Public transportation can be more bloodthirsty than “The Hunger Games.”
Seating issues can become a cage match.
Redditor Quizzicalnonsense wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA for ‘kicking a pregnant woman out of her seat?'”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Ok, so this happened a few hours ago, and I’ve only just calmed down because I hate conflict.”
“Basically, I was doing a long travel day (5-ish hours), so I booked my train in advance to ensure that I had a reserved seat.”
“When I got on the train, there was a woman in my seat.”
“So I politely informed her that I think that’s my seat and showed her my ticket and asked her to move.”
“She checks her ticket and just says well, I must have sat in the wrong seat and put her head down.”
“I say that it’s my seat and could I please sit in it?”
“At this point, her partner sitting opposite her starts speaking at me in what I perceive to be an aggressive tone.”
“He suggests I find another seat( which there are none because it’s busy), and I say, but I booked that seat, and there are no other available seats in the carriage.”
“He then raises his voice and says well, someone else is in our seats, and that his missus is pregnant.”
“I say I understand and that I have a heart defect (which I do) and said everyone has their own medical issues and reasons standing for long periods of time might be difficult.”
“And here I could be the a**hole.”
“I ask him not to speak to me in an aggressive tone and that I will make a complaint.”
“He then starts swearing at me, and I ask him to stop.”
“Eventually, the woman gets up and allows me to sit there, and he continues to berate me, saying he hopes I feel good for myself and that I’m quiet now I have my seat when really I just stopped engaging as I felt there was no point.”
“One of the men who was sitting beside him offered that he and his partners sit in the seats opposite me (it’s a table seat) at which point he sat his partner down and then laughed at me and pointed in my face.”
“Eventually, when the ticket inspector comes around, they are asked to move to their assigned seats, and she asks if I’m ok as another passenger had made a complaint on my behalf.”
“Should I have just left them alone as she was pregnant?”
“And did I in any way escalate the situation?”
The OP was left to wonder:
“So was I the a**hole?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. There’s no reason why the husband, as the healthy one, should have stayed in his seat.”
“It’s ridiculous that after hearing that you have a heart defect, he didn’t get out of his seat and give it to his wife, allowing you to take yours.”
“Even if they couldn’t sit in their seat,s there was no reason for her to have yours.”
“The husband was being a selfish a**.” ~ kurokomainu
“Exactly! The husband had the perfect opportunity to be considerate—he could have given his seat to his wife and let OP have the seat they rightfully reserved.”
“Instead, he chose to be confrontational and rude. OP wasn’t wrong for standing their ground, especially given their own medical condition.”
“If anything, the real issue here is people feeling entitled to take seats they didn’t book and then getting aggressive when asked to move.” ~ ThawNeaw
“What gets me is since he was so aggressive with OP about his pregnant wife needing to sit, why didn’t he get that way with whoever stole their original seats?”
“You would think that he would have flipped out on them for not moving since she needed a seat.”
“It would just make more sense to me if he went off on them for stealing a seat from a pregnant lady instead of the person that just wanted the seat they paid for.”
“It just doesn’t make sense to me that if he had that much of a temper he would let that slide and get mad at OP.” ~ cara1888
“This. I’m pregnant and there’s no chance I wouldn’t move out of someone’s assigned seat the first time I was asked, and no chance my husband would make a scene like that.”
“He’d just stand if it meant I could sit.”
“These two mishandled this and counted on OP feeling too embarrassed to claim the seat they had booked. NTA.” ~ Sea_Kangaroo826
“NTA. The self-entitlement was strong with this couple, and it reads as though you were as reasonable as you could be.”
“Love the fact they were escorted to their proper seats.” ~ OnlymyOP
“Damn, I hate bully behavior.”
“You paid for your seat, that’s how the system works.”
“They know they were in the wrong and were being a**holes about it.”
“Clearly he could have given up his seat, or they could have done the radical idea of sitting in their assigned seats.”
“This 1000% had nothing to do with you. You were just the person they wanted to bully to get their way.”
“Don’t give them the satisfaction of wasting another thought on their crap behavior. NTA.” ~ NewWayBack
“NTA. You should have summoned for assistance as soon as these two refused to cooperate so they could have been escorted to their proper seats (or kicked off the train).”
“Pregnancy does not excuse poor manners for both expectant mother or baby daddy.” ~ NCKALA
“NTA, I had this same situation happen to me, and I generally reserved a seat as well. I had someone in my seat and asked them to move.”
“They said they couldn’t because someone was sat in their seat, and the guy said he had a heart condition.”
“This was a man and woman sitting together.”
“‘No worries! Me too, what seats were you?'”
“They appeared flustered and pointed to some seats a few rows back vaguely but wouldn’t say the numbers but the general direction was enough.”
“‘Great, I’ll grab a staff member and ask them to move those other people to their seats so you can have yours back.'”
“The man tried to stop me but I had left pretty quickly.”
“When I came back with the staff member, the man had vacated three rows up.”
“At this point, the staff member asked everyone to check their seat numbers and tickets and to ensure everyone was sat in the right seats.”
“My husband told me I shouldn’t have gotten the staff member involved, but my mentality is that if this was a chain reaction from someone sitting in their seat, to begin with.”
“Then the people who took their seats to begin with should move so the couple could have their original booked seats back, and I would get mine.”
“I genuinely don’t think someone was in his seat.”
“As the location he moved to was further away than indicated, but I suspect he was aiming for a seat near the door as my row was the row directly in front of the entrance, whereas he was much further down and away from the door/entrance.” ~ Alisana
“NTA. I’m pregnant.”
“You know what I’d do if I needed to travel and would require a seat?”
“Book one myself.”
“Also, in the event that we couldn’t book one, there’s no way my husband would sit there.”
“He’d do the decent thing and forgo sitting for his pregnant wife.”
“They were acting like entitled AHs, you were totally correct.” ~ Tinywrenn
“Do you hate yourself?”
“Because seriously… You would have to be filled with self-loathing to even possibly think you were the a**hole in that situation. NTA.” ~ ReservedPickup12
“NTA. If she and her angry partner had just taken their own seats in the 1st place this wouldn’t have been an issue.”
“At this point, the seat stealing everywhere has gotten so ridiculous that I think anyone caught doing it should just be removed from whatever transport they are trying to steal seats on and made to purchase another seat on the next available transport.”
“Maybe that will be penalty enough to deter this going forward.” ~ DeviantDe
“NTA. The man/husband/partner was absolutely horrible.”
“There’s a difference between being concerned for your wife and being a terrible human being.”
“The fact that he laughed and pointed at you??”
“That fact alone sealed the deal.”
“You were abused and did nothing wrong.”
“The only thing I would have done would be to get the staff involved, but that would have escalated the situation even more.”
“But you didn’t (and don’t!!) deserve to be abused!”
“Even if you were asking for the wrong seat, that doesn’t justify that man’s actions.”
“Definitely NTA.”
“Sending hugs, OP.” ~ star_gazing_girl
“NTA. She’s pregnant, not a make-a-wish child.”
“Just cause she raw dogged some guy doesn’t give her a hall pass to do or act however she wants.”
“I’d be a lot more understanding if she said something like ‘I’m so sorry do you mind if I stay here?'”
“‘It’s really difficult for me to stand up right now.'” ~ Commercial_Tooth_820
“NTA. If a doctor asks you to give up your seat because they need the space to treat her then you would do it.”
“If they just want your seat that you booked because that is better for them, then, yeah, almost nobody would do that.” ~ mlc885
“Dear OP, please do not allow other’s ridiculousness to impact you.”
“You were 100% correct in your response, and that man was a bully.”
“If he wanted to ensure his pregnant wife’s comfort, he should have booked the seat she needed – as you did for yourself! – or at least given her his seat.”
“For him to expect someone else to give up a seat (esp a woman who has heart issues) while he continued to sit on his a** was wildly entitled, and berating you was aggressive and mean.”
“He not only upset you but probably his wife (imagine what she’s dealing with on the daily!) and obviously other passengers as one reported the harassment!”
“Keep standing up for yourself – no pun intended. NTA.” ~ JustWatchin2021
“NTA. If mister ‘my-lady-is-pregnant’ wanted her to sit, he could lift his a** and let her sit instead of cursing at a stranger who had every right to make demands.”
“You were polite and gave them a chance to act like normal people who could mistakenly sit in the wrong places (it happens), but they chose to be entitled pricks for which pregnancy is not an excuse.”
“Don’t worry about it much.” ~ Brilliant-Ability301
“NTA. You seem very sweet, to be worried about this.”
“Dumba** husband picked you to be aggro with rather than the people who’d taken their seats because he thought you were an easier mark.”
“Good job that several of your fellow passengers and staff helped you prove him wrong.” ~ ecosynchronous
“NTA. It sounds like they had seats and either wanted the table seat for some reason or when they got to their seats someone was in them (which happens).”
“But they needed to either tell the person, ‘Sorry, but it’s their seat’ or ‘they’ll grab a different seat until someone comes for that seat, at which time they’ll need their assigned seat.'”
“Some people are willing to do the second.”
“Heck, I’ve done it.”
“Especially when someone is getting off at the next stop, or it’s not a crowded train.”
“But if it’s a crowded train, you have to then actually go and get your seat back when someone comes for the seat you took.”
“You can’t force someone to stand just because you don’t want to be the person who kicks someone out of your seat.” ~ rak1882
“I wish people would stop treating pregnancy as some sort of get-out-of-jail-free/get-your-own-way-at-all-times card.”
“NTA. They’re capable of arguing with you over your seat; they’re capable of arguing with whoever took theirs.” ~ This_Rom_Bites
“NTA. It’s your seat.”
“People should stop using pregnant as an excuse.”
“Was he pregnant too that his partner couldn’t sit in the seat he was sitting it?”
“Make sure you make a complaint.” ~ essbeetwo
OP came back with an update.
“As I don’t know how able I’ll be to respond to all the comments, thank you sincerely to everyone who has engaged with this post.”
“I’ve learned a lot about myself and my ability to let anxiety and overthinking get in the way of trusting my decisions.”
“I honestly came into writing this thinking that I escalated the situation, so to have people affirm that it’s just standing my ground and that that is alright has been really gratifying.”
“It has taught me, however, that I have a way to go with standing up for myself and not being such a people pleaser.”
“If I don’t get to respond, just know I appreciate your engagement with my post nonetheless, and this has really helped to calm me and give me insight after an incredibly stressful situation.”
Reddit had your back, OP.
You stood your ground.
Be proud!
Bullies are everywhere.
And they rely on silence.
Keep speaking up.