Why do some people feel so entitled to choose how to raise and care for other people’s children?
This is where unsolicited parenting advice stems from, but more dangerous actions can, as well.
One couple recently felt violated on their daughter’s behalf on the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
According to Redditor no_wayout_, he and his wife weren’t sure whether to limit his parents’ visits or cut them off entirely because of it.
But because of pushback from the family, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if he and his wife were overreacting.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for not wanting our daughter left alone with my parents anymore after they did something w/o (without) permission?”
The OP and his wife made a personal decision in how they’d parent their daughter.
“Me and my fiancee (22 [male] & 23 [female]) had our baby girl Thalia and she just turned 9 months old. Everyone in our family has been coming around more to see her.”
“Two months ago we stopped talking to my parents after they pulled some s**t.”
“We basically decided it was gonna be up to Thalia when she older if she wants to get her ears pierced.”
“Tbh (to be honest) I was never into the idea of it being done as a baby when they can’t consent, like my fiancée’s parents pierced her ears when she was a baby and she always hated wearing earrings. Still doesn’t wear any.”
But the OP’s parents did not agree.
“Just like every other parent that was our decision not to do it to her while she’s a baby.”
“My parents didn’t shut up about it for a while saying ‘she’d look so cute.'”
“But we told them already no and that’s our answer.”
The OP’s parents didn’t listen, though.
“When they babysat for us once, they got one of my mom’s friends to do it (to pierce Thalia’s ears) and we were f**king p**sed they went behind our backs.”
“We stopped talking to them after that for disrespecting our decision.”
“Everyone was saying we were making a big deal and we can’t cut them out their granddaughter’s life over something like that.”
The OP and his wife decided to change tactics slightly.
“So we decided they’re allowed to only see Thalia when one of us is around and they won’t be left alone with her.”
“That’s where everyone is still saying we’re being massive a-holes because we’re still punishing them over something that’s not a big deal and we’re treating them like children.”
“Even my fiancée’s parents think that only letting them have supervised visits is too much and they should be allowed to babysit or have Thalia at their place alone like before.”
“We’re still not wanting to change our minds on our conditions so it’s pinning everyone against us.”
“Are we being a**holes that we just don’t trust them alone with her and rather one of us be there always?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in by declaring: