Medical science has come a long way, but there are still a lot of things we don't know, especially when a patient has a condition that they don't have the right "profile" for, like being too young to be diagnosed with it.
That makes it especially important for parents to advocate for their children's health when they become concerned that something might really be wrong, pointed out the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Willing-Proof9758's ten-year-old daughter experienced a surprising and scary fall, which resulted in her also hitting her head multiple times, leaving them to seek out a medical reason for this to happen.
When their husband wasn't convinced that anything was wrong and even suggested that their daughter might have faked the fall, the Original Poster (OP) was furious and considered filing for divorce.
They asked the sub:
"Am I overreacting for wanting to divorce my husband because he was skeptical that our child had a medical emergency?"
The OP was terrified when her daughter fainted out of nowhere.
"Last night after dinner, my 10-year-old and I were watching a movie. She was lying down on the couch."
"She stood up, stretched, and then immediately fell forward onto the glass coffee table, hit her head, and then fell into the bottom tier of the glass table, hitting her head again."
"It happened so fast. Her body was limp, and I picked her up, and she came to almost immediately. She had clearly fainted, and I was terrified. "
"Not only did she faint out of nowhere, but she hit her head twice on a metal and glass table. She was immediately confused and started crying."
The OP's husband did not seem concerned.
"I called my husband in from outside, where he was watering the lawn, and told him we needed to take her to the hospital."
"He starts Googling and saying it’s common and not an emergency."
"My daughter is still crying and shaken up, and truthfully, she is scared about going to the hospital for the first time."
"I tell him I’m going anyway. He says he has some things to do outside, so I just put her in my car and have him follow after. He gets there a half hour after us."
"The ER was disappointing. We spent three hours there, and they weren’t able to tell us anything, just that she likely didn’t have a concussion, her EKG results were okay, and she was not dehydrated."
"I want to take her to urgent care today, because they did no labs, and I don’t think a 10-year-old faints out of nowhere."
Then the OP's husband suggested something that made them see red.
"This morning, I am still crying, thinking about how her body just went limp and gave out on her, and how scary it was."
"I can’t stop thinking about it, and I’m so worried."
"My husband asks me, 'Do you think she was faking it or making a joke? I did something like that around her age.'"
"I lost it. I told him if he felt that way, he could leave my home, and I told him he can’t be skeptical of our child that way, and that I’m taking her for additional medical care without him."
"I want to divorce him, quite frankly, and never see him again."
"Last night, when we were driving to the hospital, my daughter commented through tears, asking why didn’t he just leave the lawn and come with us; what if this was an emergency; she wanted him there with us."
"He’s not speaking to me, and I feel like I hate him."
"AIO?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NOR: Not Overreacting
- YOR: You're Overreacting
Some were concerned about the OP's husband's lack of concern about their daughter's health.
"NOR. His lack of empathy is chilling, and your daughter noticing his indifference is a heartbreak she will likely never forget." - WaveStock6
"If my child had lost consciousness and hit her head, and I didn't fit in the ambulance, I would be chasing that ambulance with my car."
"What the f**k, dude. There is calm, and then there is detached. Your children should understand that they're more important to you than the f**king LAWN." - ObscureSaint
"How could he ignore his daughter? My mom would be freaking out if she found out I had a cold or the flu, even though I am already married now. Poor little kid. Hugs for you, OP. May your family find a father that both of you deserve." - Iron26Ara
"His f**king, 'Uhhh, I'll just keep doing lawn work,' reaction after his kid just concussed herself is disgusting. I'd be seeing red, too."
"Now accusing her of faking? He's such a piece of s**t. NOR." - the-mortyest-morty
"If you’re thinking about divorce, I’m guessing this isn’t the first time he’s acted like this." - AsparagusOverall8454
"NOR. I’m sorry, in what world is that common? If I were you, I would push the issue, it could be a lot of things, and the fact that she collapsed again isn’t a great sign (in my opinion)."
"Your Husband is underreacting massively. This may turn into something more or be a one-time thing; either way, I’d want to know the exact cause."
"He’s also into boy-who-cried-wolf territory. Just because he lied and faked, doesn’t mean she did. And if it is attention seeking, that should be addressed, too." - SaltGoat7120
"I'd get him to text the thing about faking to me, so I could have it in writing for the divorce, so he'd get less custody."
"He's unsafe for the kid to be alone with. How would he handle a medical emergency if it were just him? He wouldn't have even known that she fell, hit her head, or woken her up because his precious lawn was soooo important." - ObscureSaint
"I can't imagine I would trust my husband to actually be a parent in a medical emergency if they acted like this."
"If my dad had this kinda apathy towards me as a kid, I'd have died of an asthma attack." - mangababe
Others advised the OP to follow up with their daughter's general practitioner or pediatrician to get answers.
"Your daughter fainting unexpectedly and hitting her head is a very valid reason to go to the ER, and it’s disappointing your husband didn’t seem more concerned. NOR for that."
"Divorce might be a little sudden, though. Does he have a history of underreacting or disbelieving you? Having a discussion when you are calmer might be useful to help him see why his reaction is upsetting and if it’s a one-off or a pattern."
"Now, for your daughter, an ER really is just a stabilization centre. I don’t know all the tests they did and if it actually was appropriate, but their job is to make sure she is okay enough to go on to the next doctor."
"If you are worried about why she fainted, follow up with your GP. It’s them or a specialist that will figure out what’s wrong. Not the ER."
"And also, I fainted a fair bit when I was younger. I usually overdid it and would grow faint, and young girls can have lower blood pressures or anemia if they are just starting their period. It’s good to look into it, but I grew out of it personally." - Fianna9
"I would add that urgent care is less equipped than an ER to run tests and that the best solution is to keep an eye on her over the weekend and to get a follow-up appointment with her doctor on Monday. Her actual doctor is able to do a lot more than either urgent care or the ER in this instance." - Sneakys2
"Not that I’m advocating for it, radiation is a valid concern, but a CT scan would be more diagnostically useful than labs to assess a head injury, and most urgent care facilities don’t have a CT scanner." - pegmatitic
"I had the same issue as a kid. Orthostatic hypotension, so I’d faint any time I stood up. Turned out I was anemic, and learned later that there was a strong family history of anemia. I take an iron supplement now." - chuffberry
"I was anemic and dehydrated (ah, life before water bottles lol). It got really bad when I started 'dieting' in high school to drop weight. It's faded as my periods have gotten lighter and I have access to water all the time, haha."
"Oh, adding: it could also be low blood sugar. Several members of my family had very low blood sugar as kids. There was nothing wrong, no diabetes or progression to being diabetic; their 'normal' was just very low (usually around the 50s on the US scale)."
"We were all taught to recognize the feeling of it going too low and grab something to eat or drink. Again, almost everyone outgrew it. This was all sorted out with the pediatrician, by the way." - Revolutionary-Yak-47
"Aside from the relationship part of this, try to get your daughter checked for hypoglycemia. Mine was discovered when I passed out randomly a few times while I was in high school. It was really scary until we knew what it was, what triggered it, and how to avoid it. Good luck figuring this out with your girl, mama." - Secure_Course_3879
"NOR! I agree! Afterthought, I was your daughter’s age when the same thing began happening, albeit infrequently. I got ZERO medical help (bad parents)."
"It wasn’t until I was in my 30s and finally arrested it myself that I was formally diagnosed with Low Blood Volume and POTS."
"Something to look into. Wishing you all the best with her health and your marriage." - V3ruca
It was concerning that the OP's husband was so dismissive of what happened and what it could mean for their daughter's health, to the point that he just turned his attention back to his lawn treatments.
But the fact that he later accused their daughter of faking it, simply because she didn't have a diagnosis yet and because he'd pranked people with his own medical needs at her age, was a recipe for disaster if she was ever home alone with him and had another experience like this.
u/Rosi_ana/Reddit
u/Rosi_ana/Reddit
