Some people can’t mind their business.
Other people’s business and backstory can be like an obsession.
People will walk up to total strangers and just ask inappropriate, personal questions.
To the people being accosted, this type of behavior often takes an emotional toll.
Redditor Aurora-supernova to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
She asked:
“AITA for not disclosing my medical history to a stranger?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (F[emale] 27) am an amputee.”
“People always ask me what happened to my amputated leg as the first thing they say without even being cordial enough to introduce themselves or have small talk.”
“Sometimes I tell them that it’s rude to do so, and they cuss me out.”
“Ever since my amputation, countless people have asked me what happened to me.”
“At first, I wasn’t bothered by it, and sometimes I would poke fun, saying a shark bit it off or some other random story.”
“However, as time progressed, it began to upset me more and more.”
“I would get stopped in the middle of a parking lot, stopped in a busy aisle of the store, stopped on my way to and from appointments, etc.”
“The part that bothered me the most is that they didn’t even have the decency to introduce themselves, make small talk, or even ask me my name first.”
“Children are actually infinitely more respectful than these grown a** adults.”
“One morning, I was outside a hotel, and I was smoking.”
“This lady came outside and immediately asked, ‘How did you do to lose your leg?’”
“Mind you, it was like literally 6 am.”
“I said (verbatim): ‘You haven’t said good morning, hello, or even asked me my name, and yet you feel entitled to my medical history? Would you like that to happen to you?’”
“She started cussing me out and said that I was rude and a c*nt, etc.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITAH for saying this and feeling that was out of line?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. Next time someone asks that a good response is ‘How did you lose your manners?'” ~ Nalpona_Freesun
“Great answer. NTA.”
“Apparently, their parents didn’t teach them manners.” ~ TheResponsibleOne
“I’m a double amputee.”
“I usually just tell them they fell off.”
“My husband tells curious kids that I didn’t eat my vegetables.” ~ PomegranateReal3620
“A friend of mine is an amputee (lost his left leg after being hit by a car) and also a bartender.”
“One time, a customer of his was getting pretty hostile towards others, so this fool TAKES HIS PROSTHETIC OFF AND BEATS THE GUY WITH IT!!!” ~ adydrybones
“NTA. Next time, just say that you lost it in a fight after asking a stranger a personal question about their body.” ~ Minimum_Practice_716
“I broke my arm this summer and had a woman pop into my face and ask me what happened (while I was wearing headphones)!”
“My friend suggested I tell her I hurt it beating the last person who asked me that question.”
“I mean, I’m a dumba** who broke her arm trying to learn to roller skate in her late 30s, but most people who are seriously hurt don’t have a happy/silly story to tell people.” ~ MycroftNext
“Not only are you NTA, you’re an amazing person to be able to share this.”
“Consider reading Erving Goffman’s, ‘The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life.'”
“Interesting psychological analysis about people like yourself who have to put up with society’s rudeness.” ~ dronecarp
“Hey fam, I’m autistic.”
“I sometimes forget to greet people and get way too straight to the point.”
“It’s off-putting.”
“I might’ve accidentally done this if I saw you.”
“If you had told me off, I would’ve deserved it, maybe apologized, and tried to explain my disability and that I meant no harm and that you didn’t have to tell my nosy ass anything about yourself because I probably just blurted it out without thinking.”
“So even in the most charitable interpretation, I can give this woman her getting pissed at you was not the correct reaction, and you are NTA.” ~ Larry-Man
“NTA. She got angry because she was called out and embarrassed.”
“She’s projecting about her rudeness.” ~ Semi-On-Chardonnay
“My husband has an eye patch.”
“He has a brain tumor that has paralyzed his eye, and he prefers to cover it.”
“I cannot tell you how many people ask him what happened, and also if he’s a pirate or if his wife won the fight, etc.”
“Complete strangers. It’s horrible.
“You’re never the AH for wanting to keep things to yourself!” ~ deserae1978
“NTA. Definitely NTA.”
“I’ve never understood why people feel the need to ask personal questions about someone’s appearance or health problems.”
“Ditto pregnant women have to put up with strangers touching them and asking questions.” ~ Ok-Football6675
“NTA. Answer their question with a question.”
“‘What’s your bra size for women, or when’s the last time you had a prostate exam for men, for example?” ~ Tough_Fisherman_4604
“NTA. My type 1 diabetic husband gets asked all the time about his pumps and sensors, and it infuriates him.”
“Who raises these heathens to think it’s ok to just ask strangers about medical s**t?”
“It’s f**king weird.” ~ FutureOdd2096
“NTA. Wow, I truly had no idea that so many adults would be so rude.”
“Your response was perfect!”
“I suppose you could come up with an array of similar responses to point out their rudeness.”
“Perhaps a properly shocked expression and a…”
“Why do you think it’s OK to ask me such a personal question!?”
“I don’t sleep with strangers, or discuss my medical history with them either.”
“Didn’t your parents teach you any manners?”
“I lost my leg, not my manners.”
“I know exactly where I left it.”
“Or just stare at them in shocked silence, shake your head, sigh, and walk away.”
“You are not wrong, but since so many people are so rude, I suppose having some snotty replies ready might make you feel a little less awful when you encounter these AHs.” ~ Top-Entertainer2546
“NTA. It’s rude as heck to ask a complete stranger something so personal.”
“You have every right to say, ‘excuse me, but that’s none of your business.'” ~ Wild_Ticket1413
“NTA. First, I’m sorry this happened to you.”
“You are not a public educational display model, you’re a human being.”
“In the US, where I live, it violates the ADA, Americans with Disabilities Act, to ask invasive medical questions and to harass someone for refusing to disclose that information.”
“I have a disability and sometimes need a mobility aid, and anytime someone asks, I deflect with, ‘I’m sorry, you must achieve friendship level three before you can unlock event: tragic backstory!'”
“‘Your current status is: complete and total stranger!'”
“‘Please complete side quests and try again later!'”
“I still get angry people, but I usually end up with someone laughing.”
“Not the person I say it to, granted, but it’s a funnier way to humble nosy folks.” ~ Limerase
“NTA obviously.”
“And you have more patience than I do, because I’d have been making up stories about how I lost it due to getting the s**t beaten out of me by a stranger who was offended when I asked them invasive questions about their medical history.” ~ PurePerfection_
“NTA. She was rude. I have a keloid scar on the side of my neck that’s only about an inch and a half long, but obvious.”
“People have stopped me in the street to ask how I got it, so I can’t imagine how much that experience is multiplied for you.” ~ Regular-Message9591
“NTA. Sorry, you have to deal with that. I think a lot of people feel like those who are visibly different owe them an explanation for it, or that they’re entitled to have their curiosity satisfied.”
“It’s baffling to me that people like that exist, but unfortunately, they do.”
“Keep telling them to mind their own business.” ~ foozledaa
“NTA. I became visibly disabled in my mid-20s, so I’ve dealt with more than my share of this.”
“I got annoyed about it a lot faster than you did, lol.”
“My favorite response is something along the lines of ‘Lady, I don’t know you well enough to ask about your sex life, so you don’t know me well enough to ask about my medical record.’” ~ KaliTheBlaze
“NTA. People are so awful.”
“I can’t imagine going up to a stranger and asking them what happened to their arm, leg, or any other limb.”
“That is so rude.”
“I think your response was fine.”
“That woman who cursed at you was only angry because you called out her rudeness.”
“ETA: I was just looking at the other comments, and I came across the one suggesting you give people crazy and fake reasons for your amputation.”
“I think this is hilarious, and you should do that!” ~ DashfulVanilla
“NTA. People feel so entitled to the detailed histories and gory stories someone with a disability has, and it’s honestly so gross.”
“Like, go read TMZ if you’re looking for a juicy story.”
“Leave disabled people alone.”~ Aurora_Twinstar
“NTA. It’s super rude to ask that sort of thing, even if you’ve introduced yourself and made some small talk.”
“That’s a conversation for someone you know well enough to want to share the details of a traumatic experience with.” ~ AmorXanimo
“NTA. I recently broke my wrist and had the SAME crap happen.”
“No hellos, intros, etc., just walking right up to me with similar questions, and it got annoying real fast just in the couple weeks I had to deal with it.”
“I cannot imagine having to deal with this daily for a lifetime.”
“I would lose my patience as well!” ~ PilafiaMadness
Reddit has your back, OP.
This type of behavior is outrageous.
You have every right to speak up for yourself.
Shame on that woman.
Stay positive, and good luck.