There is a lot of pressure for the best man to give an inspirational speech during a wedding toast.
But unless he is heavily intoxicated, how hard can it be for the best man not to sabotage his highly anticipated toast?
Redditor CaregiverHuge1686 – a 30-year-old male and designated best man – reacted emotionally to a sequence of events that led to a speech the newly married couple will, unfortunately, remember forever.
He later visited "Am I the A**hole?" (AITA) subReddit and asked:
"AITA telling the truth in the wedding toast?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"I'm a 30 year old male and my best friend got married last week. I just bought a house and my wife is expecting out son in November, so I let him know I was limited in what I could contribute financially, but did tell him I would try my best."
"So, I went to the bachelor party in Maine, I rented the tux, and paid for mine and my wife's dinner at the rehearsal dinner."
"I also had a gift of $300 that I was going to give them, but we will get to why I didn't give it to them."
"His (now wife, then fiance) texted me multiple times a day with updates--fine. I didn't always respond and it got to the point where if I didn't respond at LEAST once a day, I'd get a call from my buddy."
"(I have a full time job and am redoing some rooms in my house, so I'm busy.) She texted me for the following reasons:"
"My wife was NOT allowed to talk about our pregnancy, at all. She didn't want anyone to focus on that more than her, the bride."
"She was NOT going to order special food for my wife (no one asked her to, my wife was fine with whatever she was going to be served.)"
"I was not helping the groom enough, he had to help her with favors, seating charts and programs, so I had to help him with those things, according to her. She also said to get ready to help with thank you notes after the wedding."
"She said if I was a true best man, I would offer to pay for the bar bill. I don't even know what that means."
"She had to pre-approve my speech before the rehearsal dinner and wanted to be included as much, as my buddy."
"She told me to make up things if I had to. I was also NOT allowed to include anyone but the two of them and no inside jokes or stories about my buddy that didn't include her."
"Her last text said to tell my wife to keep it together and not make a pregnancy scene during the wedding. Also, she wanted her to choose a dress that downplayed her pregnancy as much as possible."
"I was just so aggravated, I spoke to my friend to see if he could reason with her. He told me to just play ball on this one, it's her day and to cut him a break, because he'd be dealing with her nonsense for the rest of his life. I was annoyed but calmed down."
"The day of, all the bride and my buddy do is scold me, berate me and bark orders."
"I head down to the bar for the a drink...the bride's mother is there and warns me not to get drunk because I've ruined her daughter's day enough. Final straw."
"I didn't give them the card with the cash and in the speech, I used my friend's exact wording about having to deal with her nonsense for the rest of his life."
"I wished them the best and told him I'd always be there for him, especially during the divorce. AITA?"
Strangers on the internet were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You're the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
Many Redditors said everyone sucks here.
"ESH- here's why:"
"Groom knew he was marrying a piece of work and instead of protecting his interests he cosigned, aided, and abetted his wife's atrocious behavior."
"His wife sucks for trying to regulate your wife's body, for allowing her insecurities to cloud her judgement, and being the very definition of a bridezilla."
"You, for not taking the high road and waiting until the very last min to defend your wife's honor."
"Look dude, you were totally justified, but you also had ample opportunity to jump off the crazy train before it got this far. Being a good friend means having the comfortability and latitude to say no when your friends are off the rails."
"You waited until the last min and let your emotions get the better of you. Your wife deserved better from these people and from you in this moment."
"P.S. Get new friends, these people suck HARD. CORE."
"ESH but applauding OP quietly so not to draw attention to the fact that I'm pregnant. I don't want to ruin his post." – lotsofcache
"I think you're missing a piece here. From what I gather, dude was trying to go along with all this unbelievable bullsh*t because he was trying to be a supportive friend."
"Then he reached that point of 'Ok, you know what? F'k this, actually.'"
"We've all reached that point somewhere in our lives and made a**es of ourselves. But this guy was 100% justified in burning this friendship to the ground by the point of the toast, and he salted the f'king earth in the process."
"I'm sorry, but I gotta respect that." – MysteryDildoBandit
"Yes, he reached that point, but what he did impacted everyone that was present."
"He wasn't just being petty to bride and groom, he was being an AH and making a scene that impacts everyone present. ESH" – johnny9k
"OP can't have been the only one on the receiving end of the bride and groom's BS, so he likely said what others were thinking..."
"Oh to be a fly on the wall of that reception..." – timetravelingkitty
"This is a very good example of 'ESH but OP was completely justified' 😂" – knittedjedi
"ESH indeed. Don't forget to include the bride's mom, as well, for allowing her daughter to act like such a bridezilla and for accusing OP of 'ruining' her daughter's day 'enough already.'" – SayerSong
"ESH But listen."
"You are my hero."
"Also be aware that your friendship might be over if not for any other reason than that the new wifey will make it so." – talkmemetome
"From the title alone, I was prepared to think you were the AH…through the bridezilla bits I was thinking yikes, they are the AH…and by the time I got to the end I was a firm ESH."
"I don't blame you for not giving the card. They treated you horribly and did not deserve the generous gift you were prepared to give."
"But I think being 'honest' in the speech took it too far. You would have been better off just cutting it super short ('words can't even describe these two…so let's raise a glass' the end)."
"I don't think your speech was too much because of how it impacted them but because of their families."
"Maybe their families suck as much as them (they had to get their ridiculous entitlement somewhere), but I'd be horrified to witness a best man speech like you described if I were a guest at a wedding." – poodle_kitten
Some Redditors either applauded the OP for his brutally honest speech or designated him as the a**hole for not taking the high road and refusing to back out of his wedding duties before things went south.
But a strong majority saw everyone culpable for their part in the drama.
Woman Breaks Up With 'Clingy' Boyfriend For Making Joke About 'Getting With' Her Sister
As much as we might want to date someone, there's no point in trying to gain the attention and affection of someone who does not want to reciprocate.
Dating someone "similar" to fill that void isn't a good look, either, cringed the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Flashy-External1666 had been long-distance dating a guy from her friend group for about a month, even though he'd expressed his attraction to her older sister repeatedly before they started dating.
When her sister entered a new relationship, the Original Poster (OP) was hurt and disgusted that her boyfriend insinuated that he could have been trying to "get with" her sister while he was instead busy dating her.
She asked the sub:
The OP was aware that her boyfriend had his eye on someone close to her before dating her.
"I (19 Female) am with M (21 Male), and we've been together for a month. We were friends before this, for a while."
"For some background, when we were in a friend group, he'd always talk about how my sister (23 Female) was super hot and how he wanted her, but she was in a relationship at the time."
When he found out that her sister had been in-between relationships, he had an unsavory reaction.
"Earlier today, I mentioned to him how my sister started seeing this new guy, and I was super proud of her, because she went through a lot with her last relationship."
"His immediate reply was, 'Dang,' one month too late' with a sad emoji, insinuating that he was one month too late to get with her, because we've been together for a month."
You can see the text message exchange here:
The OP was immediately turned off by the idea of dating him.
"After I got upset and he apologized, he immediately sent me a reel that said, 'When she's already upset about me, but I have a second joke in mind.'"
"I feel like he genuinely doesn't care about me."
"He has also gotten weirdly clingy within the month, like red-flag clingy."
"He keeps trying to say how he loves me, wants to marry me, and wants me to go live with him. But he also always brings up my exes and gets super jealous when HE mentions them."
"I don't know what to do. Should I block him??"
"He's mentioned before that I would need to block him on everything if we ever broke up because he'd never leave me alone (we are currently long-distance)."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some were grossed out by the boyfriend's text message and understood why the OP was upset.
"The fact that he wrote all that out and even added a little emoji at the end and still decided to send it, knowing it would be hurtful for you."
"Seems like he’s texted that to see if he could get away with it. Either way, you don’t say something like that to someone you care about…" - Oven_Traditional
"NOR. Ew! That’s so disrespectful coming from someone who should be thrilled to have you."
"I’m team 'dump him.' If he has a brother, maybe ask for his brother’s number as you end it just to see how he likes it." - Entire-Tonight-1463
"NOR. He's not joking about your sister. Based on what he's said about her in the past, it would have been a wise move to NOT date him at all. PERIOD."
'There's a possibility that he's clingy/close to you for the purpose of indirectly keeping an eye on your sister. Release him and let him go, thereby setting yourself free from foolishness." - AtlJazzy2024
"He’s not for you… Break up with him and block him. You deserve a guy who treasures YOU!" - Muted-Lynx-8745
"He might be your boyfriend, but you're not his girlfriend. In his mind, your sister is." - Save-your-spoons
Others urged the OP to block her boyfriend and move on.
"Girl, it's been a month. Let that loser go." - sleepymelfho
"He kept OP as a backup, while circling her sister's orbit. What has happened to transparency and honesty in relationships? All I read now is obnoxious men doing obnoxious things to their partners."
"OP, he's keeping you around to stay close to your sister. You deserve better... NOR." - ColdHandGee
"NOR. You know that he's not joking about wanting your sister. He told on himself before you even got together, talking about how hot she was. Believe him."
"Break up with him and cut him off immediately. I can't believe you ever agreed to date him in the first place. I'd never want to date someone who had the hots for someone else in my immediate circle, whether that was a sibling or a friend." - Lanky_Mud_8148
"You’ve been dating one month, and that’s one month too long."
"He’s not joking about your sister. He fancies her more than you, and you’re the consolation prize. He will pursue her given the chance."
"Time to dump him." - Special_Wind_6708
"NOR. He can't have your sister, so you're just the next best thing. Him being a clingy weirdo that 'will never leave you alone' is the cherry on top."
"You know what to do. Dump him and block him on everything. If anyone from the friend group asks, just tell them what you told us. And you REALLY should warn your sister; you have receipts." - sdoM-bmuD
"Ditch him. Honestly. What are you waiting for?" - forget_me_not_uwu
"NOR at all. Cut this loser out of all channels of your life."
"I wouldn’t block, though. Just ghost so that he can watch you become happier without him as the ultimate revenge because I’m petty like that, and he clearly deserves it."
"ALSO, if he's as creepy and clingy as he sounds, you can have him muted, so he can see your activity, but you won't have to see his... But you'd have all of his messages as receipts if he ever became threatening or stalkerish for police purposes."
"For more context: My mum started dating my dad (when she was 19, too), who initially tried to go for her older sister (two years older) and got rejected."
"After three years of dating, seven years of engagement, and 20 years of marriage where she put up with an incompetent man-child that wouldn’t do anything for himself and expected her to completely cater to him while he berated her and treated her like s**t..."
"...it ended in him cheating on her with a waitress for over a year and denying it until my mum had literal photographic evidence, to which he had the audacity to respond with the reasoning that she was the reason he was 'driven to cheat' (as if that was even remotely close to the truth and the only option to solve his ‘problems’)."
"Save yourself, girl. This man-child can learn to pine over you and your sister from afar as you both skip into the sunset together, moving on with your lives and into better relationships that fulfill you the way you deserve!" - peachycritter
Some cautioned the OP to also cover her tracks after the breakup, as he sounded worse than "clingy" to them.
"The actual scary part isn't even the sister joke; it's, 'he said he'd never leave me alone if we broke up,' only one month in."
"That line gave me chills, and that alone would have me Googling how to block someone on every platform that exists." - babydoodle91
"Ew. These super clingy guys right out the gate are scary. Please watch your step, and erase your tracks." - Immabirb
"He sounds like a stalker... Drop him now, fast. And block him everywhere." - Admirable_Program720
"NOR, yes, you block him, and you keep him out of your life, and you tell mutual friends that if they try to facilitate contact between you two, you will block them as well. He isn't joking." - JustAsICanBeSoCruel
"I watch way too much crime for this!"
"Girl, block him. Also tell your sister to block him, too; he’s obsessed with her." - MrsRoronoaZoro
"NOR. You're underreacting, honestly."
"He wants your sister, but you're close enough. He's obsessed with her and won't give it up even though he has someone he 'wants to marry.'"
"Also, he's not lying. He probably will stalk you online afterwards; please be careful." - Phoenix-Phire-38
"NOR at all. Your post kept adding on more red flags with each additional sentence. I know you’re young, but he’s toxic, and yes, you will need to block him."
"Breaking up with someone you have strong feelings for is really difficult, so when you leave, you should make sure to lean on friends and family and keep yourself distracted with things you like and find engaging." - query_tech_sec
"The s**t with your sister is nothing compared to the love-bombing and jealousy. This guy is trouble, and scary, and you will have done the right thing when you leave him and maintain the distance between the two of you. NOR." - potatomeeple
After receiving feedback, the OP posted an update, but it seemed to be only the beginning.
"Thank you for making me feel less crazy."
"I blocked him on everything and deactivated my Instagram."
"He DM'ed a girl that I had posted ONCE on my Instagram Stories, asking about me."
"I'm not sure if he's going to keep trying to talk to me, but I hope not."
The subReddit's internal alarm bells were ringing while reading the OP's post, and they hoped that she'd leave her boyfriend in every sense of the word. They already lived long-distance, but she needed to cut him off in every other sense.
Not only was it obvious that he wanted someone else and was with the OP to "make up for it," but his "promises" of not leaving her alone if she ever broke up with him were love-bombing and stalker-like, at best.