Lesbian Asks If She Went 'Too Far' In Mocking Coworker For Calling Her A Homophobic Slur

The workplace is meant to be a safe place.

But time and time again that is proven to not be true.

There is prejudice, racism, misogyny and homophobia everywhere.

So one has to find a way to deal and clap back a bit.

Case in point...

Redditor myJobSucksA** wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

"AITA for mocking a homophobic guy at work, and maybe taking it too far?"

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

"I work in a male dominated workplace, and I'm a lesbian."

"I'm a pretty f**king obvious lesbian too, like not to be a stereotype but I work a trade job, have buzzed hair, lift, fish and camp, and like working on cars."

"My nails are short as hell and I wear my keys and multitools on a belt carabiner."

"And I'm out at work, like it's no secret."

"Now, in a normal workplace I'm sure the advice here would be to go to H[uman] R[esources] about the kinda s**t I'm about to describe."

"But I'm just getting this out of the way first, my job's got no HR, and if you think management is gonna do anything about sexism and homophobia?"

"They're the ones doing the worst of it."

"I've had more luck asking the guys on my level to go tell the management to cut their bigoted s**t out than vice versa honestly."

"I'm so lucky to have a great team that treats me like one of the crew and has my back."

"Like these guys will talk s**t if I do some dumb s**t, but they'll never talk s**t about my sexuality or me being a girl."

"It's not the same across the whole job though, there are some people who are genuinely just really bigoted."

"I'll call the guy I'm talking about here Robert because that's his name."

"Yesterday, Robert said that he heard around the shop that I was a (slur for gay person) in front of my coworkers."

"I decided to have a bit of a laugh at him, and went 'Did you just call me a (slur)... What the hell man? I'm straight.. Who the f**k told you I'm an (even worse slur)?'"

"A lot of my coworkers were holding back a laugh because they all know I'm 100% gay, and doing a bit."

"He started getting evasive and didn't tell me anyone's name, so I just started going 'I'm a Christian! I have a wonderful husband! And it's real f**ked up you're making s**t up!'"

"He started to backtrack, saying all he asked was if I was a lesbian (Which wasn't even true).'"

"I was like 'For real man, who even told you I'm ... That?'"

"And he said Will, another guy who I know is kinda a bigoted old fool."

"So then I go 'Oh, for f**ks sake, of COURSE it was Will...'"

"'You can't even get caught f**king ONE guy's mom... (Pauses to count on fingers) ... OK, A guy's mom... Without getting called a freaking lesbian nowadays.'"

"At that point most of my coworkers cracked up, and Robert was catching on that it was an elaborate setup for a 'your mom' joke and he got angry asking if I was mocking him."

"I was like "F**kin' took you long enough! Like seriously, you should of noticed I was fruity years ago, when I kept coming over your mom's house at night.'"

"He stormed off cussing me out and I felt kinda like I had a good laugh but also kinda like I went a little too far."

"I also don't feel great about making kinda misogynist jokes."

"It's something that definitely gets me respect at work, if I can s**t talk back instead of being a pushover, and if I end up being cruder than anyone else, but it also felt a little icky?"

"AITA for making fun of a homophobic guy at work?"

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

"NTA. If he wants to dish it out he'd better be able to take it."  ~ NoPhone4571

"Omg, I misread the title as 'mocking a homosexual' and thought of course you are, then read that you are a lesbian, and thought maybe you had a point."

"When finally the fog in my head dispersed, you kicked his a**, and had every right to. NTA!!"  ~ Justanothersaul

"NTA! And good for you!"

"He tried to humiliate you, don't feel bad for a second you were able to turn it around and give him a taste of his own medicine."  ~ Bulky_Kiwi959

"It's exactly like this."

"My bestie is petite 5'2 and 110 pounds and she is qualified truck and trailer mechanic and she had always had a nice shiny spine before she got into her field but she learned fast that you needed it."

"It's a damn shame these place don't have an HR like offices."

"But once you earn your spot in the shop like OP mentioned your coworkers rally around you and your boss is usually the ass you're dealing with."

"Good on OP she didn't go too far he can dish out slurs no problem but he cant take the shop ribbing when he's being rude?"

"He probably shouldn't be in a trade."  ~ GundamGirl94

"First of all, I f**king love you. NTA."

"I also work in a blue collar job."

"I'm not a lesbian, but male dominant workplace and I get f**ked with all day everyday also."

"Total company about 50 people, and there's 5? females I'd say."

"Anyways, blue collar is very much a place where you're going to get screwed with for anything and everything so you better be able to take it and hopefully you're good at giving it right back to them."

"Clearly this guy can't really take the s**t."

"He should grow some thicker skin if he wants to stay in this line of work or just take his snowflake ass somewhere else."

"I'd say you handled this situation perfectly."

"Sometimes little d**ks need to be reminded of their little d**ks."  ~ Investment_Warm

"What kind of (really unkind words) (words that would likely be inappropriate for this sub) (words that might get banned or thread locked up) is this guy?"

"I mean if that's the culture there, he can't take a 'your mom' joke?"

"At this point I'm just disappointed. Get out man."

"Can dish crap but can't take it. NTA."  ~ tango421

"There are two types of men who are afraid of gay people: Those who are afraid gay men will treat them the way they treat women, and those who are afraid they'll like it."

"And neither of them like having to take back what they dish out."

"OP: NTA. You're hysterical and awesome."  ~ PoisonPlushi

"NTA. You could have made a scene at the first moment he used a homophobic slur."

"But you took your time to set up a 'your mom' joke. Respect."

"Also, enough words and explanations!"

"It's 2022, almost 2023."

"If people choose to be homophobic today, it's their fault and they deserve the mockery."  ~ KakashiOfSenseiClan

"NTA. Seems like that sort of humor is par for the course in that particular work environment."

"I mean obviously that would get you in trouble in like a corporate office job, but you know that."

"You also know that relying on misogynistic humor is not the super mega coolest thing in the world."

"But you're just fitting in with a culture that's already there, and if any of the people there were likely to be meaningfully hurt as a result of that kind of humor, it would most likely be you yourself."

"So as long as that read is right, that that's just the kind of gruff humor your workplace has, I think you're just fine."  ~ MutatedSpleen

"NTA. Look, he came at you like a homophobic bigot."

"But ran off when you made a 'your mom' joke."

"Is it the classiest or nicest joke? No."

"Is it a language that this a**hole clearly understands and will it maybe get him to leave you alone?"

"Also yes. Sometimes you have to speak their damn language."  ~ Hazel2468

"As a fellow woman in the trades, NTA."

"The s**t that comes out of some men's mouths is indescribable sometimes."

"And if they can't take it just because it's coming from a woman's mouth instead, f**k em."

"Our industry isn't the place for the thin skinned or easily offended."

"And I don't know why he was acting all weird that you're a lesbian, I'd wager about 70% of the women I've worked with in my union are."

"Any dude in the trade should be used to it by now."

"For what it's worth, I'm straight, but have absolutely told really awful guys things like I get more pussy than they do or that their gf/wife was great, but she needs to stop calling."

"Hell, I break out modified Shoresy quotes sometimes (really, you should look up Shoresy from Letterkenny on YouTube, you'll be set with some AMAZING one liners and comebacks)."

"You gotta say and do what's necessary to put the schmucks in their place and get along with the rest."  ~ I_DRINK_ANARCHY

"NTA. F**k the bigots and the bigoted horses they rode in on."

"Also, I loved this line: 'I'll call the guy I'm talking about here Robert because that's his name.'"  ~ poeadam

Well OP, sounds like Reddit sees you as a hero.

You stood up for yourself and used a dash of humor to do it.

Maybe you should be the head of HR for your company.

Good luck.