When we learn that our family members are having a hard time, we often like to help them out as best we can.
Sometimes, however, the help they ask of us could instead end up holding them back in the long run.
Then too, in some rare cases, we might discover that the family members we are trying to help out aren't as in need of our help as they let on.
Requiring us not to help them out, but instead, teach them a lesson.
The sister of Redditor Sad-Setting-9431 needed a little help getting on her feet and staying afloat.
Help the original poster (OP) was more than happy to provide.
However, upon learning that the OP had not been completely honest about her situation, the OP felt there was only one thing to do.
After being scolded by her parents, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole Here" (AITAH).
Unlike the similar "Am I The A**Hole" (AITA) subReddit, AITAH allows Redditors to ask for advice on issues that are not permitted on AITA, such as asking for advice or posting about ending relationships. Nor are voting acronyms required or a final judgment declared.
The OP asked fellow Redditors:
"AITAH for kicking my little sister out of my house because I got sick of her?"
The OP explained why they felt there was no other choice but to show their younger sister the door:
"Some background, 6 years ago my sister (21 F[emale]) asked if she could live with me (26 F) because I was close to the college she studied at and I had a spare bedroom in a 3 bedroom home."
"She mentioned at the time she wouldn't be able help with the bills."
"She worked part time min wage and all her money goes towards her car note."
"At the time I didn't mind and wanted to help so I welcomed her with open arms."
"Fast forward 5 years later, she's now 26, out of college, been working as a nurse for over a year, but still lives with me."
"Asked her about her future plans and she tells me she needs a bit more time to get back on her feet as she's apparently 'struggling' due to her student and auto loan."
"I thought that was strange because she eats out almost everyday, buys crap from amazon all the time, buys countless kpop albums and goes to concerts."
"But you know what, fine."
"I'll give her benefit of the doubt."
"She has a bf (35 M[ale]) that maybe helps pay for it all."
"I suggested she at least help with some bills if she's staying."
"Maybe pay for the internet as she's always on her computer playing her mmos or watching kdramas when she's home."
"I'm not asking for much."
"I do well on my own."
"But now that she has a job as a nurse, I want her to at least start pulling her weight in some shape or form."
"She can't do that, because again, she can barely afford her student and car loan."
"What really started to set things off was an old cast iron skillet she ruined after she put it in the dishwasher."
"I was mad and demanded she fix or replace it."
"She refused and says I'm overreacting over an honest mistake."
"It's just a pan."
"It was little stuff like it that kept piling on."
"Her leaving the bathrooms a mess."
"Leaving the kitchen a mess."
"She refused to do a single chore except wash her own clothes and fix her bed."
"Her excuse, she's too tired after working the graveyard shift."
"Ok."
"Fine."
"I let it go each time because the attitude she gives me is not worth the headache."
"Then one day, frustrated after my sister messed up my washing machine (she decided to wash a bunch of her shoes and boots and claims it was already broken )."
"I went to my dad to vent and ask for advice on how to navigate the situation."
"I bring up that my sister's car and student loans during the conversation and my dad gave me a confused look."
"Then he tells me that he and my mom have been paying for those the entire time?"
"Not only that, I find out from my sister's bf that he doesn't really pay for her lifestyle either."
"In fact they take turns footing the bill whenever they go out and that he's been trying to get her to cut back on her spending on Genshin Impact and kpop."
"I was infuriated."
"I confronted my sister about all of it but then she just gives me the same attitude like always and tells me to relax."
"That I'm blowing it all out of proportion."
"I tell her either go live with your bf or start paying me rent if you want to keep living with me."
"She goes 'why do I need to pay you rent when all I do is stay in my room and sleep'. You make a lot of money. It shouldn't be a problem'."
"I was seeing red at that point and yelled at her to get out of my house and gave her 2 weeks to clean out her bedroom or I'm throwing all her stuff out."
"My mom and dad heard about it now they are pissed at me saying I went overboard."
"That I should be nicer and let her stay because she's my little sister."
"My relatives also found out and I've been painted as the villain."
"Now here I am unable to sleep because of it."
"AITAH?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in, with some using the voting acronyms:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**Hole for kicking her sister out of her house.
Everyone agreed that the OP lost her privilege for help, and that her parents needed to stop enabling her:
"Girl why are you even posting this?"
"Obviously NTA."- rheannahh
"NTA and it's so kind and refreshing of your family to open their home to her."
"Tell them you'll pass on their names to little sister to move in with."- eldarwen9999
"NTA."
"Your parents are pissed because they're the next caretakers for her."
"She's been taking advantage of you for years."
"Honestly, YTA for letting it go this long."
"She should've been out years ago."- TBvunza98
"She's a spoiled brat ~ tell your family members this is their opportunity to house her and be blessed with her presence!"
"You could also add you need a roommate to help with your bills due to replacing your washer, etc."
"You can no longer afford to be so generous."- Suitable-Lawyer-9397
"You didn't go overboard, your sister has had it very easy until now."
"Your parents are enabling this bad behaviou, and unless you get her out, she won't grow up and become more responsible."
"Stick to your guns, don't let them pressure you into backing down, and as soon as she's gone get your locks changed, tell your neighbors she no longer lives there, and sit down and figure out how much you want from a new roommate, and get yourself a new roommate."- Oellaatje
The OP later returned with an update, sharing where things currently stood with her sister, as well as with her parents:
"My sister hasn't come back since I kicked her out."
"No replies on messages and my calls go straight to voicemail when I try to call her."
"As far as I know, she's still staying with her bf and his parents."
"He came over on the weekend to pick up her things and I gave him the formal notice."
"I pray I won't have to do anything beyond that."
"It makes me a little anxious not hearing a single word from her."
"Tried talking to my parents into cutting her off financially but they're still not having it."
"As for the rest of my family, I'm tired."
"I've always been the disappointment despite my successes so idk why I keep wasting my energy trying to please everybody."
"I finally went on a blocking spree as recommended by a bunch of you and stepped off social media for a few days to give myself peace of mind."
"Anyway I really didn't expect this post to gain this much attention."
"I was in a really bad headspace that night and needed to get sh*t off my chest hoping people tell me I did the right thing before I ended up really losing it."
"I'm still feeling heartbroken about it all because I really do care about my sister and still want a close relationship with her."
"I'm feeling waaay better now nonetheless so thank you everyone so much that's been kind supportive and giving me helpful tips."
It sadly seems like the OP's sister refuses to take any responsibility for any of her actions.
Even sadder is that the OP's parents don't seem to think this is a problem.
The OP had the good sense to make it clear to her sister that she will one day have to take control of her own life.
One can only imagine that once her parents get tired of footing every bill, they will feel encouraged to do the same as well.
