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New Mom Refuses To Let Husband Take A ‘Morning Off’ From Their Baby On The Weekends

Dad holds sleeping baby over his shoulder

Figuring out a sleep schedule when you’re new parents can be a highly stressful situation.

Everybody needs rest.

And every baby needs attention.

Throw in work and school and life and it can all come crumbling down.

Case in point…

Redditor tireddad667 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

He asked:

“AITA for asking for a morning off from my baby on the weekends?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“My wife and I have a six month old baby girl.”

“She’s mostly a S[tay] A[t] H[ome] M[om].”

“She works two half days a week and her sister watches the baby.”

“I work full time and go to school one day a week.”

“We’ve always had an arrangement where she takes care of the household duties (cooking, cleaning, and now baby care) while I happily support her monetarily.”

“Honestly, we are both living our dream life and my wife does an absolutely spectacular job taking care of me and our little one.”

“On the weekends, we share baby duty.”

“We usually make sure each of us gets our own alone time to do whatever we want.”

“However, our girl has hit a bit of a sleep regression, waking up every two hours–since my wife breast feeds, she’s always taken care of the baby full time overnight.”

“She’s a light sleeper and unfortunately has insomnia, whereas I am a deep sleeper and wouldn’t wake up for baby cries anyways.”

“Recently my wife has been asking me to wake up with the baby both days on the weekends so she can get an extra hour of sleep.”

“Baby wakes up around 7am.”

“I get the baby dressed and take over for that hour.”

“But sometimes, I want to be the one that gets to sleep in an extra hour.”

“I brought this up to her and she says while she’s happy to let me nap during the day, she really needs that hour because she can’t nap like I can.”

“We got into an argument about it, and she said I’m being very insensitive when I know she is very exhausted.”

“And can’t nap during the day and she struggles going back to sleep every time the baby wakes up.”

“But I’m exhausted too, work wears me out, and school days are long… and I sometimes want the hour in the morning.”

“I don’t want to spend my off time napping, I want to play videogames and chill out.”

“I’ve gotten mixed opinions on who is in the wrong here, or if there even is anyone in the wrong.”

“AITA for asking us to share mornings off for sleep?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP WAS the A**hole.

“YTA, if she’s taking all the night duty because you don’t wake up, then you get the morning duty when you do wake up so she can catch up on her lost sleep in the night.”

“You want a morning off, give her a night off.”  ~ Solaris_0706

“I was so close to giving a NAH because new babies and sleep is hard, but then we got to ‘video games.'”

“Nope! YTA OP! You can’t have both nights and mornings.”

“And your video game time might have to just suffer for a while.”  ~ bloseja

“My vote for YTA was confirmed when he said he doesn’t want to spend his free time napping.”

“If you, OP, did not want to make sacrifices personally, physically, financially, emotionally, and mentally, then you should not have had a child.”

“I hope you get a grip on this and sort out your priorities so that this baby has a healthy 18 years living with you.”  ~ rosecolured

“When my husband and I started talking about having a baby, we decided to get a cat instead.”

“He gets the morning feeding, I get the late night feeding and the kids (we have from previous relationships) get all the in between feedings as needed.”

“No one’s complaining as he gets to play video games and I get to sleep in. Win win.”  ~ toootired2care

“While I agree with you, it’s just to a certain point.”

“EVERYONE needs to vent once in a while.”

“Just because my toddler is being a nightmare and having constant tantrums and meltdowns and I complain about it, that doesn’t mean I love my toddler less.”

“It means I’m a human with my own auditory and touch processing issues and the constant clinginess and whining is a lot.”

“All that being said, OP definitely gets a YTA from me because I know exactly what it’s like parenting with someone who ‘wants their free time.'”

“But can never be bothered to give me help until I’ve had a complete screaming fit and did whatever I needed help with myself whether I can physically handle whatever the issue was or not.”

“Your partner needs help, you f**king help them. It’s not ‘wait until this match is over!'”  ~ Stucky7418

“I suspect that OP’S wife never gets to nap or stay up late on the computer, gaming or doing whatever, as she has to be on call all night and first thing in the a.m at least 6 days a week.”

“This dude seems to have weekend days free to nap or game or do whatever he feels like, ‘Wah, Wah, I have to get up for an hour to look after my child and it messes up my nap and game time Wah Wah.'”

“I have done both sides: working full time and being a SAHM for an infant and I can assure you, the SAHM job is 20 times more exhausting.”

“I also nursed my baby and he was very colicky so he nursed every 2 hrs in the night and didn’t nap in the day.”

“I was totally exhausted as I’m sure your wife is.”

“You try getting up every 2 hrs every single night for a week then stay up all day for 1 week then come back and tell us you deserve to sleep in over your wife.”

“You should be getting up both mornings and give Jr a bottle so your wife gets to sleep until 10 or 11am.”

“Then when she takes Jr, you should race to the kitchen and cook her breakfast.”

“I guess everyone knows how I’m voting but just to formalize it YTA!!”  ~ Tobywillygal

“He doesn’t want to spend his time napping because he wants to sleep in and doesn’t need the extra nap anyway because he doesn’t do overnights.”

“He’s basically not losing any sleep.”

“And doesn’t want to give his wife, who suffers from insomnia AND does baby care overnight, 2 measly hours on the weekend.”

“He is absolutely YTA here.”

“Definitely agree with this.”  ~ DJKittyK

“Nothing wrong with liking to play video games but you shouldn’t prioritize it over your spouse’s literal welfare.”

“Plus this is just a temporary phase, so it’s not like he won’t be able to get back to his more usual weekend routine once the baby gets a little older and starts sleeping through the nights again.”

“Sacrifices must be made when you have a kid.”

“And it should be both parents shouldering that load, not just one. YTA.”  ~ lasting-impression

“Oh dear God. YTA.”

“She is up aaaaall night.”

“She does not get breaks like you in the week.”

“She is asking you to get up at 7.”

“A defined time. Go to bed earlier if this is an issue.”

“She is surviving.”

“I doubt she is living her ‘dream life’ if this small request has been so poorly supported by you.”  ~ DrMamaBear

“The use name of OP is just ‘tired dad?!'”

“He sleeps every f**king night!”

“Why is he tired? Just because one hour?”

“Maybe his wife should wake him every two hours for one week, then he sees what tired is. YTA.”  ~ EvilFinch

“That is my thinking.”

“She should wake him up with her and the baby at midnight, 2:00, 4:00, and 6:00, pull on his nipples for half an hour each time, then let him go back to sleep for the whopping 90 minutes in between.”

“Maybe he’ll understand why she’s asking for that extra hour.”

“OP is a massive a**hole. Massive.” ~ uncreativeshay

“My ex tried this with me and it was my psychologist that gave him the come to Jesus talk – that in her experience the number one thing that contributed to post natal depression was lack of sleep.”

“More sleep would immediately alleviate symptoms.”

“OP step up. Take the mornings. YTA.”  ~ Distinct-Inspector-2

“YTA. Having a baby is not a time of your life for having time for yourself.”

“All of your energy needs to go to your baby, your spouse, and your home.”

“If that means you have to give up video games, that’s what you do.”

“You are now a parent.”

“Once everything is taken care of, and that includes laundry and dishes, then you can sit down and play video games.”  ~ HobbittBass

“Holy crap, OP is definitely TA, I can’t believe he doesn’t wake up a SINGLE TIME ALL NIGHT and has the audacity to complain about ‘losing his mornings.'”

“Guess what dude, when the kid gets older they don’t sleep in any later.”

“My 4-year-old wakes us up at 6:30 am on Saturday and Sunday mornings.”

“Sometimes my husband and I alternate who gets to sleep in but most of the time we both just adult the fuck up and get up and start our day.”  ~ kortiz46

Well OP, Reddit is not sounding keen on your thoughts about sleep.

Surely a a workable sleep schedule can be worked out.

Baby won’t have this problem for ever.