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Woman Refuses To Care For Husband’s Affair Baby While He Recovers From Heart Attack

Unhappy woman holding someone else's baby
PeopleImages/Getty Images

Everyone has different deal-breakers when it comes to their romantic relationships.

Most people find cheating to be a deal breaker. Still, if they do decide to try to make the relationship work after infidelity, there have to be new boundaries in place, agreed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.

Redditor Parking_Marzipan1717 was hurt first when she discovered her husband had an affair but agreed to try to make the relationship work. She even agreed to stay when she found out there was a baby from said affair.

But when the family expected the OP to help with the baby when her husband got sick, the Original Poster (OP) discovered what her deal breaker might be.

She asked the sub:

“AITAH for telling my husband’s affair baby’s family to either come get the kid or I would call Child Protective Services (CPS)?”

The OP forgave her husband for an affair and again for having an affair baby.

“My (53 Female) soon-to-be ex-husband Roger (47 Male), whom I forgave for his affair, came home with a baby four months ago.”

“His girlfriend (a 22-year-old Female) could not handle it anymore, so she brought the baby to him at work and left. To the best of his knowledge, she is in Spain.”

“I allowed him to stay so long as I didn’t have to do anything. Anything.”

But when her husband had a heart attack, the OP held her boundary of no childcare.

“About a month ago, Roger had a heart attack. It didn’t kill him, but he is very weak and incapable of doing anything for himself.”

“Since he isn’t up and about, he cannot care for his child. He also cannot drop off and pick up his son at daycare.”

“I have been helping, but I’m done.”

“My kids are full grown. I shouldn’t be having grandkids any time soon. I do not have any desire to care for a baby.”

The OP decided it was time for a fresh start.

“I told Roger that I wanted a divorce, and I contacted the mother’s parents. I know her father through friends.”

“I said they had until Friday to come get their grandchild, or I was calling Child Protective Services.”

“They just left with the baby. But they scolded me for being so cold towards a baby that had done me no harm. I view that child differently.”

The OP refused to help her future ex-husband and his son.

“Roger is recovering, and I will be moving out. The house is in his name, and I have never contributed to it. I have the equivalent of twenty-two years of rent and interest put away. As per our prenup, my savings are my own.”

“I work, and I don’t need anything out of this marriage except myself.”

“My kids tried telling me to stay and help their father. I said that they were welcome to come over and help him with cleaning himself and the baby. Both declined what I felt was a fair offer.”

“I do not feel that I am acting badly; however, Roger, our children, his affair child’s family, and a few mutual friends think I am.”

“Perhaps writing this out and seeing the responses will give me clarity.”


Fellow Redditors weighed in:

  • NTA: Not the A**hole
  • YTA: You’re the A**hole
  • ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
  • NAH: No A**holes Here

Some reassured the OP that this mess was not her responsibility.


“Oooooo, the sheer audacity. I get that the baby is innocent, but this was NOT your affair, and it was CRUEL to leave you to care for the product of the affair.”

“The grandparents HAD NO RIGHT to be anything but grateful that you took care of THEIR grandson at all. You can see where the mother of the child got her attitude from, that’s who they SHOULD be disgusted with.”

“As for your ex, HE PUT HIMSELF IN THIS SITUATION. Why on Earth should you be burdened with his care?!?! What a slap in the face! Absolutely not.”

“NTA, and your children need to act like adults and see things for what they are, especially since they don’t want to take up the burden for their own blood relative themselves.” – Chance_Managert849

“NTA. That child was not your responsibility. Yes, it was innocent, but you’re literally not responsible for raising it. You should have divorced Roger long ago.” – TopAd7154

“Seriously, I would have called CPS anyway. Biodad/sperm donor can’t care for the baby, you’re on the way out and have no legal obligations to it, biomom skipped off to Spain so she can go live her best life or whatever, and the baby’s grandparents and half siblings think you’re the bad guy?”

“Nope. Mom’s a deadbeat, Dad’s sick, and you aren’t anything to this poor child.”

“Their first question would be, ‘Next of kin?’ And you could tell them, ‘Here’s a handy list of his grandparents and his half-siblings.’ Those are the people who actually have any legal standing for assuming care.” – jquailJ36

“NTA. But let me get this straight, though: is no one upset at the real mom who took off for Spain and left her kid? It seems like all the hostility is being misdirected toward you, who got dumped on more than once. You are doing the right thing.”

“At some point, the mom is more than likely going to show back up, want the kid and money to support it. Get away from that man as fast as you can.”

“As far as your kids go, it sounds like they think you have some responsibility to support the guy who cheated on you for life so they can enjoy theirs without that added burden. Hopefully, they will wake up and realize that is placing you in an abusive situation.”

“Wait until Roger passes, and they all want a part of the house and Little Miss Guess-Who (if she finds out) wants a piece for her kid too. I bet their opinions change real fast.” – Global_Walrus1672

“NTA. If you’re the only one dealing with this mess Roger created, nobody gets a say but you. Your kids don’t want to help, Roger can’t help. This child isn’t your problem or responsibility unless you make the child your problem or responsibility.”

“The child may be innocent, but you are too. You didn’t ask Roger to cheat on you and get another woman pregnant. You didn’t ask to take care of an affair baby.” – Vandreeson

“NTA. Not your child, not your blood, not your responsibility. There are blood relatives to take care of the child absolutely no need for you to, I have no idea why anyone expects you to. The child is better with blood relatives who love it, I don’t understand why others don’t see that.”

“Divorce your husband as soon as possible. He wasn’t your responsibility the minute he had an affair.”

“In my opinion, everyone else is just wanting you to look after the child and your husband so they don’t have to, and so their lives don’t have to change with navigating a divorce and such, but you’re not on this earth to carry other people’s responsibilities. You’ve raised your children, looked after your husband until he broke his vows and I’m sure you’ll help with grandchildren.”

“You’re a good person who can walk away with your head held high and refuse to discuss it as you have a clear conscience.” – AntSpiritual3269

“OP should just ask every single one of them what she did to deserve any of this and why she should be responsible for the mess that baby’s parents created? Ask her parents where that baby’s mother is and why OP is responsible for their daughter abandoning their grandchild? Then just wait for an answer. People love to pass judgment. It’s not them doing the work.” – Zestyclose_Control64

Others had some choice words for the baby’s biological mother.

“Geez, the baby’s own MOTHER abandoned him, and this woman is expected to take care of him because her husband FAFO’d? Yeah, she’s right to leave his sorry ass. NTA, big time!” – tripdaisies

“Why should OP step in and sacrifice for a baby that’s not hers, that’s being abandoned by their own mother? Baby is better off with people who love them and want to take care of them. I’m a mother myself, and I wouldn’t want my son to be treated indifferently at best.” – EatThisS**t

“The parents of the young lady who (checks notes) ABANDONED THE BABY are lecturing the woman whose husband their daughter affaired with and has a baby with, for being heartless for (checks notes) abandoning the baby their daughter abandoned?”

“I feel like they should be swallowed up by some sort of hypocrisy black hole.” – zendetta


“Not to mention you had to contact GRANDPARENTS to get said child so YOU DEFINITELY care MORE THAN BIRTH MOTHER about the wellbeing of this child.” – Gloomy-Republic-7163

“This baby has family, blood relatives. If it were up to CPS (and the father is incapacitated), they would likely give the child to these family members. Not OP. As for Roger, he made his bed. That other family needs to track down the selfish mother and tell her to get her a** back home and take care of her child.” – Momniscient

“I was so mad at the audacity of some people. Even after all that happened, she DID help him and the baby but enough is enough. She went above and beyond for someone who didn’t value her!”

“The baby is innocent, yes, but it should be with the family that will care for the baby and actually cares for the baby. OP, you are freaking amazing! Sorry, your kids are id**ts, and your ex will regret the day he f**ked up this marriage.”

“You did the best you could with the situation at hand! Bravo! Live your life! No regrets! And Karma is going to get the baby”s mom. You don’t just abandon a baby. SMH (shaking my head).” – nylexi81

“The parents of the homewrecker are just mad they raised a dumb child who got pregnant and then left them with a grandchild and an older than them biological father who might die and leave them nothing.”

“All in all, this will eventually be a hilarious situation, but the OP is coming out on top.”

“Divorce his a** FAST before he dies so you aren’t left splitting his finances/joint finances with the affair child.” – soxfan10

“I see four a**holes in the story:”

“1. Roger, for having an affair and getting someone, not his wife, pregnant.”

“2. The affair girl, for having an affair, getting pregnant, and then dumping her baby with the duplicitous person.”

“3. The affair girl’s parents, for being so rude to the OP.”

“4. OP’s kids, for expecting their mother to continue to help their dad even after such duplicitous behavior.”

“The only two non-a**holes are the OP and the baby, neither of which asked to be put in this mess.” – neelvk

The subReddit was disgusted by how the OP was being treated in a situation that was not her doing. Most admitted that they would have divorced after discovering the affair, and more would have divorced after discovering the baby was a result of the affair.

But being made responsible for the baby? Absolutely not.

The subReddit agreed it was time for the OP to start fresh, no matter what the people in her life thought.

Written by McKenzie Lynn Tozan

McKenzie Lynn Tozan has been a part of the George Takei family since 2019 when she wrote some of her favorite early pieces: Sesame Street introducing its first character who lived in foster care and Bruce Willis delivering a not-so-Die-Hard opening pitch at a Phillies game. She's gone on to write nearly 3,000 viral and trending stories for George Takei, Comic Sands, Percolately, and ÜberFacts. With an unstoppable love for the written word, she's also an avid reader, poet, and indie novelist.