Having roommates isn't always simple.
Not every roommate situation turns into 'The Golden Girls."
One of the biggest issues is people touching or taking things that don't belong to them.
That often feels like a betrayal.
That doesn't make a peaceful living environment.
Redditor Comfortable_Pea9618 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.
She asked:
"AITA for telling my housemate she owes me new bedsheets?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"I realize this is probably so childish, but I am 28 F[emale] and my housemate, Nikki, is 29 F."
"All of our stuff is separate, as there are two of us, it’s easy, so her stuff is to the right, and mine is to the left in storage."
"I put my food on the left side of the fridge, my cups in the left side of the cupboard, etc."
"This was her idea."
"Our bedding is different because the linen cupboard isn’t wide enough and doesn’t have shelving."
"We use these big plastic storage containers and have labeled them; this was also Nikki’s idea."
"Last week I bought a new set as winter’s starting, and I’ve noticed my room gets really cold at night."
"They are these fuzzy sheets that my mum recommended, as she said they get very warm."
"I washed them, then packed them away so I could change my sheets on Sunday."
"Sunday comes, and my sheets aren’t there."
"I look around in all the obvious places but can’t find them, so I ask Nikki, and she tells me that she borrowed them as her room has been getting cold."
"I said that wasn’t her decision to make, and I wanted them back so I could wash and use them, she said I probably won’t want them back now, as she’s had sex with her B[oy]F[riend] on them."
"Here’s where I should mention I have contamination O[bsessive] C[ompulsive] D[isorder] (C[ontamination]- O[bsessive] C[ompulsive] D[isorder] ) and Nikki knows this."
"I snapped and told her that she owes me new sheets, as she knows that I won’t be able to use those ones now, I’d be stuck for hours cleaning them, and still wouldn’t be able to sleep on them properly."
"She told me that’s ridiculous, that I need to get over it, and either need to suck it up and share or just replace them myself."
"I know I can just buy a new set myself, but why should I have to?"
"She never asked to use them, and I feel like it’s rude to have sex on your housemate’s sheets even if they don’t have COCD."
"Maybe I’m just crazy."
"Yes, obviously, most people can just clean them and be done with it, but it’s still kinda rude."
"I feel like she told me they had sex on them as she knew I wouldn’t want them back; she did that to effectively steal them from me, but she said I was being crazy for thinking that."
The OP was left to wonder:
"Basically, AITA for wanting her to replace my bedsheets?"
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
"NTA - The OCD mentions exacerbate what is already a genuine issue."
"Even without that, what is wrong with her?"
"Don't have sex on other people's things."
"This is a very simple premise, 99% of the population seems to understand."
"Unfortunately, you've found yourself with a strange, gross outlier." ~ Acceptable_Sun_8895
"First NTA, and yes, she was totally planning on keeping them, because you wouldn’t be able to use them anymore, and in her screwed up mind, she probably can twist it into something, where she isn’t actually stealing it, since you could just use them."
"My petty a** would take them and donate them somewhere far away, so she couldn’t just go and get them back for cheap at a charity shop."
"If you can’t have them, then neither can she!" ~ HeroineOfDarkMinds
"NTA, she decided to 'borrow' them and then have sex on them, knowing you wouldn't want them back after?"
"She took them with no intentions og giving them back."
"That's stealing."
"A bit manipulative." ~ stinky_crocodile
"Yup. NTA"
"She knew exactly what she was doing." ~ green_chapstick
"Yeah. She basically stole her sheets and had sex on them, knowing she would never want to sleep in them again."
"Feels like an attempt to manipulate her into buying new sheets so they both have fussy sheets."
"I hope she demands her to pay back for the sheets she stole out of a clearly marked box."
"Because it was clearly not a mistake from her side." ~ Live_Jellyfish9948
"NTA. This feels very deliberate."
"She took your brand new sheets before you got a chance to even use them and had sex on them (or at least told you she did)."
"I think she just wanted the sheets for herself; she knows telling you about the sex would taint them forever."
"She essentially stole your sheets, while making it out to be a 'you' problem." ~ RealityBEC
"Take them back."
"I’d physically take them off her bed."
"I’m not one for wasting just so people can’t use something."
"But in this case, so she doesn’t do this again, I’d take them and toss them before letting her just have them."
"Or get the money."
"Don’t accept a No." ~ No-ThatsTheMoneyTit
"This makes it way worse somehow."
"Like the roommate goes from merely lacking self-awareness to a manipulator who will take advantage of privileged information about people close to them in order to literally steal their stuff from them."
"If you get right down to it, this is a 'find a new place to live' situation for OP."
"You don't want to live with someone like that."
"This may only be the first of many similar situations to come." ~ tirdg
"NTA. I'm a petty girl, so I'd take some of her sheets and just toss them out."
"If she notices, just tell her to get over it, and she can replace them herself."
"Or you could just send her a Venmo request."
"Or you could involve her parents."
"But the best idea is that you should probably just go get your sheets and toss them."
"If you can't use them, she can't either." ~ Halflingdrama
"This is deliberate on her part - you're NTA."
"She took them from you, did something she knows would stop you wanting them back, and then told you about it when you asked for them."
This is the equivalent of taking someone's clothes and having them altered so it no longer fits them.
"Obviously, she owes you new ones."
"She's just annoyed because she thought she could get away with it." ~ ColumnK
"NTA. Your paths should separate ASAP."
"She's deliberately taken something that wasn't hers without a suitable repair."
"The repair is for her to make it right by giving you new sheets." ~ Billionheiress
"Take them from her bed and throw them away, and also take a pair of her sheets out of the cupboard and throw them away."
"Buy yourself a new pair of flannel sheets and keep those and all personal belongings in your room with a new lock put on your door."
"Say nothing and deny stupidity if she asks about sheets."
"Ignore her, and if her boyfriend stays over more than three nights a week, report them to the landlord for having another roommate not on the lease." ~ PurposeConsistent131
"NTA! What decent human borrows things without asking?"
"Also, since it was HER idea to separate all your things so no accidents would happen, it is HER responsibility to replace your bed sheets, especially as she took them without permission."
"Also, it's common bloody courtesy to ask or replace!"
"She is the AH!" ~ ExplorerLast3434
"NTA, give her a deadline to replace them, or you will be reporting the theft to the police."
"The petty person in me would also start taking her stuff and hiding it."
"I'd want to sell it to make back the cost of the sheets, but that would be stealing, so minor inconvenience it is." ~ today-tomorrow-etc
"She’s a thief."
"NTA, she’s ignoring her own rules."
"You should probably look for a new house or housemate." ~ Foundation_Wrong
OP came back to chat...
"I’ve had a few comments about hotels, so I’ll post how hotels usually work for me here..."
"It does make it fairly hard, but when I went away recently, I managed to do really well just bringing my own sheets."
"It used to be that I wouldn’t be able to sleep in a hotel because everything was 'contaminated' (like with a disease or a harmful substance) and I needed to clean it, so I would be up for hours putting things in the wash and checking for any 'contaminants.'"
"I’d wake up and suddenly have the belief that they weren’t really clean anymore, and it’d start up again."
"When I say checking for contaminants as well, I mean I’d check one side, check the other, then go, 'Okay, I need to check the other side again just to be sure I haven’t missed it.'"
"It was pretty debilitating for a while, but it is getting a lot better for me, especially recently with the right meds and treatment team!"
"I think this is getting to me because it’s not a normal stressor (i.e., I use my sheets, my sheets get dirty throughout the week), it feels more deliberate and could’ve been avoided."
Guys, I live in the Southern Hemisphere."
"Specifically, Australia."
"Where winter literally just started."
This is an outrageous situation, OP.
Reddit is 1000% with you.
Your roommate is so out of line.
So sorry this is happening to you.
Hopefully, it can be resolved peacefully.
