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Redditor Ejects Sister’s Rude Boyfriend From Family BBQ For Insulting The Menu Options

Men drinking beers and grilling kebabs.
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When people invite guests into their home, they usually go out of their way to be hospitable.

Even if they might be hosting someone who they normally wouldn’t choose to spend time with.

However, some people believe that hospitality has to be earned, and should only be bestowed upon people who display gracious behavior when being hosted.

As a result, when people don’t display courteous or gracious behavior, they might find themselves unwelcome in certain people’s homes.

Redditor Silly_Emu9279 and their wife recently hosted a large, family barbecue.

Among the guests were the original poster (OP)’s sister and her new boyfriend.

Their appearance at the barbecue was relatively brief, however, as after the boyfriend of the OP’s sister displayed some less-than-polite behavior, the OP less-than-subtly suggested that they were no longer welcome in their home.

Worried that they might have gone too far or over reacted, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:

“AITA for saying ‘just leave’ at my cookout?”

The OP explained why they were compelled to kick their sister and her boyfriend out of their cookout:

“My sister Nicole (34) brought her new boyfriend, Steve, to our family cookout yesterday.”

“It’s for about 30 people.”

“For the sides, everyone brought in sides; my sister brought one bag of store-brand potato chips, and Steve helped himself to beer right away before being introduced to everyone.”

“We are having hamburgers and hot dogs and just hanging out with the family.”

“It’s nothing fancy.”

“Steve asks, ‘Is this it?’ when the first plate of hot dogs is done and waiting on the round of hamburgers.”

“My wife says there will be hamburgers soon, and Steve tells my wife and sister about his family and how they have ‘BBQ chicken, steak, shrimp, and many options’.”

“I picked up the plate of hotdogs and told Steve he could leave and go to his family BBQ instead.”

“He just looked at me and drank his beer, and I told him and my sister to go since this wasn’t good enough for Steve.”

“I gave my sister store-brand photo chips back and told her to get out.”

“My sister and Steve left, and the cookout was fine after that.”

“My mom heard about me kicking them out and was mad at me and told me to apologize to my sister.”

“Maybe there was a misunderstanding, but Steve was just an a**hole commenting like that at someone’s house and the first time you meet their family.”

“My wife thinks I was right because Steve acted like that in her home, and insulting the host is a good reason to be kicked out.”

“Others are split about 50/50 when they heard about what happened.”


Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:

  • NTA: Not the A**hole
  • YTA: You’re the A**hole
  • ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
  • NAH: No A**holes Here

The Reddit community was somewhat divided on whether or not they were the a**Hole for kicking Steve and their sister out of their barbecue.

Most agreed that the OP’s boyfriend’s rude behavior did not merit a place at the table:


“Why would you put up with this nonsense at your own home?”

“I don’t understand anyone who thinks you went too far.”

“Do they think this jacka** would have stopped at just 1 comment?”

“Hell, no.”

“As host, you ensured your other 30 guests wouldnt be subjected to entitled, passive aggressive bullsh*t.”-  rationalboundaries


“They brought a bag of chips, drank beer they didn’t provide, and thought you were cheap?!?”

“Rude, entitled, and deserved the treatment they received.”

“Anyone who thinks you were wrong can invite them to their next party.”- SheiB123


“If you want food like steak, shrimp and chicken at a cook out funded by someone else, you better fkn prepare it and bring it to cook on the grill yourself.”- TheFoxRuntOfficial


“‘Mom, you’re more than welcome to let (sister’s name) boyfriend insult you in your home, but he won’t be doing it in mine’.”- wykkedfaery33

“Short, sweet, and to the point; I like it.”

“May be considered an act of a**holery, but certainly justified.”

“NTA.”- Plenty_Carrot7973


“That guy was rude as hell.”

“I’m always amazed at people who are invited over to someone’s home and then complain about free food.”- jenorama_CA


“I’ve had to do this at a dinner party.”

“I told an ex friend to take her boyfriend & leave because he clearly hadn’t been house trained well enough given that he felt comfortable insulting a host in their own home, in addition to showing up uninvited and leaving piss all over my bathroom floor.”- Left_Adhesiveness_16


“If they wanted it to be more than that, maybe they should have brought more than a bag of chips.”- November-8485

“How refreshing is to find someone with a healthy spine here.”

“Absolutely NTA.”

“Tell your mom you have nothing to apologize for.”- WorkInPr0g

“The only time I met my BIL’s wife’s father at their family outing, he greeted me by said, ‘Oh, look. Another a**hole that married into (my husband’s and BIL’s) family’ with a great big grin on his face.”

“We turned around and left immediately.”


“Some people just need are harsh lesson if they can’t behave in public.”- Mental-Coconut-7854


“Steve is a jerk and your sister should dump him yesterday.”- thechaoticstorm

“Thing about a first Impression: you only get one.”

“And Steve made his.”

“NTA.”- tonytown


“They went to absolute minimal effort themselves and then insulted you.”

“I would have kicked them out too.”

“If you don’t treat people with basic respect and common courtesy, you will get zero in return.”-theantnest

Others, however, didn’t think Steve or the OP came off looking particularly good, agreeing that Steve’s behavior was unacceptable, but it wasn’t fair for the OP to kick their sister out, also finding their looking down at her bringing potato chips a tad snobbish, after they declared this wasn’t a “fancy” occasion:


“Why tf are you punishing your sister?”

“She didn’t do anything wrong.”

“The BBQ was nothing fancy.”

“Your own words.”

“Bringing a bag of store bought chips to a casual family BBQ is completely acceptable, especially when everyone else is bringing something too.”

“He grabbed a drink before being introduced to people.”


“Is it required etiquette at a casual family BBQ to wait to be introduced to everyone before grabbing a beverage to sip on?”

“Was the beer not for everyone to drink anyway?

“You called him out for his rude behavior and he stopped.”

“That should have been the end of it.”

“There was no need to be a hot head and kick both him and your sister out after he stopped.”

“Yeah, it looks like cool justice on Reddit but the real world doesn’t function on reddit justice.”

“Many of guests were upset by what you did as well.”- IncomeSeparate1734

“ESH, you went to code red too quickly.”

“And you kicked your sister out too — thats why Im saying ESH.”

“She was not rude, he was.”

“Yes, he was rude.”

“but for your sisters sake, you could have been more diplomatic about it, and given him a little more rope.”

“You dont need to accept rudeness in your face, but you didnt need to escalate it immediately to get out.”

“You could throw his rudeness back in his face with something like:”

“‘Well, you could always head to your family if you’re not happy here, or you could try to act like a grown up with us here’.”

“‘Your choice’.”

“If he shapes up, OK, learning moment for adult Steve.”

“If he continued to be an AH, then you coulda escalated it and kicked him out.”

“This way, it also allows your sis to see Steve in action.”

“To see if he can improve when confronted with his own rudeness, or if he is 100% full time all the time AH.”- These-Target-6313

While a few felt that it was the OP’s. job to be hospitable, as well as the bigger person, and felt kicking Steve and his sister out after one rude remark was way too much too soon.

“I mean… kinda.”

“I think OP might be a bit of a jerk.”

“I don’t know any about the finances of you sister… but she did contribute.. it may not have been as much of or what you expected her to bring but she did bring something, just like everyone else.”

“You could have spoken with your sister in private and asked what’s up and explained that what Steve said was rude and/or you could have spoken to him yourself and said the same thing.”

“He may have been an a-hole in that moment to you, but you stooped right down to his level all the same.”

“Who knows what expectations your sister drummed up in his head either.”

“There are just to many unknowns here but I would lean toward YTA.”- ofcuriousnature

When invited to anyone’s home and being provided free food and drink, complaining about what you’re being served is one of the absolutely worst things you could do.

Especially if the home in question is the family of your new partner.

Something that, rather shockingly, didn’t appear to faze Steve one bit.

Even if kicking Steve out of the barbecue might not have been the best call, rude behavior deserves to be called out.

Let’s just hope the OP’s relationship with their sister isn’t too badly affected by this less than happy reunion.

Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.