Sometimes people just can’t help but be cruel.
The cruelty is often delivered under the guise of… “It was just a joke!”
But words can hurt because words have power.
And people tend not to realize that when one speaks there can be consequences.
That’s why it’s usually considered a good idea to think before speaking.
Redditor fyilol wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA for refusing to let my sister live with me after she insulted my daughter?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (34 M[ale]) have a 10-year-old daughter, Sora.”
“She’s an incredible kid, but unfortunately, she was born with a condition that affects her speech and movement.”
“My family has always been supportive, except for my sister (29 F[emale]), who has been quite insensitive over the years.”
“Recently, my sister went through a rough divorce and asked if she could move in with us for a few months to get back on her feet.”
“At first, I agreed, because, despite her faults, she’s my sister.”
“However, at a family dinner last weekend, she made a cruel joke about Emma’s condition, saying something like, ‘At least I won’t have to deal with her voice all the time.”
“I was furious, but I didn’t want to blow up in front of Sora, so I waited until after dinner.”
“I confronted my sister and told her that her comment was hurtful and disgusting and that I would no longer offer her a place to stay.”
“She blew up at me, saying that I was overreacting, that I was putting ‘my child’ before ‘my family,’ and that she was ‘making light’ of the situation.”
“Now my parents and some family members are saying I’m being too harsh, and she’s having a hard time.”
“I don’t think I can forgive her easily, and I want to protect my daughter.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA for refusing to let her move in after what she said?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“Your child is your family!!!”
“And does come first!!”
“And so do you over your sister.”
“Why would you even offer or allow her in your space?”
“She sounds like an awful person who would make your house full of drama Hard No. NTA.” ~ Open-Trouble-7264
“NTA. Great reply.”
“His daughter is FAMILY, his!!”
“My question is sister the Golden One????” ~ jonfakler
“THIS. All of this.”
“Your child should ALWAYS come first.”
“She is your family.”
“Your sister is a grown-a** adult and being a bully.”
“And if your parents and other relatives are so concerned, they can host sister.”
“Definitely talk to your daughter though, if sister has been making these comments in front of her.”
“And if she is, next time call her out for bullying a child.”
“That way it’s obvious to Sora that you’re going to defend her AND let anyone in the vicinity know you won’t stand for your daughter being bullied.” ~ infiniteanomaly
“Children are family.”
“Especially under age, they’re a higher priority than any other family.”
“I know people whose parents have not prioritized them over other families (and not in an understandable way) and the damage isn’t easily repaired. NTA.” ~ Radiant_Scholar_7663
“Get sis out of the house.”
“If she is cruel and clueless enough to say that in front of you, how badly is she mocking her when they are alone? NTA.” ~ comfortablynumb15
“NTA. And pay attention to that line about your daughter vs your family.”
“Your sister does not view your daughter as family.”
“Hell, maybe not even as human.”
“Keep your daughter safe.”
“And you probably want to distance yourself from any family that takes her side.”
“I’d also turn the tables on your parents and ask them if they view their granddaughter as something other than family if they are so fast to defend your sister.” ~ B3Gay_DoCr1mes
“NTA. She singled out, ‘Your child,’ as in the flesh of your flesh but not part of your/her family, and that is the most disgusting twisted take on anything I’ve ever read.”
“If she doesn’t view your child as family, then she is nothing to you and deserves to be treated as such.”
“If your family doesn’t support you in this, then that’s their problem, not yours.”
“You don’t need them.” ~ Top_Most_3528
“NTA. Let her move in with the family that thinks they get to have an opinion then.”
“Your child is your family.” ~ MistressLiliana
“NTA. You have the consideration to have this discussion away from your child while your sister made this cruel remark (it was not a joke) in front of the child.”
“The fact your sister, when you explained things to her, did not recognize her wrongs (and try to do better) but considers she must be more important than your daughter in your eyes is entitlement and gross and proves she will not change and has no consideration for your child.”
“You do what is necessary to protect your daughter’s safe place by not bringing under her roof someone who does not respect her and does not even try to hide it.”
“As for your family who sides with her, you can tell them they can always welcome your sister under their roof if they really pity her.”
“And add the fact they don’t understand you were trying to protect your daughter and that your sister has crossed the line is a concern.”
“If your parents put their daughter first, why can’t you do the same?”
“If they really want to reconcile both of you, they should make your sister understand her wrongs and make her take the first step, not the other way around.” ~ mimi0108
“Damn right, you’re putting your child before her!”
“As you should be.”
“Does she not understand that your daughter is YOUR FAMILY?”
“NTA and your parents can have her move in with them, seeing as how she’s family.” ~ Ok_Conversation9750
“NTA… She made a rude comment about your child at a family dinner, I can only imagine how she would be living in your home either said child.”
“Parents and other family members are just as rude for not saying something and since they stand by sister so much, I am sure they can offer up their homes to her.”
“Of course, your child comes first.” ~ Worth-Season3645
“NTA. And pay attention to that line about your daughter vs your family.”
“Your sister does not view your daughter as family.”
“Hell, maybe not even as human.”
“Keep your daughter safe.”
“And you probably want to distance yourself from any family that takes her side.”
“I’d also turn the tables on your parents and ask them if they view their granddaughter as something other than family if they are so fast to defend your sister.” ~ B3Gay_DoCr1mes
“NTA! Holy crap that’s a cruel ‘joke.'”
“I can only imagine the sinking feeling Sora may have felt when your sister said that.”
“Also, as some other commenters have pointed out, why can’t she stay with other family members?”
“Why does it have to be you?” ~ BirchAndGold
“You are putting your family first.”
“Your own children should come before (so-called) adult siblings.”
“As for your flying monkey parents, they can let your cruel daughter live with them.”
“Don’t let anyone guilt you.”
“You need to protect your daughter and she needs to feel safe in her own home knowing her parents have her back.”
“I can’t believe a 29-year-old is so evil and ugly as to make fun of children.” ~ PotatoesPancakes
“NTA. If your sister is so comfortable mocking your daughter in front of you don’t allow her the chance to say/do worse when you’re not around.”
“Your home is your daughter’s safe place keep it that way!” ~ tigerz0973
“NTA. You ARE putting your daughter ahead of your sister— because you are her Dad!!”
“And you should’ve said something at the table instead of being quiet.”
“Sora should see you standing up for her the moment something happens.”
“Tell anyone who sides with you sis to open THEIR home to her or shut up and support you against her ugliness towards your daughter.”
“How dare they support Sister instead of your daughter.”
“No one bothered to speak up at the table that Sis was being an ugly B to your daughter.”
“Speak up next time.”
“And offer up other fam members’ homes instead., saying Sister will be much happier elsewhere away from your ‘defective daughter’ — as Sis implied.”
“Don’t entertain fools.” ~ CarrotofInsanity
“You’re putting your daughter before your family.”
“Your sister is an idiot, of course, your daughter comes first.”
“Tell your family to pound sand and they can house her. NTA.” ~ ProfessionSanity
“NTA, whenever a family member complains offer for your sister to stay with them.”
“If your sister says this at a family gathering, I can’t even imagine how many hurtful things that she will say to your daughter when you are not around.”
“Hard no your daughter deserves to have a safe place in her own home.” ~ Suitable_Doubt7359
“NTA, the rest of the family can let her stay with them then.”
“Otherwise, there’s a very good chance she’ll end up with a physical condition that’s going to affect the way she’s going to talk and eat in the very near future, like say a concussion and a broken jaw.”
“F**k her and anybody defending her.” ~ DetroitSmash-8701
“NTA… your sister will continue with her hateful, mean, ‘truth-bombs’ as some call them which is a glorified way of saying insults.”
“Protect your daughter, who IS your family, in fact, your PRIMARY family.”
“Your sister is just an adult sibling.”
“You owe your adult siblings nothing.”
“You owe your daughter a decent childhood and protection from bullies.” ~ BigDrive9121
“NTA. The fact that she doesn’t consider your child to be ‘family’ alone is enough of a red flag, and on top of that she’s clearly delusional if she thinks any parent worth a damn would subject their child to this kind of bigotry and abuse long term.”
“On top of this if your parents and others are pushing you to forgive her for her clearly insensitive AT BEST comments towards your child then personally I’d take the nuclear option and go no contact with the whole lot of them.” ~ Your_Daddy1972
“NTA. What??? Your child is not your family?”
“Your sister has a few screws loose.”
“You have the right decision, she would be miserable with your daughter being there, your daughter would be miserable with her being nasty to her, and you would be miserable because your daughter would be miserable.”
“You are a fantastic mom keep it.” ~ appleblossom1962
“NTA. She can live with your parents.”
“Do not force your child to live with that awful person.” ~ Wise_Entertainer_970
“Kid comes first.”
“The end. NTA.” ~ Delicious_Bag1209
Reddit has got your back, OP. Your sister is just plain cruel.
You’re house, you’re rules.
You are protecting your child, and that’s just great parenting.
Good luck.