Everyone has their insecurities or hang-ups.
Some people feel intimidated being in a room of people with a more impressive educational background, and some find themselves uncomfortable being invited to the much bigger house of a friend or colleague.
While countless people feel insecure at the very subject of money.
Redditor Pound_me_please89 always had trouble accepting that his girlfriend not only came from a rather more affluent background than he did, but that she also currently made more money than him.
So much so, that when the original poster (OP)’s girlfriend gave him something he had always wanted for his birthday, all he could think about after opening it was just how much it cost.
Resulting in the OP making a scene in front of his party guests.
Having second thoughts about his behavior, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for causing a scene at my surprise birthday party?”
The OP explained why he was unable to control his emotions in front of his friends at his surprise party after opening his girlfriend’s present.
“I am a 34-year-old male.”
“My GF is 28 years old.”
“Yesterday it was my birthday, and my GF threw me a surprise birthday party and invited all of our close friends.”
“There were probably 20 people there, and it was hosted at our apartment.”
“So at some point, she pulls me towards the dining room table to open presents.”
“One of the presents was something that I always wanted a gaming laptop.”
“The specs were so insane that she probably dropped 2500+ USD on it.”
“When I pulled her aside to our bedroom and asked her how much she spent on it she was like ‘don’t worry about it honey, I love you and want you to be happy,’ but I wasn’t going for it and thought she was trying to show me up in front of all our friends.”
“When she tried to kiss me I pushed her away and said why do you always try to flex your money on me?”
“So we got into a HUGE shouting match in front of all our friends, and I finally left.”
“I got a text from her this morning asking if we could talk and haven’t replied to her cause I don’t know what I should say.”
“It’s important to note that I don’t make a lot of money and grew up poor and she grew up with money and makes a lot because she’s a doctor.”
“Reddit, AITA cause I ruined the evening for everyone involved?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP answered his own question, and was indeed the a**hole for the way he behaved towards his girlfriend.
Everyone agreed that the OP’s behavior was ungrateful and inappropriate and that he needed to get a handle on his insecurities, with many having doubts as to whether or not his girlfriend will want to remain in their relationship after this.
“WTF did I just read.”
“Your partner got you the gift you always wanted, and you got mad because you’re insecure?”-TomakusDankus
“YTA and ungrateful.”
“Holy insecurities!”
“Dude, how is a gift ‘showing you up’?”
“You don’t deserve the gift, or the girlfriend who gave it to you.”- PsiBlaze
“YTA.”
“Your insecurities made you act completely irrationally.”
“Being thankful costs nothing but reacting like that will probably cost you your relationship.”-CrystalQueen3000
“YTA.”
“And at the rate, you are going, you are soon going to be a single AND poor AH.”- Material-Profit5923
“YTA.”
“What the hell is wrong with you?”- lihzee
“YTA.”Â
“She’s too good for you.”- ToothFairy1942
“Dude, take it from me, if you get over the whole gender role, the man is supposed to make the most money thing, having a partner who makes more money than you can be pretty freaking awesome.”
“YTA.”
“She just wanted to do something nice for you.”- RaiderDave89
“She got you something that she knew you would love.”
“Sounds like she is just a generous person trying to make your day special.”
“YTA.”- BuildingBridges23
“YTA.”
“Your insecurities are yours to deal with.”
“I suggest you do that before you push this poor girl any further away.”- Mogwai_92
“YTA.”
“You need to leave your EGO at the door.”
“That sweet woman bought you an amazingly thoughtful gift! You humiliated yourself, and her, in an ego tantrum.”
“I’d demand you get into serious therapy or I’d leave you.”- Flintejae
“YTA.”
“She bought you something nice not simply because she COULD but because she wanted to.”
“Flex her money…y’all need to break up now.”
“If you can’t be comfortable with hearing more money…it will always be a problem.”- Pattons3rd
‘We’ll, aren’t you just a giant bouquet of red flags, toxic masculinity, outdated gender roles, massive insecurity, temper tantrums, ungrateful, immature, fragile male ego.”
“YTA, you can add that to the bouquet of red flags too.”- babygirlrvt75
“YTA.”
“Get some therapy before you destroy your relationship with your insecurities.”- a_potato-flew-around
“YTA.”
“Bruh what is wrong with you?”
“How negative must you be to twist a gift like that into a bad thing?”
“It’s perfectly reasonable to tell her you’re not comfortable with getting super expensive gifts like that.”
“Is this a conversation you’ve not had?”
“It’s not cool, however, to make a scene at a party over it.”- Capital-Literature-9
“Yep.”
“You were the a** in this situation.”
“She obviously loves you and doesn’t care about ‘status.'”
“Get over your insecurities before you lose her.”- lifeislifetoday
“Reminds me of the guy that was upset with his GF for buying him gifts, because it meant he needs to buy her gifts too.”
“He called her ‘manipulative’ and ‘a gold digger’.”
“YTA.”- Broad_Respond_2205
“YTA.”
“She tries to do something nice for you, and you throw a temper tantrum to thank her.”
“She deserves better.”- ElectronicRub1716
“YTA.”
“She did something really nice, and you threw it back in her face and had a tantrum.”
“Humiliating her in front of everyone.”
“Grow up.”
“Get over your insecurities.”
“Unless you actually want to lose her.”- MerlinBiggs
“YTA grow up if you define yourself by how much money you make, you’re a child.”
“Seriously, if that’s where you get self-worth you need to only date people who make less than you.”
“Your girlfriend does something nice for you, and you take it as her trying to show you up, what a d*ck.”
“You have serious confidence issues, and she should dump you.”- Xterradiver
“YTA.”
“You need to work out your deep-rooted issues about you thinking she ‘flexes her money’ on you.”
“She bought that present for you because she thought it would make you happy.”
“If you value your relationship with her talk it out in a way that addresses the insecurity without gaslighting her and her profession.”- sutekka
“Not only are you the a**hole, but an incredibly insecure one at that.”- Charming_Surprise_19
“YTA.”
“Your partner showed so much care and love for you by throwing a party and on top of that, bought you a dream gift, something you’ve always wanted, and you blow up at her?”
“It’s time to seek some professional help and unpack your childhood trauma.”
“She is not trying to show you up, she loves and cares for you deeply and wanted to give you the best day possible.”- blurbearcat
“YTA.”
“It can be humbling or humiliating to have someone spend that much on you.”
“Humbling can be a good thing- you’re blessed that someone loves you enough to think you’re worth spending the money on.”
“Humiliating is where your reaction came from.”
“You think she’s trying to one-up you and you took any joy out of the gift by getting angry at her.”
“The difference is in your mindset.”
“She wanted to bless you (likely) because of the fact that you’ve had a harder life and she wanted to be extravagant FOR you.”
“You definitely need to apologize sincerely and work on your mindset.”
“My guess is you feel inadequate because you can’t reciprocate with fancy gifts (that’s always my hang-up), but people who love giving/getting gifts are looking more for the thought put into a gift than the amount of money.”
“A well-timed bouquet of flowers or a dinner out when you know she’s not up for cooking can mean a lot.”
“You’re only holding yourself back from your resentment.”-Pandalovesdogs
“Yes.”
“YTA.”
“And if she stays with you, then she is as well.”- introspectiveliar
“Yes you are, and you need to have a conversation about this specific insecurity of yours.”
“Doesn’t sound like she was flexing, but that she was being very genuine about wanting to give this present to you.”
“And not just that, but she spent all of the time organizing this day for you which is a ton of work.”
“Part of being in a relationship is being open about insecurities and discussing them in a way that your SO can understand.”
“Being hostile about it is a clear way to destroy an otherwise healthy relationship.”
“My wife and me had our fair share of fights, and it took work for both of us to learn how to better communicate with one another.”
“Go talk to her.”- Anarye
When a friend or loved one gives you a generous present, it is always best to respond with “thank you”.
Not shove them away, let alone publicly yell at them.
It’s hard not to imagine that this will likely be the last gift the OP ever receives from his girlfriend.