Mom Refuses To Cater To Son's Wheat Allergy Since He Keeps Sneaking Gluten Behind Her Back

There's no denying that food allergies inconvenience everyone, no matter their age.

However, managing allergies isn't always difficult, as long as you are extra careful as to what foods you keep in your house and what you are served at restaurants.

Managing an allergy can be particularly challenging if you are allergic to a food that you love.

Particularly if you are diagnosed late in life.

The son of Redditor Electronic-Code9834 was recently diagnosed with an allergy that required an immediate change to his diet.

Concerned for the health and safety of her son, the original poster (OP) made every effort to cater to his dietary needs. Unfortunately, the OP's son showed no interest or concern in adhering to his new dietary restrictions. Prompting the OP to change her attitude towards her son's allergies as well.

Wondering if she was being reckless for doing so, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:

"AITA for refusing to cook gluten free or take my near adult son out to eat?"

The OP explained why her attitude towards what her son ate became a bit more cavalier:

"My 17-year-old son was diagnosed recently with a wheat allergy."

"He had been battling gut issues for a few months, and we finally found that he can't have wheat."

"I immediately went into research mode."

"I read labels learned all names for wheat bought hundreds of dollars of food/snacks for him to try."

"I took him to Whole Foods and Organic Markets for hundreds more."

"I bought wheat alternative flours and began cooking gluten-free."

"He still had digestive issues."

"So back to dr."

"Only issue wheat."

"Come to find out, he's spending his paycheck at school on biscuits and gluten-filled snacks."

"He goes to a friend's house, and, bam, eats McDonald's and wheat-filled junk."

"The doc and I warned him that this is only mild-moderate, but it can get worse."

"He actually came home with urticaria and hives last weekend."

"He ate cake and pizza at a friend's."

"He's not 10 he's 17."

"I can't be with him everywhere and police every single thing he eats."

"He knows what wheat is and what to look for, and we literally learned together."

"The school said they won't cut him off even with a doctor note cause he's old enough to police himself."

"They provide alternatives, but he won't eat them."

"He's stubborn."

"Tonight we went out to a gluten-friendly restaurant, and I got him a gluten-free meal for 26 dollars (ours average 15-18)."

"I made sure he was good with the selection."

"He didn't eat it but instead snuck off others plates and snuck bread."

"My MIL is an enabler(just a bit won't bother him ten bites later)."

"He stunk up the car on the way home and tried to deny that he ate wheat, but the guy won't lie."

"He wants to stay home due to gut pain, but I'm getting peeved cause he's causing it."

"Am I an awful mom that if he's going to eat what he wants, I am just over making the effort and spending way extra money when he's not even following the diet?"

"I have been begging, trying, and cooking GF for over nine mos and have spent thousands trying to find what even I feel tastes pretty good alternative."

"I don't want to be an uncaring person, but I feel like I'm wasting time and money that we don't really have when it makes no difference."

"AITA?"

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:

• NTA – Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
• NAH – No A**holes Here

The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**Hole for no longer making an effort with her son's gluten allergy.

Everyone agreed that the OP seemed to have exhausted every effort and didn't need to try more tactics, even if some urged her to try and keep her house gluten-free, and others suggested she try even more severe methods:

"NTA, but have wheat free food options at the house."

"That said, as a person with celiac, these are all the things that are easy to have on hand, won't break the bank, and are wheat free:"

"Most potato chips (not pringles)."

"Tortilla chips."

"Salsa."

"Cheese."

"Eggs."

"Rice."

"Potatoes."

"Veggies."

"Corn tortillas."

"Most Lunch meats (boars head and Hormel label for wheat and gluten)."

"Progresso soups label for gluten."

"Yogurt."

"Cottage cheese."

"GF freezer waffles are around the same price as regular ones."

"They work for waffles, sandwiches and a base for individual pizzas."

"Rice Chex- all flavors."

"Obviously there's a lot more GF / wheat free food but a lot of Whole Foods are naturally wheat free and just keep stuff like that around."- ms_sinn

"I'm gluten free because I have celiac."

"I'm going NTA."

"Please stop buying GF alternatives and just stick with fruit, veg, protein, and rice."

"Your kid isn't taking this seriously and is causing him severe damage."

"Personally, I would take him back to the doctor for a sit-down."

"But, in the end you can't force him."

"It's really an annoying situation, but you are doing a good job."

"I suffered for years."

"I just don't understand why he would like being sick."

"Maybe therapy?"- edoyle2021

"Wow."

"I was ready to go into a whole rant, but um.. yeah...."

"NTA."

"Okay."

"First off, he is 17."

"Seventeen year olds are freaking idiots."

"I confidently say this because at 17, I was 100% an idiot and basically, every 17 year old I have ever met (including the one I have raised, 19 now) is an idiot."

"They will jump off the bridge because their friend did."

"Hell, they are the friend who jumped first!"

"They are frustrating, moody, hormonal, not yet adults."

"It sucks that he is making himself sick, especially when you are trying to support him, and it is an easy fix."

"I'm a fafo kinda mom, and all the kids around me (I say kids some are 24 with kids of their own I'm dying) know my line, 'make smart choices, and if you are going to make dumb choices, be smart about them'."

"Your son is being dumb about dumb choices."

"Might be time for some tough pull yourself up by the bootstraps kinda love."

"He is choosing to eat things that make him sick."

"To me, this is the same as drinking before you have to work and complaining all day of a hangover."

"It's time to suck it up."

"He played the game, time to pay the price."

"Life doesn't stop because he wants to eat the bread."

"School, work, chores, etc... don't disappear because he made a bad choice."

"It is time to deal with the consequences and push through the pain and learn a lesson."

"Or not, at a certain point, you have to let them figure their stuff out."

"Now the enabling Grandmother."

"It's time to have a serious talk with Nanna about how her grandbaby had a serious allergy."

"Bring up bee allergies and how it's similar (old people respond to bee allergy analogies) and make her understand she isn't helping or 'treating' her baby. She is physically harming him, and one bite is enough to cause damage."

"Good luck Mama, it's a tough spot."- apschizo

"This is a complicated issue, and I genuinely think you should go to therapy with him."

"He's choosing to poison himself, but that's very different from you doing it."

"If you stop doing gluten-free for meals that you know he's eating, then you're actively harming him."

"It's a tough line to tread."

"Something you could try is making him completely responsible for his own diet - you don't have to cook GF, but he's also not welcome to your food."

"He needs to cook his own food, buy his own groceries (or you can give him a budget), and manage himself."

"NTA but it's also his health, his choice."

"Just don't actively poison your kid."- EchoNeko

There were some who stood up for the OP's son, sharing how they can speak from experience that cutting out your favorite foods is hard and takes some time, but agreed that the OP was doing nothing wrong by not going to as great lengths as she had previously:

"NAH."

"I'm gluten-free and have been since I was a few years older than him."

"I can't fault him for what he's doing because going gluten-free is f*cking HARD."

"It took me a full year to even accept my diagnosis, and I only did it because one night I ate so much gluten that I was in incredible pain, had diarrhea for a week, and slept for 3 days straight."

"And wheat is in everything."

"Not just the obvious stuff, but also things like medicine, soy sauce, paper straws, lotions, it's all over."

"And now your son is looking at a future where he can't just get a pizza with friends; he can't go out for beers with friends because the bar might not offer gluten-free stuff, where he has to watch literally every single thing he puts in his body."

"He won't be able to randomly go out to eat with friends without researching a restaurant first; he'll be alienated by people who don't understand his allergy, possibly even mocked by them."

"He will have to learn to be his biggest advocate when it comes to food, and that can be really hard for a lot of people, especially when it's going to so often mean he has to go against what everyone else wants."

"Oh and the gluten free replacement options?"

"Most of them are f*cking terrible."

"So not only does he have to say goodbye to the good pastries, he gets to look forward to a future of small, dry, crumbly bread."

"What I'm saying is: he needs either to go to therapy or to find some kind of food allergy support group so he can have people his age to relate to."

"People who know what he's going through and can help him learn to make better decisions."

"It's one thing to go through it with the support of your parents, but unless you have the same allergy as him it's not entirely possible to relate to what he's going through."

"Now on to you, my biggest suggestion is this: stop spending so much money on this diet."

"I've been gluten-free for over 15 years, and I'm telling you, it doesn't need to be this expensive."

"Just buy stuff that is naturally wheat-free."

"Meat, beans, fruits, vegetables, rice, etc."

"Baked goods that require gluten-free flour should sometimes be a treat, but not enough to break the bank."

"If you want snacks for him, buy snacks that the whole family can eat instead of just buying stuff for you and separate stuff for him."

"I get it that you want the best for him, but you don't need to be spending so much money to do that."

"As for not cooking for him anymore, I'm going to be honest with you: while he lives at your house, that's his home, and his home needs to be a place that is safe for him."

"I get that it's frustrating, but having access to a place that's safe for him to eat will be hugely important in him learning to accept his allergy."

"You should also involve him in the cooking if you aren't already--help him learn how to safely prepare his own food and how to find alternatives that he likes."

"Maybe he'll be more inclined to eat safe food if he knows how to prepare it himself."

'Also, start sending him to school with a packed lunch."

"There is literally no way that a school kitchen can provide him with safe, non-cross-contaminated options."- CaptainFartHole

One would think that being frequently sick would be enough for the OP's son to kick her habit.

But it seems to be worth it to him if it means he can keep eating his favorite foods.

While the OP is right that she has probably exhausted her options, perhaps it's time to leave it to the professionals, as many Redditors have suggested.