Two very important but seemingly unrelated topics: grocery prices and body positivity.
What do they have in common?
For Redditor Wrong_Psychology5461 quite a bit, actually.
The Original Poster’s (OP’s) girlfriend is quickly going through their groceries to the point that he can’t eat for a few days before his next paycheck.
He finally lost it, which is when she brought up body positivity or his lack thereof.
The entire interaction had the OP running to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).
He asked,
“AITA for yelling at my gf to stop eating everything?”
He went on to explain.
“My [28-year-old male] gf [26-year-old female] got laid off about six months ago. She has been unemployed ever since.”
“This means money is tight. I am covering all of our rent, utilities, groceries, etc. Everything except for her car payment and gas money.”
“My problem is that my gf keeps eating all of our food. Like, all of it.”
“We always run out of food money before my paycheck comes in. She’ll eat everything she wants and leave me with plain crackers or lettuce. I mean, everything.”
“Even stuff I’ve specifically labeled or said I want. The cupboards will be bare, and I’ll have to skip meals three days before my next paycheck because she’s eaten everything.”
“She’s probably gained nearly thirty pounds since she was let go.”
“I came home from work for lunch the other day and brought each of us a Subway sandwich.”
“I only ate half of mine, so I popped it in the fridge and told her I’d just have it for dinner. When I got off work and went to get it, she’d already eaten it.”
“It really got out of hand when I bought some cupcakes to give to my sister [17-year-old female] for her birthday and some pomegranate juice that I really love but can’t often have because it’s a little bit expensive.”
“I put them in the fridge, told her not to touch them, and both were gone. There was only one cupcake left out of a box of four full-sized ones, and my juice was all gone.”
“I lost it. I screamed at her to stop f*cking eating everything I buy.”
“We’ve had this conversation before or tried to in a polite way, but she shuts me down and denies it. She says she’s hungry, and she’s stressed from being unemployed, and she can’t help it.”
“I yelled at her and told her it was disgusting that I can’t leave food in my own home. She started crying and telling me I’m ‘fat shaming her.’”
“AITA?”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
-
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided:
“NTA.:
“They sell fridge lockboxes, and if she can’t be trusted to leave your food in peace, then maybe it has to be locked away from her.”
“It’s not fat shaming to tell someone to stop behaving as if they are 3/4 locust.” – MelodyRaine
“She ate a birthday gift for your sister, and you’ve had to go without meals 100% NTA” – spacesloth0212
“Okay, but why doesn’t she have a job? Every freaking gas station, fast food place, and retail store is hiring anymore!”
“She needs to get herself a job as a place filler until she can get back to whatever she actually wants to do… Whatever her career is.”
“But she needs to do something with her time other than sit around for six months eating everything and gaining 30 pounds! That’s not healthy, mentally or physically!” – Squirrel-mama
“NTA. It sounds like you reached a breaking point.”
“Also, idk where you’re from, but if your healthcare provides for nominees and covers mental health – consider suggesting a therapist.”
“To me, this sounds like a disordered binge eating (mandatory disclaimer: this is not a diagnosis. I have no educational background to claim this, just speaking from experience)” – minimalwhale
“She’s literally making you skip meals, and you tried talking about it with her politely before. NTA” – Too-Paranoid
“NTA- she is TA. She doesn’t seem to give two shxts whether you get to eat or not.”
“Who the hell eats 3 full-sized cupcakes in a matter of hours, as well as drinks an entire jug of juice? Why didn’t she go get a new job when she got let go?”
“I have lost jobs and started a new job 3 days later. I would be just as annoyed as you man.”
“It’s insane that she would deliberately eat and drink the stuff that you specifically told her not to.”
“Did she expect you to be overwhelmed with happiness when you opened the fridge and found that your shxt was all gone?” – Budget_Mouse_7858
“I don’t think the yelling was the way to go but you weren’t fat shaming her. You’re freaking going without food while she’s eating more than her share.”
“NTA.”
“I had a significant other like this and it’s AWFUL. Being strapped for cash is hard enough but being hungry on top of it? Noooo.” – Stole_My_Conspiracy
“NTA. Kick her out and be done with it.” – woollyviolet
“NTA: THis is out of your paygrade.”
“Your girlfriend is stress eating. Is she getting unemployment? Can she use that money to buy her own food? This is clearly food insecurity.”
“I’d apologize for yelling but you’re not wrong for being upset that she’s eating all of your food.” – blockparted
“NTA – she’s not contributing and also eating all the food leaving you nothing. I’d scream at her too. If she’s bored and stressed, she can go for a walk instead of eating everything.”
“You also weren’t fat shaming her. You were calling out her gluttony. And sometimes the truth hurts.”
“She’s trying to deflect her role in this by pulling out the fat-shaming card.” – StrawberryPincushion
“Absolutely NOT the a**hole. If she can’t respect you and your wishes, she needs to go. Tell her to get off the pity pot and start respecting your wishes or she can find her a** a new place to live.” – njazrael71
“Her: I can’t find a job that feels right.”
“Her: Eats birthday cupcakes not for her.”
“Him: I haven’t eaten in three days”
“Her: Stop fat shaming me!”
“NTA”
“OP, love doesn’t look like that. She would rather you go hungry for THREE DAYS than her work a job she doesn’t like?”
“Consider the situation carefully.” – unconventionalantics
“I have read your comments and your post and I am starting to think she has a lot she is not sharing with you. For example:”
“‘She was the assistant manager at a home building center. She won’t tell me exactly why she got let go, but she claims it’s because her boss is a d*ck (her words).’”
“Sure, bosses can be d*cks, but something doesn’t sound right with this. But regardless, you’re NTA.”
“Furthermore, while I understand breaking up isn’t the go-to answer for everything, you might want to think about this being an option. You should never have to starve like this.” – OddAcanthisitta9321
“So she doesn’t work, doesn’t want to find a job and eats all your food.”
“I understand she may be having mental health issues, but if she is, she needs to do what she can to address them.”
“Do you live together?”
“NTA” – mdthomas
“NTA”
“I’m giving you a pass on screaming because going hungry for days can impact emotional regulation.”
“The problem isn’t her weight. The problem is you have a tight budget, and her overeating means you are starving yourself.”
“Right now, your partner is making choices that hurt you.”
“If you have a food bank nearby, I HIGHLY encourage you to use them. She needs to get a job. ANY job. If the stress is from being unemployed, getting a job needs to be a priority.”
“‘and she can’t help it.’”
“Bullsh*t. There are very few situations where this is the case. And if she is gaining weight, it isn’t hunger; it’s emotional eating. (Or eating out of boredom.)”
“I actually think you starving for three days is a much bigger deal than the cupcakes and drink, but I understand how that can be the last straw – because it was a gift.” – Kettlewise
“Screaming at her was inappropriate, but asking her to move out would not be. It’s time. You’re going hungry, and she is eating your food on purpose and out of spite. This is abusive.”
“NTA, because it sounds like you are at your breaking point– starving does this to you!– and she is clearly the bigger a**hole.” – candycoatedcoward
“NTA, but she def is.”
“Even if stress-/emotional binge eating and whatnot is a real thing, she needs to realize how severe it’s gotten and try to find some way to cope better than claiming you’re fat shaming her for expecting to have your basic nutritional needs met and having your boundaries respected.”
“I’d consider getting a lock for the fridge or something, even though she clearly needs some effective coping tools.” – N0bother
“NTA if she isn’t looking for a job, you need to end the relationship.”
“She is likely depressed but that is no excuse for her eating your sister’s birthday gift & forcing you to go hungry. This relationship isn’t working out.” – winesis
“Hangry” takes on a whole new meaning after this post.