Mom Slams Husband's Friend For Joking That He Looks More Like The Baby's Father

When in doubt, it's never a good idea to make a joke at someone else's expense.

Even if you think you know someone well enough and think surely they'll understand what you're saying isn't true, that still doesn't mean they'll find it funny.

Particularly if you make a joke about something that has always been a touchy subject that a simple "just kidding" can't excuse.

The husband of a recent Redditor had a high school friend whom the OP had a difficult time warming to.

Specifically owing to his less-than-G-rated sense of humor.

While the OP usually did her best to brush off this friend's jokes and jabs, she felt that he went too far on a recent visit.

And went on to tell him so in no uncertain terms.

After being scolded by her husband for her conduct, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:

"AITA for calling out my husband's friend after he made inappropriate comments about my son's paternity?"

The OP explained why a recent joke told by her husband's friend turned out to be no laughing matter for anyone:

"I (23 F[emale]) have been married to my husband, Alex (27 M[ale]), for 2 years, and we have a 10 month old son, Dylan."

"Alex has a friend named Mike (27 M)."

"They've been best friends since high school."

"From my first encounter, I did not like Mike."

"He is really childish, likes to be the center of attention, and has a crude sense of humor."

"It's like he never got out of his frat boy phase."

"All of my husband's friends are married or in long-term relationships, whereas Mike has never been in a long-term relationship or has brought any woman around."

"He has also made some weird comments toward me that made me uncomfortable."

"My husband has a deep bond with Mike, and they often go on hunting trips or have boys' nights."

"I've never tried to keep my husband from hanging out with his friend, but I have limited my contact with Mike as much as possible since we've been together."

"Mike came over to pick up my husband to go golfing."

"I was holding our baby when I answered the door."

"Mike greeted us at the door, asked to hold my baby, and was cooing at him."

"Then he said, 'Hey there, man…come to poppa', and my husband and Mike started laughing."

"A bit of background: I have brown hair and blue eyes, and my husband has black hair and brown eyes."

"Our son's hair is coming in blonde, and he has blue eyes."

"Mike has blondish hair and blue eyes."

"I was a bit caught off guard by it but ignored his comment."

"Mike then said, 'He looks like me'."

"Maybe he's mine', and my husband and Mike continued to laugh."

"I was obviously not amused."

"I told Mike to hand me my son and then told him, 'Not in a million years, and no woman with sense would want you'."

"Neither my husband nor Mike laughed at my comment, and Mike just made a face before he and my husband left."

"Later, my husband told me I 'took it too far' with Mike, that Mike was just joking, but I made it personal."

"I told him those comments were disrespectful to me as his wife and the mother of this child."

"He then said it's obviously not true, so why am I so upset when I know how Mike is."

"AITA?"

Fellow Redditors weighed in on. where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:

• NTA – Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
• NAH – No A**holes Here

The Reddit largely agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for clapping back at Mike.

Most felt that Mike earned a talking down to for his insensitive, tasteless joke, and that her husband should have stood up for her and not Mike, even if some felt the OP may have gone too far, as by her own admission there was no way what his joke insinuated could be true:

"Ask your husband why Mike's comfort is more important than yours?"

"NTA."- CeramicSavage

"NTA."

"It was a harmless joke."

"Obviously a joke."

"But a joke intended to make your husband laugh as if you weren't even there."

"In fact, the joke doesn't even make sense if you are there because the implication is that he's been sleeping with you behind your husband's back."

"The only way it would work is if the three of you were close enough such that you'd play along (like: 'oh no, well, sorry hubby, the truth had to come out sooner or later' while you put your arm around Mike'."

"But the fact they both laughed, and because you don't have that familiarity, it was hurtful that your husband chose to laugh (somewhat at your expense) as if you weren't even there or only considered what the joke implies about him and not what it implies to you."

"This is the kind of joke you make between friends you know it'll land with, and you are NOT one of those people."

"Your husband's closeness to him does not automatically transitively pass to you because you're his wife."

"Nor should you feel pressured into being comfortable with that level of familiarity being forced on you."

"It wasn't necessarily the joke itself that got you so upset."

"It was the fact he thought he could tell that joke without thinking of you at all, the forced familiarity from both of them, and the way they talked as if you weren't even there and don't see anything wrong with any of it."- jmking

"NTA."

"I would ask your husband if he thinks it's funny that his friend jokes about impregnating his wife without her knowledge."

"I wonder what return joke would not be taking it too far."

"'I doubt it, I bet your sperm is as useless as that joke'."

"'OK let's get a DNA test, you're paying'."- C_Majuscula

"NTA."

"Yeah, you know how Mike is."

"That's why you're upset."

"A joke is only funny if all parties involved are laughing."

"You were not laughing ergo, the joke is not funny."

"Also, why is it okay if a joke is at your expense but not at Mike's?"

"So he can dish it but he can't take it?"

"What a baby."

"Basically, in the words of Marie from Aristocats, 'Ladies don't start fights, but they can finish them!'"

"Mike started the fight by calling you a cheater who would make your husband raise another man's baby."

"You finished it by shutting down his foolishness."- CryptographerFull581

"NTA."

"'You know how he is' is such a f*cking infuriating excuse."

"'He's always been an ahole so let him continue to be one'."

"Your husband doesn't get to choose if you have to be comfortable with this."

"Once I'd be more lenient, but it sounds like Mike just is constantly exhausting to be around and really, why should you give him any slack if he's constantly like that?"

"If you had made a joke about something and insinuated you had cheated, would he have found that funny?"- mudcrabsareforever

"It's so interesting how different perspectives can change how you view a situation."

"For me I would have found it funny."

"I definitely wouldn't have felt the need to insult Mike because of the joke."

"But obviously you have issues with who Mike is as a person, so found the joke insulting."

"I personally feel like your response was a but harsh, but I come from a family of people that joke by insulting each other so not much phases me."

"I'd say NTA because it seems like there is more going on with the dynamics with Mike than just this one joke."- OkToday6170

"NTA."

"'Joking' you had sex with him and the baby was his was inappropriate and you responded accordingly."- Warm_Home6971

"NTA, and that's massively inappropriate!"

"In no world is making that kind of joke about someone else's kids ok, unless, and it's a big unless, you have a close enough and trusting enough relationship with BOTH parents."

"His joke implied her cheating with him, when she clearly and obviously barely tolerates him for her husband's sake."

"What kind of person makes that kind of joke about someone that they are not friends with?"

"That is massive, and I will never understand the people claiming it's ok."- Winter_Wolverine4622

Seeing as the OP made her dislike for Mike abundantly clear, it's safe to say that everyone present knew that there was no way anything Mike said could possibly have been true.

Even so, not many women take kindly to a joke insinuating that they were sleeping around, no matter how far-fetched the joke may be.

Nor should any husband take the side of the one who made the joke over their wife.

True, the OP didn't need to stoop to Mike's level.

But maybe a taste of his own medicine is just what Mike needed.