Destination weddings take intricate planning.
There is so much to do for any wedding, but a destination wedding involves many more details.
One of the biggest issues is guest count and attendance.
The cost per guest rises exponentially when people have to start flying places.
That's why each spot matters, and excess is usually cut.
Redditor Particular_Reply_886 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.
They asked:
"AITA? My +1 to my friend's wedding wants to bring her sister as her own +1?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"I was invited to a very expensive/exciting wedding in Lake Como this summer by my close friend from University, and as their wedding guest, I decided to invite my friend as my +1."
"Today, she texted me asking if she can bring her sister (essentially, I would have a +2)."
"I told her no."
"She then texted if I could at least ask the couple."
"I told her no, and that it was rude and inappropriate to ask."
"Out of anger, I also told her that she didn't have to come to the wedding herself if she didn't want to."
"She responded, saying, 'WTF is wrong with you?'"
"Her sister has never met the couple (doesn't even know who they are), and my +1 has only met them once."
"This is a small, intimate multi-day wedding, and each seat probably costs in the thousands to tens of thousands."
"I feel like I've been put in a very uncomfortable position."
"She doesn't understand why it's inappropriate and mentions that it's not like she wants me or the couple to pay for her sister, but obviously, her sister being there costs the couple thousands of dollars."
"I will say that I know she doesn't mean to ask as a way of trying to take advantage of me to get to an opportunity to get her sister to attend a once-in-a-lifetime wedding in Como."
The OP was left to wonder:
"AITA for thinking it's inappropriate to try and invite your sister to someone's wedding in Lake Como when you yourself are a +1 to begin with?"
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared that OP was NOT the a**hole.
"NTA. Honestly, I'd uninvite her as my +1 if she's going to act like that." ~ East-Relative2011
"I feel like this is the only logical option."
"She either thought she could use the OP as a free trip for her and her sister, or she's not comfortable traveling with OP alone and was hoping her sister would provide a cushion.'
"Either way, that's not who you want with you as a wedding date." ~ SplendidDogFeet
"Obviously. He's giving much more credence to his +1 than I would." ~ Honest_Series_8430
"Hell, she did OP a favor by showing OP how she thinks and acts."
"Cause seriously, I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone like that. Imagine thinking it's no big deal to invite others along to someone else's party."
"And it's not a little or small get-together."
"It's a major milestone event type party." ~ kawaeri
"Exactly this. The child has never learned etiquette, apparently."
"I wouldn't want to bring an unappreciative, rude a** like that to this special event." ~ Idkwhy8154
"NTA, but if OP doesn't uninvite her, it would become an ESH tending towards Y T A."
"No one needs that kind of main character AH at their wedding."
"OP, either get a new +1 that is not a selfish and rude AH and tell the couple you're bringing someone different – or if you can't find someone else who can make it just tell the couple that you won't now be bringing a +1 and say you wanted to let them know so they can offer the place to someone else." ~ Topinio
"Agree! The risk of taking someone who is so out of touch with the outrageousness of that ask is going to do/say something stupid at the wedding."
"The risk of taking them is high. I'd definitely find a new +1." ~ molotovmerkin
"NTA, that is so inappropriate, not sure I would even still want her as my +1." ~ robynxcakes
"Do OP and both potential +1s understand that usually the bridal couple does not provide air transportation or hotel stays?"
"Of course, if the bridal couple expressly invited you to bring a +1, that's fine."
"But each guest pays their own way except for specific events or meals that are laid out in advance."
"Also, the guests probably get a special group rate for the hotel that was negotiated by the bridal family.'
"In any case, if u were invited to bring a +1, that usually is reserved for a B[oy]F[riend] or spouse."
"Not usually just another friend." ~ Worldly_Sink_6286
"NTA, don't even invite her, she's gonna embarrass you, bro." ~ TaterTot8
"NTA. She is being opportunistic."
"While she is your friend, she sees this as a free trip and is using this as an advantage."
"Weddings are usually priced per person."
"At a place like Lake Como, between 100 and 400 euros per person for catering and beverages."
'Your 'friend and her sister' are the inappropriate ones."
"I'd go alone if I were you." ~ Soft_Remote_1511
"NTA. A plus one asking for a plus one is a new one for me."
"It is incredibly rude." ~ Odd_Task8211
"You need to find a new +1. Pronto."
"Her request is the most idiotic thing I've heard all day."
"And I've heard quite a few dumb things today. NTA." ~ LawyerDad1981
"NTA! If you are certain your +1 is not trying to take advantage here, then she is very naive and needs to grow up."
"She IS asking the couple to pay for her sister."
"That too, when the couple didn't even invite HER."
"Have a very straightforward conversation with her that you will not be bringing her sister with you, and do not ask the couple even because you are a guest and it's impolite for guests to ask for more privileges than what is already offered to them."
"Also, make it clear that she is ONLY allowed to join you if she does not spend the whole trip pouting about her sister not being there and NEVER brings this topic up in front of the couple!" ~ Sure-Owl-3820
"No, NTA. Tell her no, and if she thinks it's okay to ask stressed people stupid questions, maybe she shouldn't come to the wedding either."
"Maybe she'd be okay begging 10k off of people she's met once, but you think that's inappropriate, for obvious reasons."
"Do your close friend a favor and keep this madness away from them." ~ badpebble
"If she doesn't know why this is inappropriate, then you definitely invited the wrong person."
"She's obviously self-centered if she doesn't know why it would be wrong to ask.'
"I'd ask someone else." ~ Seahawk021
"NTA, seriously, WTF is your +1 thinking??"
"Also, why in the Twelve Hells would +2, literally a total rando as far as the wedding is concerned, want to actually GO to a complete stranger's wedding?"
"Ditch +1 and find someone who isn't a total nutbag to bring as +1, or go solo."
"Solo is far better than anchored to cray-cray." ~ T-Chunxy
"Your friend has absolutely no idea of how this works - which is... fine, I guess."
"Maybe nobody ever taught her."
"What's not fine is her pushing back on your 'no' and demanding that you ask the couple."
"I'm quite certain she'll behave inappropriately at the wedding and embarrass you in other ways; I think that uninviting her is your best option."
"You're obviously NTA, and hopefully, some of her other friends will tell her that she is behaving badly.'
"But if this ends the friendship, know that that's on her, not you." ~ Moose-Live
"Just out of curiosity, how old is this friend?"
"Cause she sounds ridiculous and very immature."
"You are NTA."
"If she just wanted to ask her sister to join your trip without attending the wedding (her and her sister paying for their own tickets and accommodation), it would make more sense."
"Not sure where you are flying in from... if it's a week-long trip overseas, then the wedding would only be one or two days out of it, I guess."
"And yeah, Lake Como is not a cheap place to have a wedding."
"Accommodations there are also much more expensive than in most places in Italy." ~ lndlml
"Why do these people want to go to the wedding of someone they don't know?"
"Because it's expensive and there is free food and drink?"
"I understand going as someone's +1 because you're dating and are a couple, but your +1's sister just wants a free party.
"That is utterly ridiculous." ~ Beyond_The_Pale_61
"NTA - it would be weird AF to invite ANYONE last minute to someone's wedding ANYWHERE!"
"My bridesmaid tried to add someone the night before to my very small traditional wedding in our city because she just happened to run into someone at a bar that we went to high school with."
"I was like, um, no!"
"We had to finalize numbers a week before, and I also had to tell my mom no more add-ons, and she paid 1/3 of it!"
"It just doesn't work that way unless it's a casual thing at someone's house." ~ vancomb
"NTA, I'd not bring her with me anymore as she'll totally ask the couple why she couldn't bring her sister to their wedding."
"Asking if her sister can come stay in the hotel with you and visit Como while you attend the wedding is one thing, but asking for a +1, where does it end?"
"Her sister's friend wants to join, so you need a +3 then her parents, grandparents?!" ~ Gullible_Bar_7019
"Tell your friend that a +1 does not get to invite a +1 of their own."
"That's not the way it works."
"If she can't understand that, tell her you'll just find someone who does. NTA." ~ CharmingCandidate308
"OMG. Ditch her, and I'll go!"
"NTA, of course." ~ Criseyde2112
Reddit is with you, OP.
Your friend is completely out of line.
It may be time you search for a new plus one.
Enjoy Italy!
