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Woman Livid After Husband Insists He Have No Responsibilities During His ‘Birthday Month’

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Not everyone feels the same about their birthday.

There are those who dread the arrival with each passing year, the older they get.

Others could truly take it or leave it, just another day on the calendar to them.

But then there are those who want to celebrate their birthday all year long, and will go to great lengths to extend the celebration.

Such was the case for the husband of Redditor Change-Ad9635.

Fearing she may not have been sensitive to how much his birthday meant to him and the ways he intended to celebrate, the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) asking fellow Redditors:

“AITA for calling my husband ridiculous and refusing to take the list of expectations he gave me for his [‘birthday month’]?”

The OP first revealed that her husband is about to celebrate a pretty special birthday, and his plans for it were anything but low-key.

“My husband is turning 30 next month.”

“It’s a big deal for him clearly and he wanted to rightfully be ‘pampered’ and feel special on this occasion.”

“But the thing is that he came up with a list and called it ‘birthday month expectations’.

“I didn’t know what that meant til he started reading the list out loud which consists of things he expects from throughout the entire month.”

The OP didn’t quite know what to make of her husband’s list of “expectations.”

“To give few examples:”

“A. He is not to be asked to do any type of chores or clean or cook for a month.”

“B. He gets to play with his xbox for hours on end without me interrupting or nagging him about it.”

“C. He is not to pay his part of rent this month.”

“D. He gets to go out with his friends whenever he wants.”

“E. He gets to skip any given workday and sleep in without being bothered to wake up to drive our son to school or do any emergency fixes.”

“In other words he wants a month long vacation and time off from his responsibilities as a partner and as a father.”

“I said are you being serious right now and he made a face and said  ‘oh no worries this will only last for a month [‘my birthday month’].”

“I called him ridiculous and said absolutely not I do not agree on anything on that list and said that his expectations for his birthday month was out of line.”

“Now I have to mention that we both work but I do the majority of household chores and the majority of our son’s care as well as the majority of rent, bills and internet payments and I can not afford to do what he’s expecting me to do because we’re struggling already and I need his help especially now.”

“Not for him to make demands.”

“He pitched a fit giving me grieve about how I’m being selfish towards his wants and that in my place he would’ve agreed to do all he could to make my …[‘Birthday Month’] the happiest month of the year for me.”

“I argued that birthday month is unheard of and just flat out ridiculous but he said that I don’t understand because his parents did this for him for years and so did his friends [he never told me], so as his wife I should be happy to do it as well.

But I declined and refused to take it and keep arguing about it but he hasn’t stopped talking about how disappointed he was that I treat his birthday like that and has been avoiding being near me making me feel like maybe I went too far here.”


Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they felt the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:

  • NTA – Not the A**hole
  • YTA – You’re the A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everybody Sucks Here

There was no doubt in the minds of fellow Redditors that the OP was in no way the a**hole in refusing to give in to her husbands demands.

Just about everyone was appalled by the childish, spoiled behavior of the OP’s husband.

“I would have just burst out laughing, told him ‘that was fun!’ and then ignored it all.”


“You’ve got more problems than a list.”

“Is he normally selfish, self-absorbed, lazy and otherwise unhelpful?”

“Call his mom and ask her if she has ever heard of this.”

“(Make sure he’s not around when you call).”- Unit-Healthy

“Yeah, did you say 30, or 13?”

“Tell your husband to act his age, grow up, be responsible and be grateful for the cake and ice cream he gets on his actual birthday NTA.”- Solrackai


“He isn’t serious, is he???”

“Or are you married to a 3 year old?”- yourlittlebirdie


“He’s looking to abandon responsibilities, not be pampered.”

“It’s very self centered and juvenile.”

“I hope he comes to his senses.”- BiTimbersFan

“Lol if I pulled that sh*t on my wife I’d expect divorce papers for my birthday present.”

“NTA.”- Mofukin_Irisden

“I’m sorry, did you marry a toddler?”

“Definitely NTA.”- hollyjazzy

“NTA – what he’s asking for is a free pass from life.”

“He’s an adult and has responsibilities that just don’t get be be neglected.”

“He’s the AH.”- mizfit0416

“I mean, my 30th birthday was a week of being waited on hand and foot.”

“Breakfast in bed every day, no cooking or cleaning.”

“Only some basic childcare for our youngest.”

“I had visitors nonstop, I didn’t even have to shower or get out of bed.”

“I mean I was hospitalized because I had just given birth and had complications and was attached to an IV and a new born but…”

“NTA.” -brainwashedbyscience.

Others were also in agreement that a month is far too long to prolong the celebrations of a birthday.


“He gets a DAY.”

“Maybe a weekend but not a sodding month!”- Fabulous-Housing102.


“As an adult you don’t get a ‘birthday month’ (month!? what kind of spoiled entitled sh*t is this?) or get to ignore your responsibilities for a month.”

“His request is so unrealistic and out of touch with reality.”- RedoubtableSouth.


“Tell him it’s his birthDAY, not birthMONTH.”- Responsible_Phase890.

NTA has he always been this way??? I would have zero tolerance for that nonsense.- sawta2112

Indeed, it is a little worrisome that any father would expect their wife wouldn’t have a problem with his ignoring their family and responsibilities for a month and expect her to take up the slack, birthday or not.

As several Redditors pointed out, it seems like there’s a much bigger issue that needs discussing between the OP and her husband.

Let’s just hope it all comes to a clean and happy resolution.

Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.