom and everyone who supported her.”
“No second guessing, full NC.”
“Someone who does something like that will more than likely continue to try and interfere.” ~ wubster64
“NTA. Kicking Margo out would not have been enough.”
“Side note, who tf goes to their ex’s wedding with his mom? psycho.”
“Your mother actively tried to sabotage your wedding.”
“She brought an abusive ex and then said your new wife was in the way. That’s appalling.”
“She deserved to be kicked out and your family should acknowledge that she clearly didn’t want to be there.”
“She wanted to hurt you and your wife.” ~ Apprehensive_War9612
“I can’t believe that there are grown adults who are so childish and petty they’ll go to an ex’s wedding as a mean-spirited plus one when you broke up four years ago.”
“She could have gotten a whole degree in that time period, but she still wants to be the same person who got dumped.”
“NTA OP – Block and go live your life with your new wife.” ~ ilovechairs
“Weddings are to celebrate the couple getting married.”
“Mom obviously didn’t want to partake. Goodbye.”
“Probably for good. NTA.” ~ InfiniteRosie
“I’m also wondering what the game plan here even was ????”
“Margo was at the reception AFTER the ceremony, so OP was already married to June.”
“So was the point for him to see her after already committing his life to June, realize how much he loves her, and then file for the world’s quickest annulment or divorce so he could be with her????”
“I mean it’s just beyond dumb.” ~ GramNotGraham
“I’m pretty sure the game plan was to simply punish them, especially June, by being an absolute d**k and attempting to spoil the wedding.”
“I mean no way this woman thought this would actually lead to her son getting back with Margo.”
“So if mom doesn’t get her way, then she will simply make everyone else as miserable as she can.” ~ Crumbtinies
“Legally speaking, there would be no need for divorce or annulment because the marriage license had not yet been filed.”
“They could tear up the license and walk away as if the wedding didn’t happen.”
“Maybe that’s what the Mom was counting on or hoping for.” ~ Immediate-Ad7531
OP responded…
“Number 3 is a good point and something I’ll remind my Dad.”
“My Mom has always been like this, very dramatic and demanding of getting her way so my entire family is very used to it.”
“I think they expected me to just let my Mom do her thing and ignore it like I usually did in the past.”
“Although dramatic she was still a very caring and supportive mother while I grew up.”
“She’s still my Mom, even as she continues to be like this.”
“I still can’t really imagine my life without her in it.”
“But I do now have a new commitment, June, so I think I do have to begin to consider cutting all contact with her.”
Reddit continued…
“NTA – Your wedding, your rules.”
“If there’s one day you get to be selfish with your partner, it’s this day.”
“And what your mom did was manipulative (and f**k Margo for going along with it).”
“Maybe your mom and Margo should start dating each other since they have things in common like being controlling and manipulative.” ~ AwesomeAsian
“Bet mom won’t give up either.”
“Anything she gets invited to or crashes will be with Margo traipsing along with her.”
“Anyone who supports the mother should be blocked.”
“How despicable of anyone to support her.”
“I like the email the first posters suggested, blast it out to everyone, and anyone who still supports her needs to go bye-bye.”
“Don’t be surprised when others you least suspect keep mom informed about every event.” ~ Dangerous_Ant3260
“NTA, your Mom kicked herself out.”
“Your mother loved Margo cos she is your mother, a bully and controlling.”
“Enjoy your new marriage and your firm boundaries.”
“Tell your Dad that your mother made the choice to leave her husband at home to create drama and that’s not a loving mother at work so she doesn’t get to enjoy the wedding, NTA.” ~ SadFlatworm1436
“NTA. Your mom crossed a line by inviting your ex, Margo, to your wedding reception without permission.”
“This was disrespectful to both you and your wife, and you had every right to ask them both to leave.”
“Your wedding day was about you and June, and your mom’s actions undermined that.”
“While some family members may be upset, you were right to protect your boundaries and the peace on your special day.” ~ janneholly
“NTA. You need to go hard NC with your mother.”
“What a piece of work.”
“Explain the circumstance of your mother bringing your manipulative ex to your WEDDING RECEPTION to tell you to marry her instead.”
“If they still insist that you shouldn’t have kicked her out for this(!!) then tell those family members to kindly f**k off.”
“Then block.” ~ davekayaus
“It wasn’t Margo who disrespected and violated your trust, although why she would look like a loser and go is something else.”
“Your mother treated you and your wife with contempt and should have absolutely been thrown out.”
“Actions have consequences, this was hers.”
“Totally deserved it. NTA.” ~ Stunning-Attitude366
“NTA. Your mother did something to upset you and your wife, on purpose, ON YOUR WEDDING DAY.”
“She did not deserve to be there because she is a nasty piece of work who was trying to ruin a special day to prove a point.” ~ Physical_Dance_9606
“She didn’t just attend with your ex, she brought your ex specifically to object to your marriage.”
“For everyone complaining what do they think keeping your mom there would have accomplished?”
“She clearly wasn’t there to celebrate you or your happiness anyway. NTA.” ~ Legal_Reception_6494
“NTA and your dad is being a dumbass as well.”
“Margo wasn’t the one who initiated this, maybe she had filled your Mom’s brain with ideas but she couldn’t have come unless your mom invited her.”
“It’s fully on your mother and she should be kicked out.”
“What she said is extremely hurtful to your wife and just absolutely stupid.”
“If possible talk to your Mom and set these boundaries, overbearing M[other]-I[n]-L[aw]s are a big issue in most marriages.” ~ FinancialStock666
“NTA. Allowing your mother to stay would have ruined June’s wedding day.”
“You did the right thing.’
“You needed to let your wife know you have her back and disrespect is not tolerated.” ~ pinkunder
“This is all on your mom, who was disrespectful and deliberately provocative.”
“It’s all on her. NTA.” ~ Famous_Specialist_44
“Play stupid games and win stupid prizes. NTA.” ~ only_grans
Your mother’s behavior is outrageous, OP.
You were standing up for your bride and yourself.
It’s shocking that your family members didn’t kick them out before you arrived.
Reddit is with you. It might be a good idea to go to little to no contact.
It’s a sad thought, but you have to put yourself first.
Good luck and congratulations!!!