Ultimately, we are the only ones who have any say as to what we do with our bodies.
Unfortunately, that doesn’t stop others from sharing their opinions on certain decisions we might make regarding our bodies, such as hairstyles, tattoos, and piercings.
While everyone is, by all means, entitled to have an opinion, that doesn’t give them the right to have a say as to what others should and shouldn’t do when it comes to their physical appearance.
A recent Redditor had been supportive of his wife’s decisions when it came to her body.
However, the original poster (OP) was less than thrilled when his wife recently announced a new idea she had.
When the OP expressed his lack of enthusiasm to his wife, she didn’t take too kindly to his opinions.
Wondering if he was out of line, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for not being cool with my wife’s underboob tattoo idea?”
The OP explained why he and his wife found themselves at odds over her latest tattoo plans:
“My wife (32 F[emale]) and I (34 M[ale]) have been married for 5 years, pretty solid relationship, lots of love, the whole shebang.”
‘She’s always been into tattoos, has this sick half-sleeve that really suits her, and I’m all for it.”
“Not a tattoo hater by any stretch.”
“But now, she’s talking about getting an underboob tattoo.”
“And, I dunno, I just find the idea… not attractive at all.”
“Like, I’ve seen them on other people and thought, ‘Cool for you’, but on her?”
“It just doesn’t click for me.”
“I told her how I felt, tried to be as gentle as possible, saying I love her style and her current tattoos but this one’s just not my jam.”
“She got pretty upset, saying it’s her body and her choice, which, fair enough, it totally is.”
“But she also wants my support, which puts me in a weird spot.”
“Should I just suck it up because it’s her body, or is it okay to have an opinion on something that changes how I see her aesthetically?”
“Looking for some outside perspective here.”
“Am I the a**hole for not being on board with this?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was somewhat divided on whether or not the OP was the a**hole for not supporting his wife’s underboob tattoo.
Some felt there were no a**holes in this scenario, feeling that the OP was entitled to his opinion, but his wife had every right to do what she wanted with her body:
“NAH.”
“It would be different if you told her she couldn’t get it, but it seems like you just told her how you’d feel if she did get one.”
“She’s free to do what she wants with her body and you’re free to have a different opinion than her.”
“And you never know, you might change you mind when you see the tattoo on her.”- spoonfork42
“NAH.”
“You have no obligation to like a tattoo your wife gets, but you also have no power to actually stop her from getting it.”
“It’s her body, and she’s no more an AH for wanting it as you are for not liking it.”- New-Pea-3721
“I’m torn between N-A-H and N-T-A, but I’m gonna go NAH.”
“OP, you aren’t an a**hole for not finding an underboob tattoo attractive.”
“If you aren’t into it, you aren’t into it.”
“That’s fine.”
“Though, admittedly I’m with you OP.”
“I don’t get the appeal of them at all.”
“Personally, it sounds like the worst place to get a tattoo.”
“OP’s wife isn’t an a**hole for wanting an underboob tattoo.”
“It’s her body, if she wants one, fine.”
“I, again, don’t get it.”
“Guilting/being upset with OP for it not being his jam makes her some level of a**hole, but I don’t think it makes her enough of one to label her an a**hole here.”- m3gauley
“NAH.”
“If your partner is considering significantly altering her appearance, I think it is valid for you to give your honest opinion.”- puntacana24
While some felt the OP was not the a**hole for merely sharing his opinion, even if they agreed that his wife didn’t have to listen to him:
“NTA.”
“Both arguements can be had and cant fault either side so its really just a sux2bu right now situation.”
“End of the day you may just have to suck it up.”
“It’s the same as … if a guy has always had a beard and the wife is SUPER attracted to the beard….end of the day it would be the guys choice to shave it all off one day despite the wife hating it.”
“Its fine to have an opinion, and your wife kinda sucks for asking for an opinion then getting upset when given an answer they don’t like.”
“Just need to have that discussion/compromise.”- warclonex
“NTA.”
“She asked you your opinion and you gave it.”
“You did so gently and not harshly.”
“Thus you did nothing wrong.”
“While it’s fine for her to be unhappy with your response, it’s wrong of her to get upset at you for it.”
“Yes, it’s her body and her choice.”
“It’s also your mind and your feelings and you have a right to them too.”
“You do not need to ‘suck it up’.”
“This doesn’t seem like a breaking point for you, you’re not going to fall out of love with her or divorce her if she gets this tattoo.”
“It sounds like you’re going to continue to be a good partner whether she gets the tattoo or not.”
“She needs to do the same for you.”
“She can get the tattoo all she wants.”
“But she needs to treat your feelings with respect even if she doesn’t agree with them.”-cascadia1979
“If your wife honestly needs your opinion, then she shouldn’t be upset when you do not agree with her new idea.”
“NTA.”- MeetBellaWilcox
“NTA.”
“I have a similar situation with my husband.”
“He showed me an idea he had for a tattoo on his chest.”
“I told him it wasn’t my jam, even though I really like his other tattoos.”
“He got the tattoo and then got upset when (surprise surprise) I don’t like it.”
“The thing that annoys me the most is that he never walks around without a shirt and it’s not like he can really see it on himself day to day, so effectively I’m the only one that sees it and (perhaps TMI) its usually during sex.”
“It absolutely has decreased my attraction to him.”
“I get ‘their body their choice’ but people relying on this need to realize that if you feel a certain way about something it’s not like it’s going to change just because they go ahead with getting the thing on a technicality.”- chocolateforbrekky
“NTA.”
“If you want to control her and forbid her to get the tattoo that would be an a**hole move.”
“But you are free to tell her your opinion.”
“It‘s still her choice but it‘s also your right to not like it as long as you let her do whatever she wants with her body.”- What_The_Hell96
While others felt the OP was indeed the a**hole, feeling that his wife’s body and what she chose to do with it was none of his concern:
“Well, I do think that YTA- at least a little bit.”
“My issue is: Why do you care that much?”
“And how come that underboob tattoos on other women are okay, but not on your wife?”
“You are the one who should support her, and in all honesty: Tattoos are an individual choice.”
“Her body is her choice.”
“She thinks about getting a permanent choice, and you are talking her down because it does not suit your style.”
“Also, it is just bugging me the wrong way that you think that an underboob tattoo could change your views on her.”
“I don’t know, man…it’s just an underboob tattoo.”
“It isn’t even a big back Yukaza tattoo or so.”
“Usually, underboob tattoos are very delicate.”- Namkojii
“If you’ve insinuated to your wife that you’ll find her less attractive if she has this tattoo then YTA.”
“My gf has some tattoos I like and others where I’m not the biggest fan.”
“But she couldn’t get any tattoos that would materially change my attraction to her because that’s deeper than tattoos, and it should be for you too.”- HDK1989
The OP ultimately doesn’t have a say as to whether or not his wife goes through with this, leaving the ball in his wife’s court.
Since the OP’s approval seems to matter to her, she must decide how much.
Even though his approval shouldn’t ultimately be what leads her to go through with it or not, as she is the only one who has any say about decisions when it comes to her body.