Guy Wants To Install Lock On Bedroom Door While Girlfriend's Mom And Stepdad House Sit

When you're a pet owner, you're responsible to make sure your four-legged friends are taken care while you're away on trips.

Fortunately for a guy and his girlfriend who have two cats, they can go away for a months-long vacation taking comfort in the fact that his girlfriend's mom and stepdad were going to be house-sitting.

But when his idea to avoid specific sleeping arrangements made him feel guilty, he visited the "Would I Be the A**hole?" (WIBTA) subReddit to seek judgment from strangers online.

There, Redditor Guilty-Loquat-2153 asked:

"WIBTA if I put a lock on my bedroom door so my GFs mother can't sleep in our bed?"

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

"My girlfriend (F[female] 27) and I (M[ale] 30) are going on holiday in a few months and her mother (F[female] 60s) and stepfather (M[ale] 70s) have agreed to come and babysit our 2 cats (M[ale] 1.5&F[emale] 1.5)."

"Her mother has said that they will need to use both the spare room bed and our own bed when they stay as they can't share a queen sized spare bed for 1 week as they'll 'not be able to sleep in the same bed together all week' blaming the bed size."

The OP continued:

"My GF has unhappily agreed to keep the peace but it's making me very uncomfortable they'll be using our bed. WIBTA if I put a lock on our bedroom door just before we go away so they can't use it?"

"Extra info that may/may not be relevant: My girlfriend's mother lives about 3 hours away visits every few months, but the step dad has never been before. Before we had the spare bed she would happily sleep on the quite comfortable sofa and we mainly got the spare bed for her visits." 

"Although I know they are doing us a big favour by looking after the cats they were intending to use it as a mini holiday. The mother does not always sleep in the same bed as her stepfather as they both wake each other up snoring and he is now getting some medical issues meaning he has frequent toilet trips in the middle of the night."

Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA - You're The A**hole
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
• NAH - No A**holes Here

Many Redditors didn't look at the OP's plan favorably, and they voted "You're the A**hole" (YTA) or "You Would Be the A**hole (YWBTA).

"YWBTA."

"If this arrangement makes you uncomfortable, find a different arrangement like a paid pet sitter."

"It's okay to have boundaries but you're in choosey beggar territory because you want to set the rules without giving anything up. Installing a lock instead of setting a boundary is too much. If you don't trust them to stay out of your bed because you asked or you can't work up the nerve to ask and set that boundary, you shouldn't be accepting this help."

"FWIW, I follow my own advice on this. We always paid a cat sitter or boarded our cat because the family options, while available and generously offered, weren't something I wanted to deal with." – thefanciestcat

"THIS! + They are willing to help you out and are sharing what they need in return to extend this favor. To wait until the last minute to screw them on a specific request is REALLY AWFUL. You want all of the benefit, but aren't willing to compromise?"

"I get it. My husband and I travel and HAVE TO have someone sleep in our home with our pet when we are gone. Like you, I hate for them to be in our bed. Buy extra mattress liners, sheets, bedding, pillows that you can change out and be grateful you have someone helping you."

"Yes, you WBTA!" – Ok-Horror-1049

"YTA Don't try to sneak this in, be an adult and communicate with words to your inlaws."

"Just change the sheets and wash them, you'll be sleeping in a hotel bed on your trip, it's the same damn thing...."

"They can't sleep together due to snoring and medical issues, they aren't purposely misusing your bed."

"If you have a personal hangup about your bed, then you'll have to talk about it with your partner too and be on the same page." – thenord321

"YTA if you give them no warning and just leave the door locked. There may well be more conversation to be had re: sleeping arrangements, but if you let them believe there will be two beds for them and then let them find out that's not the case when they get to your place, that'd be a major AH move." – BigBigBigTree

"YTA. They're doing you a huge favor and you haven't given any good reason why you're so creeped out by her mom sleeping in your bed when you're not even at home. If you want to make rules like this, hire a pet sitter. " – JeepersCreepers74

"YTA. This is not how you go about this. If you don't want her sleeping in your bed, you put on your big boy/girl pants and tell her, before she commits to coming over for a week."

"This may result in her not coming, and you needing to find alternate pet sitting arrangements. But you can't tell someone ok only to make it impossible (by adding a lock) once they get there." – Tanyec

"YTA. Her condition for watching your cats is that she has access to both bedrooms. Your GF agreed. If you lock the door, she would be well within her rights to leave. Either accept her terms or hire a catsitter. " – thetinymole

"YTA My husband has issues with this kind of thing too but I tell him he has to suck it up if people are doing us a favour. I put on a new mattress protector and sheets, and have guest doonas and pillows to swap in for our personal ones. Put away personal stuff and you're sorted." – Unlucky-Meringue6187

"YWBTA if your girlfriend already agreed to allow them to use your bed. Tell them up front you be changed your mind about the bed but be prepared for them to change their mind about helping." – Electrical_Ad4362

"So they are watching your cats for a week for free and you're going to lock them out of the bedroom knowing that doesn't work for them. YTA 100% Find a paid pet sitter." – celticmusebooks

"YWBTA. They are taking care of your cats at your request. What is the big deal about them using your bed? You can change the sheets and wash them after they use them! If you are worried about the stepdad having toilet issues, you can buy a waterproof mattress protector - they are inexpensive." – jindoowner

"YTA."

"If this makes you uncomfortable, hire a paid pet sitter for the week. Asking your GF's mother and stepfather to do this for free, then locking them out of the second bed when you've been told they need it due to snoring/medical issues makes you an AH."

"It's perfectly fine if you don't want someone sleeping in your bed. But don't get to both cheap out and ask them for a week of free cat sitting and also be stingy and not provide enough beds when they've specified how many they need to do you this favor. " – dragonsandvamps

"YEA YWBTA."

"You're asking 2 SENIOR people to do you a favor by watching your cats while you're gone. They each need a comfortable place to sleep and it's part of their normal routine that they don't share a bed. If they are staying in your home, to do you a favor, you'll need to accommodate them."

"If you are unwilling to accommodate their needs, don't ask the favor. Easy peasy!" – KBD_in_PDX

"YTA. Admittedly, some of this is bias, because I cannot for the life of me imagine how you look at elderly relatives, of whom you have asked a favour, and say 'No, I know you've got sleeping issues but you can't use the bed.' I don't get a lot of the 'no one else sleeps in my bed' fervor anyway, but sure, under perfect circumstances, you don't want other people sleeping in your bed."

"What are you going to do if they show up, see the lock, and get offended and leave? What are you going to do if you leave and they break the lock and sleep in the bed anyway?"

"The simple fact of the matter is that they have made clear that the 'cost' of them coming to cat-sit is that they get to use the bed. If you don't like that, then you don't have to have them come cat-sit. Find someone else, someone who will limit themselves to the spare bed only and leave yours alone." – rockology_adam

Overall, Redditors admonished the OP for not having the backbone to speak up about his concern and going about a sneaky way to to deal with it.

They also thought the OP was being unreasonable considering the fact that there's a medical issue involved, and that washing the bedsheets after being used by the girlfriend's mom and stepdad is not a huge deal.

What are your thoughts on the situation? Do you think the OP was shady? Would you have dealt with the concern differently?