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Mom Furious When She’s Charged For Bringing Her Two Kids To Wedding Against Hosts’ Wishes

Photo by Taylor Deas-Melesh/Unsplash

Why do weddings have to be so stressful?

They should be a joyous, carefree day.

But there is always going to be unforeseen issues.

Especially when it comes to head count.

Case in point…

Redditor Conscious-Bit-453 wanted to discuss their story for some feedback. So naturally they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

They asked:

“AITA for charging my wedding guest for bringing uninvited plus 2?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I had my wedding last weekend.”

“It was a small wedding at a small venue that has a strict capacity due to fire codes.”

“One of my guests showed up with her 2 children, who were not invited, not in the RSVP, and obviously not in the seating chart.”

“She came in, decided to seat them at her table, taking away the spots of my other guests who were actually invited.”

“A small commotion broke out when she refused to give those seats back, and the venue manager noticed and said that we’d be charged a fine for exceeding capacity, as stated in the contract.”

“When I got the bill, I sent it to her and asked that she pays for it.”

“She claimed that it is not her fault, and that I should have factored in unforeseen charges when budgeting for my wedding.”

“And she couldn’t find a babysitter, so she had no choice, and that I should be grateful she took the effort to attend my wedding anyway.”


Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.

It’s a tricky situation.

Let’s hear some thoughts…

“NTA but your ex-friend is.”

“Drop her like a hot potato.”

“And she definitely had a choice – she could have stayed home with her 2 kids.”

“There shouldn’t be unforeseen charges at a wedding, especially not ones involving people that were NOT invited.”

“You will never see the money from her.”

“And with a little luck, you will never see her again.”  ~ Ducky818

“NTA. Small claims court sounds like the best route here.”  ~ crymson7

“Right? So stay home lady if you can’t find a babysitter?! NTA.”  ~ Typical-Garlic-7308

“Small claims court. It all falls on her. NTA.”  ~ MadScientistCoder

“NTA, and wow, that guest had a lot of nerve.”

“She claimed that it was not her fault.”

“Well, exactly whose fault did she think the thing THAT SHE DID was, then?”

“God, I love people who absolutely refuse to take any responsibility for their own actions.”

“Of course it was her fault. She literally did it.”

“And now she can deal with the consequences of actions which are hers and hers alone, which are a bill from the venue for exceeding capacity.”

“She couldn’t find a babysitter, so she had no choice.”

“There is always a choice.”

“In this case, the choice was staying home with her kids.”

“Which would have cost her nothing.”

“And would have cost you only the price of her meal instead of an overcharge from the venue manager.”

“I should be grateful that she [made] the effort to attend.”

“There is . . . that weird thing where people in this sub have no comprehension of what gratitude is supposed to mean.”

“No, she is not important enough to ANY wedding as a guest for you to need to feel ‘grateful’ that she showed up with two uninvited guests.”

“And cost you an additional bill from the venue.”

“You do not have to feel ‘grateful’ for that, LOL.”

“Honestly, I’m pretty sure that it’s only in AITA that people are expected to feel “grateful” for others causing them stress, money, and other disadvantages.”

“Obviously you are NTA, but your guest most certainly is.”  ~ FoolMe1nceShameOnU

“This lady is off her rocker entitled.”

“Even if she was confused or didn’t know that you just don’t bring uninvited people to an event.”

“When she saw that there was assigned seating and absolutely no space for her children, she should have left.”

“The fact that she still refused to leave when specifically asked to do so is just rude, entitled, and tacky.”

“It shouldn’t be the responsibility of the bride and groom to cover fees for people who just want to act the a**.”

“I wonder what the ended up doing with her and her offspring.”  ~ Electrical-Date-3951

“I’m an attorney and based on the facts as you told them to me, you 100% have a cause of action against her.”

“Depending on the amount you were fined, it might be a small claims issue.”

“But since it was your wedding day, if you really want to go after this person, I can’t IMAGINE the emotional damage you just have suffered from this persons deliberate and insensitive actions.”  ~ TheRealJohnGalt22

“OP… she needs consequences.”

“If you pay it for her and just allow her to get away with it then she will keep doing this s**t.”

“She isn’t even sorry.”

“And it would probably feel amazing to get that money back from her (maybe as well as the legal costs).”

“You didn’t deserve this and she needs to pay for it.”

“Also NTA.”  ~ SunshineOnStimulants

“NTA. I am not grateful you attended my wedding.”

“Not only did you bring people who were not invited, which is not how wedding invites work, you also failed to show a basic level of courtesy and inform myself that you were doing this.”

“As a result of your actions, not anyone else’s, we are now being fined.”

“This is directly due to you and therefore you are responsible.”

“Wedding planning for unforeseen circumstances does not include potential gatecrashers as it is well known that this is unacceptable behaviour to do.”

“And we expected our guests to behave acceptably.”

“After all, they are guests. Your lack of planning caused this.”  ~ NCforrealthistime

People wondered…

“INFO: why didn’t you ask her to leave??”  ~ HoneyFlea

OP responded…

“Words didn’t work with her, and it didn’t feel right to use physical force on her in front of her young children.”

“I did tell her that she’d have to pay the fees if she chose to stay.”

“But she didn’t believe me until I sent her the bill.”  

“NTA! I would have asked her to leave.”

“Sorry, but some people don’t want kids at their wedding and I hate it when others just feel they’re so self entitled that they feel they can bring them, anyway.”

“Do these people show up invited to other parties?”

“Do they like people showing up uninvited to their parties? Probably not.”

“Should have gotten security involved.”

“Not fair for those guests who were invited, who couldn’t sit there.”

“I’m sorry. Since when is it anyone’s problem, especially yours, that she couldn’t find a babysitter?”

“Then she should have stayed home.”  ~ WillLoveCoffee4Ever1

“NTA if she couldn’t find a babysitter she should have sent you an apology text and not attended.”

“There are sometimes things I can’t do because I’m minding my kids and that’s just a thing one has to live with as a parent.”  ~ Just_the_doctor1988

“HA, the gall of her – so you should factor in unforeseen charges, but she’s not responsible for factoring in the unforeseen need to have a back-up sitter?”

“NTA, she owes you money. Consider small claims.”  ~ FuriousKittens

“NTA: She had a damn choice, it’s called not going.”

“It IS her fault and she’s a bad friend.”

“And this is why I’ve seen so many posts where people advise the engaged couple to pay for security.”

“If you had a security person they would have been able to bounce her out the door.”  ~ May_I_inquire

“NTA You should’ve just kicked her out.”

“If she couldn’t find a babysitter she should’ve stayed home.”

“The second the manager came to you you should’ve told her to get out.”  ~r ainbow_mak3r

“NTA. Not to add insult to injury, but she should have been turned away at the door.”

“I also heard one lately that I think would have been really handy, which is the bridesmaids were all given instructions to pour red wine on people violating the no children code at her wedding.”

“Of course it’s too late for all that.”

“But I sure would put her on blast.”  ~ Yui_Ma

“NTA – I would send a text like this:”

“I should not have to budget for extra wedding expenses caused by selfish and entitled guests.”

“You not only brought uninvited individuals, but you stole invited guest seats.”

“And caused drama on a day that was about my union.”

“I would have preferred you not come rather than causing drama and costing me money, above the cost of yourself anyway.”

“If you value my friendship and want to see it continuing you will pay for the issues you caused, if not then this is goodbye.” ~ asaking

OP wanted us to know she is handling it all…

“Thank you.”

“I don’t want to ruin the memory of my wedding even more with a lawsuit.”

“So I’d probably end up just paying it.”

“Some family members have offered to help us with the costs, and I’m extremely grateful.” 

Well OP Reddit sees you in the clear.

Maybe it’s time to cut ties with this “friend” and pursue ways to retrieve your money.

But do your best to focus on your happy union.