Mom Of Two Called Out By Trans Brother-In-Law For Letting Kids Read Harry Potter Books

Content Warning: Trans Rights, Trans Ally, Harry Potter, JK Rowling

It's safe to say that we've all experienced that terrible feeling of realizing someone we thought we knew, trusted, and even looked up to didn't turn out to be the person we thought they were.

In fact, sometimes, they're pretty awful beneath the surface.

That was a feeling that many Millennials and Gen-Xers experienced when they realized JK Rowling's stance on LGBTQ+, and especially Trans, rights, despite the magical world of Harry Potter she had previously created, which many believed to be inclusive, cringed the members of the "Am I the A**hole?" (AITAH) subReddit.

The Redditor, who has since deleted her account, was among those Millennial readers who refused to continue supporting JK Rowling monetarily after her beliefs became public knowledge, but she still had a soft spot for the books she grew up with.

Using the copies she'd had since childhood, she decided to share the magical world of Harry Potter with her children, and the Original Poster (OP) stood by her decision when her Trans brother-in-law called her out for supporting stories written by someone who was actively against him.

She asked the sub:

"AITAH for telling my husband that I'm not going to throw away my Harry Potter books?"

The OP grew up with and loved the world of Harry Potter. 

"As any millennial kid, Harry Potter was literally my (32 Femail) childhood. I grew up with it."

"Obviously, I think JK Rowling is a disgusting and bigoted waste of both oxygen and space, but yeah, I love the books too much to actually part with them."

"What I have done, though, is not buy any new merchandise (all the movies are downloaded in my iPad already, and my books are the original ones I bought in the '90s; any other new materials that appear, I will rent from the library or buy secondhand)."

The OP also enjoyed sharing the stories with her children.

"My kids (8 Female and 9 Male) wanted to read the books, so I gave them my old hand-me-downs from the '90s, which are still in good shape."

"They are enjoying the books so far and love the series."

But the OP's Trans brother-in-law did not feel the same way.

"My husband's brother (29 Trans Male) recently came around to visit us, and he saw the kids reading the books."

"He took me aside and told me that he finds this problematic, and told me that the kids should at least know that by reading the books, they are endorsing a bigoted and hateful person."

"I reminded him that this was not new property and thus is not contributing to JKR's cause; these are my old hand-me-downs."

"He stormed out angrily and left."

The OP's husband sided against her, too.

"My husband then asked me if Harry Potter really is such an essential part of my life that I needed to push it on our kids too."

"I reminded him that they were the ones who asked me to give them the books, and that I would not throw these books away."

"AITAH?"

Fellow Redditors weighed in:

• NTA: Not the A**hole
• YTA: You're the A**hole
• ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
• NAH: No A**holes Here

Some empathized with the memories and nostalgia the OP felt for these books. 

"I'm a Millennial, and I remember when the books first came out."

"The books opened up the world of reading to millions of kids. I vividly remember our librarian telling my parents that they've seen more and more kids coming into the library, asking for the HP books, and then continuing to read more."

"What other book series had kids lining up outside overnight for the book release??"

"I remember placing a hold on the last book of the series, spending the entire day reading it, and crying d**n near the entire time because it was the last book in the series and an end to an era."

"As s**tty as JRK is, she can't touch those memories." - RU_screw

"NTA. It's possible to enjoy the works of the author while not supporting said author."

"Let's face it. By the time that we learned about JKR's attitudes on such things, the Harry Potter Series had been concluded. We had all seven books, and only relatively recently did she come out as a hateful person."

"So I don't think that it's a bad thing to have purchased the books when everyone knew her as a struggling mother trying to make money by telling a story. Hell, I still suggest people buy the books...just from second-hand stores and yard sales where she isn't getting the money."

"So no, you are not an a**hole." - Illegal-Avocado-2975

"You aren't even watching her new stuff or buying new stuff. It's just the old stuff. I've had to accept that s**tty people infect every element of media and entertainment. It's one thing not to support her, but it's still okay to like or want to share the old stories."

"They're literally about a child who is forgotten and unloved, and learning that he needn't be in the box he is assigned and how much he thrives when given the right box and the right support."

"JK Rowling doesn't understand or believe her own fiction, but that doesn't mean you and your children can't enjoy it." - GoddessBlushweaver

"NTA. This is like the post about the vegan roommate throwing away the OP's already purchased bacon: a senseless gesture accomplishing nothing positive at all."

"Everyone is free to believe what they wish about JKR and supporting or boycotting her. If you disagree with her politics, don't spend money on her franchise. But why deny yourself, or your family, the joy provided by the books you already spent money on?" - HoldFastO2

"I believe that the sharp backlash Rowling has received from a very large portion of the Harry Potter fanbase kind of shows how the books themselves do not promote her hateful ideas."

"There definitely are problematic things that look really bad now, given that we have more information about the author's views, but without that context, many of those things are nowhere near as obvious unless readers specifically look for them."

"Personally, I got a really strong pro-acceptance message from the books, and they probably helped instill the values in me that lead to me hating the public persona Rowling maintains today." - EpicCyclops

Others reassured the OP that there were ways to enjoy Harry Potter without supporting JK Rowling.

"Tossing out books you already own doesn't punish JKR, it just punishes your own kids who are enjoying a story and hurts our planet even more."

"It's like refusing to watch an old movie because you don't like the director now; what's done is done, and the art can still mean something separate from the creator."

"If you ever need more, just buy second-hand books from charity shops, so then the author gets nothing and a charity benefits." - TastyComfortable2355

"Go to a local library for the books as well. I dare OP's BIL to say something bad about supporting the library."

"JKR sucks, for lack of a better word, and we all know this, but Harry Potter is bigger than her and has touched many generations. It's not just for kids anymore."

"The fact alone that OP's kids want to read is a good thing, and it can encourage them to want to continue reading, which develops a healthy hobby to follow them as they get older. It's hard times out there for everyone right now, and with AI becoming more prevalent in the fiction space, we need the authenticity of books more than ever. Books are a good thing." - ausername_8

"When it's age-appropriate, have a discussion with kids about their heroes and influencers. It can only help them in the future. Like you can really like a friend but choose to walk away because they're toxic."

"Lots of Reddit posts about people who feel like walking away is against the rules. The point is getting all the info and making the right decision." - ViciousOtter1

"My 11-year-old recently started his first HP book, which we got from the library. I've been trying to get him into reading, which is an uphill battle in today's age bc we have social media and video games to compete against. He would read but not actually ingest the content he was reading."

"Like reading the words, but not the story. And I know from my own experience, what he needed was a page turner. Something he couldn't put down. Something that is so good, you accidentally became a fan of reading in the process of reading this book. Something so good that you're no longer focusing on 'how much more do I have to read?'"

"And instead, wishing the book would never end. And what better book to engage a young, reluctant reader? I will say that Brandon Sanderson has some great children's and YA novels. I haven't done any deep diving on him yet, though." - ImJustHere4TheCatz

"It's getting difficult to find some of my favourite SFF (Science Fiction and Fantasy) authors from the past that don't have problematic issues."

"I'm sure that if you Google a phrase like 'authors with problematic pasts' or 'authors with dark secrets' (even though they really aren't secret by now), you'll find any number from every genre out there."

"My rule of thumb is, 'Will my buying/watching this put money into an a**hole's pocket?' This means I won't throw out stuff I already own, but I won't buy more that could benefit a living author who has attitudes and opinions I despise."

"If the author is dead, I might see who benefits from their copyright and, especially if that person was someone who suffered at the author's hands (like their child(ren) who were abused), I might consider replacing worn-out copies with new." - Fibro-Mite

The subReddit understood what the OP was going through and why she might want to keep the memories and nostalgia alive, especially since it was something that her children were interested in.