There’s little that parents hate more than when their children get up to mischief behind their backs.
And things get particularly tense when children get caught red handed, not banking on the fact their parents might be home earlier than expected.
Something along those lines happened to Redditor AITAHomeAlone, though it wasn’t one of her children sneaking behind her back, but rather, her husband.
But concerned she may have overreacted towards his behavior, the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), asking fellow Redditors:
“AITA for how I reacted to my husband leaving the kids home alone?”
In a fairly concise post, the OP shared how she was recently forced to stay at work much later than she would have liked and came home to a shocking discovery.
“I (35 F[emale]) am the breadwinner of the house, and I had a very late night at work the other day.”
“I informed my husband (32 M[ale]) that I wouldn’t be home until 12:30, so he should get the kids to bed by himself (I have four children).”
“However, when I arrived home about a half-hour early, I saw that my two eldest sons (12M and 10M) were staying up watching television.”
“This wasn’t good, as tonight was a school night and they have a strict 10:00 bedtime.”
“I asked where hubby was and why he hadn’t put them to bed, to which they informed me that he had ordered them a pizza and left.”
“When he got back an hour later, I blew up at him and asked him where he went.”
“It turns out, the reason he abandoned our children was because he and his friends wanted to watch a basketball game.”
“Now when I heard this, I saw red and ordered him to get out of the house until he was ready to apologize.”
“He stormed out in an angry huff.”
“Recently my phone has been blowing up from his friends and some of his family saying that my eldest son was old enough to stay home alone and look after the other kids, so I’m wondering if I overreacted.”
“That’s why I’m turning the judgement over to you, Reddit.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believe the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
As far as Reddit was concerned, the OP was not at all the a**hole under these circumstances and had every right to be furious with her husband.
Some felt it would have been a different story had the father simply needed to pop out for a quick errand, but leaving them all alone for an extended period of time—all so he could go off and have fun with friends—was inexcusable.
“A 12 year old staying home alone by himself for half an hour while the guardian goes to the grocery store?”
“Not an issue usually.”
“But leaving a 12 year old watching 3 other kids at night in order to go watch a game?”
“Certainly a very bad idea.”-ChilindriPizza.
“The kids being old enough isn’t relevant.”
“If you leave a child in charge they need to have a clear plan in place of what to do /where to go in case of emergency.”
“He lied to the kids about where he was going, which was dangerous.”
“Also, did him getting pizza mean that he hadn’t fed the kids yet??”
“The dishonesty and sneakiness is the red flag more than the action itself, although that wasn’t great.”- EwokCafe.
“As a mom myself, I think you were justified in your reaction.”
“12 might be old enough to stay home alone, but is he responsible enough to be responsible for the three younger ones too? “
“I feel like leaving your children in the care of the eldest should at least be discussed with you beforehand.”
“He obviously knew you wouldn’t approve, and that’s why he didn’t mention it to you, just thought he’d be back before you and you’d never know.”
“Your husband sounds very immature.”- Thatchick420
“Your husband made a promise and broke it.”
“On top of that, he left four children at home alone.”
“The oldest being left alone without the others maybe wouldn’t have been such a big deal – still shitty, but possibly forgivable.”
“But leaving a 12 and 10 year old in charge of two kids under ten is so screwed up.”
“Anything could have happened! “
“I don’t blame you being so angry.”-gaydaryl.
But just about everyone wholeheartedly believed the OP that she had every reason to lose her temper, and it’s her husband who should be worrying about his behavior.
“NTA Don’t you love the ‘arm chair parents’?”
“He was sneaky, did it thinking he would be back before you and you would be none the wiser.”
“Adults talk about things.”
“He needs to make this right and get his flying monkeys off your back,:
“What a nice guy!”- olerndurt
“Don’t let them gaslight you into thinking you overreacted.”
“If he was going to leave the kids alone, he should have communicated with you.”
“It’s not up to him and his friends to decide that the oldest is old enough.”
“That’s a conversation between you and your husband, which didn’t take place.”
“It’s not wrong of him to want to watch a game but he didn’t go about it in a responsible way.”
“He literally abandoned the kids for a basketball game.”-Gatita-Mala.
“NTA, what the f*ck???”
“That is absolutely something you talk about before doing it – extensively – and I get the feeling he knew you’d never agree to it which is why he didn’t even give you a heads up before leaving.”
“One of those “begging forgiveness is easier than asking permission” situations to him, I guess.”-necromandie.
“NTA – your husband is supposed to be a father, not another child for you to run after.”
“Not leaving your kids home alone is parenting 101.”- Next-Lengthiness-534
“NTA – you asked him to put them to bed, he agreed and then literally left them home alone without you knowing?”
“I’d have kicked him out too and my kids are 11 and 14.”- kristinaEP.
“One parent doesn’t just get to decided the kid is old enough to leave alone without prior discussions.”
“Not to mention this was at nighttime, they were up past curfew on a school night, and he did it to watch a simple basketball game.”
“Also how old are the youngest 2 that the 12 yr old was left in charge of?”-Princess-Eilonwy.
Indeed, the lack of concern on the father’s part is fairly shocking to the point of distressing.
Here’s hoping for the sake of the family, he finds it in him to apologize for his behavior, to both his wife and children, and this will eventually become one unfortunate instance they’ll all be able to work past.