Neighbors can be an absolute blessing and fun addition to anyone’s living experience, but admittedly, they can also be a serious pain.
Especially when someone gets really fixated on noises coming from another apartment, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor yasminrainbowspirit was constantly concerned about the noises they heard coming from their downstairs neighbor’s apartment as soon as they discovered she worked from home.
But when they were criticized for how they were handling the situation, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if they were in the wrong.
They asked the sub:
“AITA for asking my neighbor to move her craft room to a different bedroom?”
The OP’s new neighbor ran a crafting business at home.
“My husband and I live in an upstairs 3-bedroom flat and the flat below us is the same layout.”
“The house has been for sale for a while and recently a woman bought it.”
“It turns out she doesn’t have any children, so I found it strange she bought a 3-bedroom house, but I soon found out it’s because she runs a craft business from home and needs 2 bedrooms to run it.”
“The problem is, unfortunately, she has decided to use the main bedroom, which is below us, as her main craft room.”
The OP became more frustrated once the neighbor was settled in.
“At first, it was fine as she hadn’t fully moved in, but now it’s driving me crazy.”
“She’s in that room almost all day, and I can hear her walking about and the faint noise of machines.”
“I don’t spend long in my bedroom during the day, but when I do go in, it just annoys me knowing she’s there constantly.”
“Like why can’t she have picked one of the smaller bedrooms since she knows the kids are at school all day?”
“She always stops using her embroidery and sewing machines until 7 PM, but she’s told me she can sit up until 10 PM some nights finishing off orders, which plays on my mind.”
“I go to bed at 9 PM, and I can’t sleep for hours as I lie there, listening for her every move.”
“Just knowing she’s awake and walking about drives me crazy as I find it so selfish someone would buy a flat and work from home.”
The OP’s husband did not agree with their concerns.
“My husband says he can barely hear a thing during the day and I need to calm down.”
“He also doesn’t see the big deal about her using her house as she pleases.”
“Yesterday I finally had enough and went to her door. I told her how I was feeling about everything and how I can hear the faint noise of her machines.”
“She apologized and invited me inside to show me her setup.”
“All her machines are on some sort of anti-vibration padding to stop as much noise as possible, so she claims the noise should be minimal, and that you need to expect some noise from neighbors.”
“I told her I don’t make any noise and that’s when things took a turn as she said she can hear my kids running around and jumping off furniture all evening, but she would never dream of complaining, because it’s just one of those things when you share a building with other people.”
“I left before I said anything else I regretted and I thought that was the end of it.”
“But today my husband came home from working overnight and asked if I had said anything to the woman downstairs as she was very cold and blunt with him when he said hello.”
“I told him what happened and he said I’m a massive a**hole.”
“I’ve spoken to a couple of my friends who think I’ve handled this completely wrong and I’m a bit of an a**hole for it, but I don’t see what else I could have done.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some said the OP was wrong to judge their neighbor’s noises or working from home.
“My god, the absolute entitlement in this post. It’s faint noise, and she’s working really hard to make sure that the noise doesn’t disturb anyone regardless.”
“You do have to put up with some noise when you choose to live in a building with other people, and that’s just the name of the game.”
“She’s not throwing a party, she’s not stomping around, she’s not up absurdly late.”
“As someone incredibly sensitive, who herself has lived beneath some of the rudest, noisiest neighbors, you’re acting ridiculous.”
“Invest in some earplugs, play some music, leave the house, maybe go outside and touch some grass.”
“She’s free to use the space as she wants, especially if the noise is faint to the point where you’re the only one who notices and fixates on it.”
“This sounds like much more of a you problem that you need to work on than something that she needs to fix.” – ttt_tia123
“As if OP isn’t also awake and using their own flat!! It’s especially ridiculous to complain about someone working from home in their own home if you’re someone who is home a lot during the day, which it sounds like OP is.”
“By their own logic, they’re a giant a**hole for being home and using their own flat during the day instead of going out all day.” – MostlyComplete
“YTA. ‘I find it so selfish that someone would buy a flat and work from home.’ What? You’re a massive AH.”
“She can do whatever she wants in her own home. Or would you rather she sat there in silence on the dole?” – famineontheland
“That is just apartment living. If you live in apartments, it is just something you have to get used to. I hear all kinds of things living in an apartment from people showering to people moving stuff around like a piece of furniture which is probably just a chair they moved to sit on but it sounds like they are rearranging everything.”
“It’s just something that is going to happen when you live in apartments. I once had the police called on me because I woke up at about 4 am and needed to pee.”
“I got out of bed went and peed and went back to bed. I got a knock on my door from the police a few minutes later because someone called the police saying I was screaming and jumping up and down.”
“Either they got the apartment wrong or they just heard me walking to my bathroom and back to bed and called the police which is more likely. It sucks but you just have to deal with it.” – Truffleshuffle03
Others were concerned by the OP’s potential obsession with the neighbor.
“I honestly think she might need therapy more than anything. Her obsession with this woman making any little bit of sound is not healthy.”
“I won’t armchair diagnose, but it sounds a lot like me when I get really bad in an anxious spell. Any little stimulation sets me off.” – beckdawg19
“I have pretty nasty anxiety, and living in apartments was just not doable for me. When my husband and I were finally able to get a house in a very rural area, half my chronic health problems basically disappeared because I was finally able to eat, sleep, and relax properly.”
“Being surrounded by people was like a physical weight on my chest when I lived in apartments.”
“But it’s so important not to blame other people for just… existing. People are allowed to exist.” – Jazmadoodle
“It’s even more disturbing when you realize she is listening FOR her every move, not to. She is anticipating it, not reacting to it. Seems like an unhealthy fixation…” – mrstaeger
While the OP was convinced they were right to be upset about the neighbor’s work-from-home business, the subReddit did not agree.
It’s totally normal to hear some noise from the neighbors, and being upset about a work-from-home situation, especially at this time, is far from reasonable.