We all have hobbies and something that brings us joy, and some of us even have an expensive hobby that’s difficult to sustain without the proper funding for supplies.
But if we want to keep that hobby going, we have to think about what we’re willing to sacrifice for it, and there are some obviously wrong answers, pointed out the members of the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit, like… pawning your partner’s family heirlooms.
Redditor Born_Candidate2749 was shocked and disgusted when she realized that her husband had pawned her beloved grandmother’s locket that she left for her so he could buy parts for his drone.
But when she found this out, all the Original Poster (OP) demanded that her husband do was sleep on the couch.
She asked the sub:
“AITAH for making my husband sleep on the couch after he pawned my grandmother’s necklace for drone parts?”
The OP’s husband had recently developed an expensive hobby.
“My husband, Mark (34 Male), and I (32 Female) have been together for nine years, married for six.”
“Lately, he’s gotten really into FPV drone racing. It’s a cool hobby, I guess, but the expenses have started to climb pretty quickly.”
“When my grandmother passed away years ago, she left me a gold locket.”
“It isn’t incredibly valuable monetarily, but it means the world to me. It’s one of the few things I have to remember her by, and I have told Mark how special it is. I always kept it in a particular box in our dresser.”
The OP was shocked when she realized why she couldn’t find the locket.
“A few days ago, I wanted to look at the locket, but the box was gone. I searched our room and then the whole house.”
“When I asked Mark if he’d seen it, he was a bit evasive before finally admitting he sold it.”
“He said he used the money for some new drone frame because he needed a specific upgrade.”
“He also said I never really wore it anyway, so he figured it was just sitting there.”
“I was completely floored and very upset. I told him how irreplaceable that locket was to me and that its sentimental value far outweighed any drone part.”
“He sort of brushed it off, saying I was being a bit dramatic over an old piece of jewelry.”
“He did mention he would try to get it back if it was really that important to me. His casual attitude about the whole thing hurt a lot.”
The OP didn’t want to be anywhere near him after that.
“That night, I told him he could sleep on the couch. I said he needed to understand how much he hurt me and that he had to get the locket back.”
“He told me I was being ridiculous for ‘punishing’ him like this and kicking him out of our bed over something he thought was minor. He also said that since our finances are generally combined, it was technically money we both had access to.”
“Now, I am starting to wonder if I am the a**hole for making him sleep on the couch over this. Am I overreacting?”
“AITAH?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some reassured the OP that she didn’t react harshly enough toward her husband.
“She didn’t react enough. Driving him IMMEDIATELY to the pawn shop and demanding he get it back immediately, or you’re filing theft charges, is showing him how serious it is.”
“Making hiM sLeeP oN the coUch is f**king kids play weak bulls**t.” – lookthepenguins
“He doesn’t deserve the couch. Let’s be real, he deserves the f**king sidewalk. He doesn’t seem to give two s**ts about you. Kick this moron to the curb, NTA.” – Wrong_Moose_9763
“NTA. Seriously? Have some self-respect. I bet a BUNCH of your stuff is missing, and you don’t even realize it.”
“Apparently, what’s yours is his, and he doesn’t care about yours. That’s such a serious breach of respect that the couch would be his easiest moment in the coming months. Scorched earth!” – Organized_Khaoes
“NOOOOOO. Your husband STOLE from you. Your husband STOLE your GRANDMA’s gold locket and SOLD it so he could fund HIS hobby.”
“Why have you not filed a police report? Why are you still with him?”
“He completely disregarded your feelings and disrespected you on multiple levels. Why do you want to stay married to someone like that?” – Srvntgrrl_789
“NTA. This ‘man’ sold your dead grandma’s necklace for a f**king drone part and had the balls to say YOU were being dramatic?? Bruh.”
“Sleeping on the couch is charity at that point. He’s lucky you didn’t launch his a** out the f**king window.” – FairyAngelXD
“NTA, but you need to be reacting even stronger.”
“You can no longer afford his ‘hobby’ to the point where he has to pawn s**t (though your grandmother’s locket is not s**t) for cash??”
“And his WHOLE punishment is sleeping on the couch? And it’s ‘too much’? Seriously?”
“You need to really rethink if this is how you want to live your life. Your husband doesn’t love or respect you AT ALL.” – shep2105
“Do not let him off the couch until you get it back. Tell all of the women in his family and yours, as well as all of your friends. He needs to be shamed.”
“You are not mad enough. He knows you won’t stand up for yourself, so he will continue to disrespect and manipulate you.”
“Check out DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim Blame, Offender). He is awful. NTA.” – Feeling-Fab-U-Lus
Others suggested ways for the OP to really get back at her husband for this.
“Pawn his drone. Tell him you will retrieve it after he gets your locket back. He knew he was doing the wrong thing, because he did it behind your back.”
“If he really thought it was an unimportant bit of junk, he would have told you he was thinking about selling it to get his drone bits.” – Old-Mention9632
“So you married a thief? I would empty every penny from your joint account and open a new account that he has no access to. And if he had any objection, just tell him it’s technically your money too, because that’s how marriage works.”
“Oh, and pawn the drone, his wedding band, and his gaming device. They’re all yours as well, right?” – Only_Music_2640
“Why didn’t he sell something of HIS? The fact that he did this so casually shows how little respect he has for you (OP) and your family.”
“I’ve got several pricey hobbies, and it would never cross my mind to raid my wife’s family heirlooms to pay for them. That’s pretty f**ked up.” – BookkeeperNo1888
“A drone part is more valuable to him than something that’s sentimental to you. Sell his car or something he finds sentimental that he isn’t ‘using’ and see how he reacts.”
“If he gets mad, just tell him, ‘You’re being dramatic, and it was just sitting there, so I didn’t think it was that important to you, and I really needed a new wardrobe and laptop.'” – s9_noworries
“NTA. Your husband stole your grandmother’s locket and sold it to fund his hobby. File a police report and demand he tells you exactly where he pawned it off. He needs to do whatever he can to get that back for you, with no guarantee of getting to stay in your life, just because he messed up.”
“Then divorce his a**.” – xpoisonvalkyrie
“Technically, the pawn shop has received stolen goods. Your difficulty will be proving that you are the owner, unless you have a letter or will or other document indicating that the necklace is yours.”
“The police won’t need that kind of evidence if you choose to report the theft.”
“Tell Sticky Paws that if you don’t have it in your hands by Friday at 5:00, you will be reporting the theft.”
“Personally, I’d also add that I would also be seeing a divorce lawyer, but dishonesty, selfishness, and unkindness are real triggers for me.”
“NTA, but you will be one to yourself if you don’t put your foot down. He’s going to keep doing s**t like this if you don’t go nuclear on him now.” – voyageur1066A
“‘He also said since our finances are generally combined, it was technically money we both had access to.’
“NTA. Legally, money is one thing. Personal possessions one brings into a marriage are in a totally different category. Inheritance is NOT community property in a marriage. That necklace belongs to you and you alone.”
“I’d call the cops and try to have him arrested for theft. First, record a discussion with him where you get him to admit he sold it. Then you have proof.”
“If you are feeling generous, you could tell him he has three or four days to get it back before you press charges. Also, demand a sincere apology.”
“If he refuses, then press charges and talk to a lawyer about a divorce. His taking of the necklace and his total dismissal of your anger at him indicate he has likely checked out of any meaningful role in the marriage.” – VariousTry4624
The subReddit could not stop side-eyeing not just the OP’s husband for his priorities and what he had done to sustain his hobbies, but for how little the OP seemed to think she was worth, based on her “too harsh” of a punishment.
By only making her husband sleep on the couch, she was clearly communicating how little trouble he’d be in for serious offenses like this and that it would be totally worth it to do it again.