It's always risky to make excuses for our actions that upset people.
In some cases, we are simply being honest, and we genuinely believe what we did would help someone.
Other times, however, we are simply looking for an escape route to avoid getting into trouble.
Often, we only dig ourselves even deeper into a hole.
Redditor Clear_Yard2123 thought she had a good arrangement with her roommate.
However, a change in her roommate's situation made their living situation somewhat tense, with the original poster (OP)'s roommate constantly using the same excuse over and over.
Eventually leading to a full-on confrontation.
Having some doubts about how she handled things, OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A*hole Here" (AITAH).
Unlike the similar “Am I The A**Hole” (AITA) subReddit, AITAH allows Redditors to ask for advice on issues that are not permitted on AITA, such as asking for advice or posting about ending relationships. Nor are voting acronyms required or a final judgment declared.
The OP asked fellow Redditors:
"AITAH for saying I don’t give a fuck about my roommates baby?"
The OP explained why they finally felt they had no other choice but to put her roommate in her place:
"I’m 27 F[emale], and I have a roommate 25 F."
"Originally, it was my roommate and me, but she got pregnant by her boyfriend, causing her boyfriend to move in."
"At first, it wasn’t a big deal, he wasn’t loud, and my roommate didn’t really bother me."
"But as the months passed and she got more pregnant, she started becoming more entitled and rude. For example, she would constantly steal my food, and when I tried to confront her, she would play the pregnancy cravings card."
"But the day that finally made me snap was the day I brought home a small personal pumpkin pie. I wrote my name on the box and put it in the fridge."
"Later, when I went to get some, she was literally standing there eating my pie."
"Honestly, I wouldn’t have cared if she only took a slice, but this b*tch was literally eating the whole thing."
"And fed up with her always eating my food, I got mad, and I yelled at her."
"I asked her why she was eating MY pumpkin pie, knowing that it wasn’t for her."
"She started crying and said she’s pregnant and she can’t help that the baby was craving pumpkin pie."
"In a fit of rage, I yelled at her and said I don’t give one f*ck about your dumb a**, baby."
"She gasped dramatically like I just said something world-shattering, and she ran off to tell her boyfriend what I said."
"Later, he called me a b*tch for yelling at a pregnant woman who can’t control her craving."
"So AITAH for saying I don’t give a f*ck about my roommates baby?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Just about everyone agreed that the OP was well within her rights to yell at her roommate.
Everyone agreed that pregnancy was no excuse for the OP's roommate to steal her food, with many urging the OP to change her living situation as soon as possible, particularly after the OP revealed in the comments that her roommate's boyfriend didn't contribute to the rent:
"You were in the apt, if 'baby' was craving pumpkin pie, then 'momma' could have taken 10 steps to knock on your door and ask if she could have some."
"More importantly, is the bf covering more of the rent and utilities?"
"Did your rent go down to account for this extra person in the apt?"
"NTA, but you should be looking for another place because this is only going to get worse once the baby comes."- HappyKnittens
"NTA."
"I have been pregnant 3 times and it still hasn’t made me steal other people’s food."
"Her boyfriend can go pick up what she needs."- Individual_You_6586
"She can control her craving."
"The baby isn't craving anything."
"If she wants something she can have her boyfriend get something."- Cultural-Band5013
“'Causing her boyfriend to move in'."
"Nope."
"I would have been done there."
"The pregnancy didn’t cause the boyfriend to move in…the entitled pregnant chick allowed/demanded it."- Double-Dot9175
"I call bs."
"Not pregnancy cravings but sheer gluttonous laziness!"
"What are you going to do once the baby is born?"
"I’d start looking for a new place to live."- Visible-Archer2582
"NTA, she is playing you."
"Believe me, she can control the cravings."
"You need to move out."- WisePhnx80
"NTA."
"The audacity of your roommate and her bf."
"Is your rent being split 3 ways with the bf or 50/50 with her and you?"
"If 50/50, tell bf its time to leave."
"And then find another roommate."
"This will all just get worse."- MommaSnarky
"NTA."
"Find a new place to live and let them deal with it."
"Lmao."- Artistic-Anybody-131
"NTA."
"If she wanted pie, she should have bought her own, and her boyfriend has no right to call you names."- Pitiful-Hair4188
"Having been pregnant before, she can control what she wants to eat."
"The cravings don't turn people into bottomless pits for food."
"She is using being pregnant as an excuse to eat your stuff."
"Pregnancy doesn't give anyone a free pass to other people's food."
"NTA for the issue with the food."- ScratchIll3353
"Why doesn’t she buy her own damn pie if the 'baby' wants it so bad."
"DoorDash is a thing."- fannypacksnackk
"The fact she's using her pregnancy to justify theft is pathetic."
"Showing her true colors."- kykid87
"Please tell me you’re splitting the rent three ways if not four."- einzeln
"Every woman who's ever been pregnant knows you absolutely CAN control your cravings."
"Plus that whole 'eating for two' thing is bullsh*t- you need a little more food, but as all my doctors and nutritionists have told me over my pregnancies, that means more like 2 apples and a piece of PB toast per day, not entire extra meals and whole pies."
"You are NTA, and they both are."
"I've said it before and I'll say it again: my children are the center of MY world, not THE world. Thats a lesson your roommate and her rude bf need to learn asap."- BubbleCrum
"NTA."
"Your reaction was built up from her repeatedly stealing your food."
"If her boyfriend wants to get involved, tell him to provide for her instead of allowing her to leech off her roommate."- Happytreez69
"Pregnancy isn't like... a crack addiction."
"She is fully capable of controlling herself."
"She's very clearly just using her pregnancy as an excuse to be rude and inconsiderate."
"NTA."- Zestyclose_Current41
"NTA."
"I’ve had 4 babies."
"Some women use pregnancy to exaggerate and milk it for attention and to get what they want."- cashewtoad
"NTA."
"Pregnancy isn't a license to be a house thief."
"Using 'cravings' to justify literally eating someone else's labeled food is peak entitlement."
"Your roommate and her boyfriend are living in a delusion where the world owes them your pumpkin pie just because she’s expecting."
"You didn't attack the baby; you attacked her sh*tty behavior and her weaponized excuses."
"If she can't control herself around a fridge, she's not ready for the responsibility of motherhood anyway."- Aggressive-Estate699
"Time to find a new roommate."
"It’s only going to get worse when the baby comes."- BriefEquipment8
"MOVE OUT!! MOVE OUT!! MOVE OUT!! MOVE OUT!! MOVE OUT!! MOVE OUT!! MOVE OUT!! MOVE OUT!! MOVE OUT!! MOVE OUT!! MOVE OUT!! MOVE OUT!! MOVE OUT!! MOVE OUT!! MOVE OUT!! MOVE OUT!!"
"NTA but Love yourself first, hunny."
"And do it for your own sanity."
"Don't stay, you've been putting up with them for months."
"He's not even paying rent."
"Queen of the house, roomie is convinced the world revolves around her."
"She's entitled, and it's not gonna get better, now and especially after the baby is born."
"Also, bf yelling at you is just from his stupid viewpoint."
"But don't believe his b.s. It's not who you are."
"He's reacting to her craziness."
"And also financially, especially since he's not contributing, she definitely needs you to help her stay in that apartment/ house."
"They owe you an apology."- 4aloha_iaoe
"NTA - her pregnancy is not your responsibility."
"Being pregnant is not an excuse to steal other people’s food."
"If you have a craving, order the food you want."- Loud_Shallot_1367
"Odd that she would uncontrollably crave something that happened to be nearby."- Excellent_Valuable92
"I know everyone's pregnancy experiences are different."
"But now that I've had a baby, I can safely say that in my experience, weed cravings are way stronger than pregnancy cravings."
"So if 20 year old me high off my a** was able to control myself and not steal my roommates snacks, then I'm pretty sure this pregnant person can stop herself from stealing your food."
"You're her roommate, not her family. It's not your job to feed her."
"As many others have pointed out, her bf could have gone out and bought her pie if she wanted it that bad."
"She is using the pregnancy as an excuse to be a d*ck and have whatever she wants without consequences."- largecherryslushie
There is no doubt that pregnancy will cause many behavioral changes in women.
What it does not affect, however, is their fundamental ability to distinguish right from wrong.
The right thing for the OP to do right now would be to find a new living situation.
