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Man Accuses Girlfriend Of Emasculating Him After She Ate More Than He Did At A Restaurant


Redditor SmallDare1986 is a runner who embarrassingly admitted to having a “huge appetite.”

Her body-builder boyfriend, however, does not, and after an incident that happened over a year ago that demonstrated their contrasting metabolisms, he still holds a grudge.

She visited the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit and asked:

“AITA for embarrassing my boyfriend at a restaurant?”

The Original Poster (OP) maintained her innocence but still sought affirmation from strangers on the internet.

“Ok this is really stupid, and I’m pretty sure I’m not the a**hole, but this happened over a year ago, and my boyfriend keeps bringing this up as an example of me trying to undermine him.”

“So, both my boyfriend and I love food. Not too uncommon obviously. We’re also both pretty athletic. I’m a runner, so I’m relatively small (around 100 pounds at 5’4″), while he’s an Olympic weightlifter and occasional body builder, so he’s a lot bigger (probably like 200 pounds at 6 feet).”

“The thing is, I have an enormous appetite. Way bigger than his. Honestly, I’m kind of embarrassed at how much i can eat which is often way more than him.”

“So last year, we went to a restaurant that has a 96 ounce steak challenge. Basically, you have to finish a 96 ounce steak plus a bunch of sides in an hour and you get the meal for free.”

“I honestly had very little doubt I could finish it. Bf and I went to the restaurant with a few friends, and I said I wanted to try the challenge.”

“Bf said he wouldn’t pay for it if I couldn’t finish it, but like I said, I was pretty sure I would finish it. He had been to the restaurant before, and he ordered a more normal meal (I don’t remember exactly what but some kind of steak that was probably closer to like 18 ounces).”

“I made a bet with him that I would, not only finish my meal, but would finish it before he did, and he accepted.”

“Well the meal comes, and I finish in under an hour. Bf can’t even finish his meal. I end up finishing for him. Our friends that were with us laughed and congratulated me and teased my boyfriend that his girlfriend of half his size could out eat him so much, and i told him to pay up.”

“After we separated from our friends, he went off on me, telling me i embarrassed him in front of our friends and emasculated him(????) I honestly don’t think i am an a**hole for this, but he keeps bringing this up as an example of me trying to undermine him in public.”

“Am I the a**hole for out eating him and embarrassing him in front of our friends?”

“Y’all, I don’t eat like this every day. I wouldn’t be able to run if I did lol”

Anonymous strangers on the internet were asked if and where guilt belongs by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
  • NAH – No A**holes Here

“NTA I don’t see how you would be the a**hole here. This just sounds like he got butthurt over you having a bit of fun.”

“Also, props for eating all that THEN finishing his lol” – WashGodMega

People alluded to the boyfriend having a fragile ego and suggested he should do some serious self-evaluating in his life.

“NTA. If your boyfriends masculinity hinges on his ability to eat more than someone else, he needs to reassess his life.” – NUTmeSHELL

“My husband is a foot taller than I am and 100lbs heavier. He’s in the trades and I work in an office. He’s generally a much more active person with a higher metabolism.”

“He always brags about the time I out ate him at a buffet and how proud he is of me for doing that.”

“NTA, OP. Your boyfriend definitely needs to reevaluate his life and his perception of self worth.” – readingonthebus

“Olympic weightlifter, 6 foot, 200 pounds and still so insecure he thinks his 100 pound girlfriend is trying to undermine him…ugggh.” – shappa357

“Or he needs to get better at eating ungodly amounts of steak in under an hour.” – IllegibleLetters

“He’s not even mad about his inability to eat more than someone else. He’s mad at his inability to eat more than a woman. He’d be perfectly fine losing to one of his male friends.” – alexsangthat

“I had no idea your masculinity was so fragile, sweetie. Your continual harping about this? It’s not a real hot look, I gotta tell ya. MAKE IT STOP.” – Hoistedonyrownpetard

“NTA. The word undermine, used this way, is a red flag. Just because he’s self conscious doesn’t mean you should change your behavior to make him feel like more of a man.”

“That’s not your job, and he’s talking like he’s trying to get you to do whatever he says so he feels like he’s in charge around his friends.” – traipse75

“The word ’emasculated’ is honestly a red flag in itself. This has come up a bunch of times on this sub: you are never the AH for ’emasculating’ a man if all he means by this is that you outperformed him or beat him in a fair contest.”

“Women aren’t obliged to lose to men. If he seriously thinks that being a man means he is entitled to be the superior one by default – or for that matter, if he’s so fixated on his masculinity that even something completely trivial like how much he can eat is linked to it – that is a massive warning sign about his views on gender, about how he thinks of you as a woman, and honestly also about who he is as a person.”

“I realize that this mentality is unfortunately still pretty common, but society should really have moved past it by now, and he’s had plenty of time to think about his behaviour.” – pm_me_pm_speeches

Overall, Redditors sided with the OP and offered no sympathies for her boyfriend who felt his masculinity was threatened over a friendly competition.

Written by Koh Mochizuki

Koh Mochizuki is a Los Angeles based actor whose work has been spotted anywhere from Broadway stages to Saturday Night Live.
He received his B.A. in English literature and is fluent in Japanese.
In addition to being a neophyte photographer, he is a huge Disney aficionado and is determined to conquer all Disney parks in the world to publish a photographic chronicle one day. Mickey goals.
Instagram: kohster Twitter: @kohster1 Flickr: nyckmo