For many, making a house a home is an essential part of home ownership.
This is why people sometimes like to be experimental with their creativity.
Unfortunately, this can lead to problems with the neighbors.
Not everybody appreciates bold color choices for house painting.
And a lively yard is not always embraced.
So this can lead to some drama.
Redditor FarImpression787 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA for telling my neighbor to grow up, get a life, and get the f**k over the fact that I painted my house a color he doesn’t like?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I bought a house in a community without an H[ome] O[wner] A[ssociation].”
“I wanted my home to be MY home, and that includes making it look the way that I want.”
“I also chose a neighborhood that already has fun, colorful houses instead of just plain earth tones.”
“I finally got to the point where I could repaint my house.”
“I picked a soft peachy color with sage, blue, and soft and dark pink accents.”
“Fun and colorful without being too out there.”
“I think if you google ‘colors blue sage peach’ you’ll see a similar palette.”
“My neighbor Paul f**king hates it and has been complaining since we started the project.”
“He also made his opinion known that he hates our front lawn (lots of wildflowers and sunflowers, fun garden flags, a Little Free Library, etc).”
“Each and every time, I’ve told him that I don’t care.”
“Truly, I don’t.”
“And I’ve suggested a few times that maybe he’d be happier in an HOA community that has control over everything and forces people into having earth-toned homes.”
“Paul got angry when I suggested that and said he’s lived in his home for 15 years and shouldn’t have to move.”
“I told him okay, well you’ll have to learn to live with a little color.”
“Last weekend I was putting in pavers that my niece and I had painted together.”
“They’re all things like ladybugs, turtles, birds, etc in fun colors.”
“I adore them and my niece is so excited she gets to be a part of my home.”
“Paul came over to complain yet again, saying it was all an ‘eyesore’ and my niece was here, so I just told him ‘It’s time for you to grow up and get the f**k over what I’m doing with my house.'”
“He got even pissier and told me that I have no right to talk to him this way, do I know who I’m talking to, etc.”
“I told him to just go away and get a f**king life.”
“If he has so much free time to b**ch and moan about a colorful house, maybe he should get a hobby.”
“He stormed off, calling me a nasty piece of work.”
“My niece was cracking up on the side.”
“For the record, no one in my family is uptight, we really don’t care about cursing.”
“I know some people still clutch their pearls over it around kids (she’s 15) but I’m sure she says worse.”
“Anyway one of the other neighbors came to tell me that he’s been flapping his yap about how disrespectful I am to talk to him like that.”
“She told me that she knows he’s a pain but that he has been in the neighborhood forever, and it’s worth being nice to him.”
“I don’t know. “
“Is telling him to get a life that big of a deal?”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. The house’s color scheme sounds gorgeous – something we’d have here in our Inman Park neighborhood.”
“My guess is your neighbor is more upset about the kitschy items in your front yard than the color of your house.”
“Maybe you need some pink flamingoes. 🥰.” ~ NanaLeonie
“Perhaps a gnome with his trousers down mooning at Paul?”
“OP, you’re not an AH, your neighbor sounds very much like mine.”
“He thinks he’s in charge of our cul-de-sac.”
“I’ve got a notebook to keep a record of each of our shall we say ‘differs of opinion.'”
“He’s fallen out with all of the neighbors at some point.”
“Have your house and garden in whatever way you and your family want – it sounds fabulous.”
“Ignore him, hopefully, he’ll get bored soon.”
“But a couple of discreet cameras might be an idea just in case.” ~ Wooden_Opportunity65
“My husband created giant snowflakes lit with soft white Christmas lights.”
“He then placed them all over the house in a manner that looked like they were ninja stars impaled on the house and in the yard.”
“We were pre-HOA and the HOA biddies hated it.”
“The HOA had rules for decorations, and technically, we were fine.”
“Ended up being a huge attraction.”
“He made them red pentagrams for Halloween.”
“That was extra fun.”
“We live in the Deep South.”
“Enjoy your home.”
“It sounds gorgeous.”
“I know I would be happy seeing your joy every day.”
“People are such funsuckers.” ~ WonderfulTraffic9502
“I have a Mediterranean-style home, I’ve been thinking about repainting, and am taking your colors into consideration.”
“I too have a Paul, but she’s actually slowed down with her critiques or advice, she’s lived in my neighborhood from the early ’70s.”
“Ahe acts like she owns all the houses on the block.”
“She told me she didn’t like how my gardener cared for my yard, etc.”
“She soon realized I didn’t care about what she said.”
“You’re NTA.” ~ OneCrew2044
“NTA. Paul’s problem is Paul.”
“If he doesn’t want to be talked to like that, he should mind his own business.”
“As long as you’re not doing anything illegal on your property it’s none of his business what you do or how you decorate.”
“Those that want respect give respect.”
“He needs to respect you and your property.”
“He doesn’t have to like it, but once again it’s none of his business or concern.”
“Just because he’s lived there longer doesn’t give him any special rights or privileges.”
“I find it amusing he went and tattled to the other neighbors. Real mature.” ~ Vandreeson
“NTA, some people just don’t understand when you try to be polite with them, so it is not your fault that you told them to F-off, it is their fault.”
“I bet other people would just fall down on their knees and praise this neighbor and do whatever he wants, yeah right.”
“I always am very polite, but if other people do not understand or don’t want to understand I become very rude, this saves me a lot of time in the future because these people know what I will tell them and they don’t even try to pull more crap on me as it just doesn’t work.” ~ forgeris
“NTA. He comes harassing you and you need to be nice?”
“Riddle me that one?”
“If the neighbor who is suggesting you be nice has ANY suggestions on how to keep this blowhard out of your face/property, that would be more helpful than ‘kids it’s both your fault’ advice.”
“It may take two to fight, but he is the only one creating the situation.”
“You can’t walk away, it’s your house, so he is actively seeking conflict BUT is offended that he is called out.”
“You do you and you are NTA!” ~ catskilkid
“NTA. There was a Reddit post where the OP painted it yellow and as soon as she went out of town, her neighbors contacted a company to paint it neutral.”
“Huge drama happens after, police called, etc.”
“So maybe put up some cameras, haha.”
“He sounds like he is a grumpy old man and does need a life.”
“If he was my neighbor, I’d ‘kill him with kindness’ as my mamma used to say.”
“It is better to have neighbors who look out for each other than scheme against each other.” ~ Trick_Delivery4609
“NTA. Just because he’s ‘Been in the neighborhood forever’ doesn’t give him any rights.”
“It’s not a seniority system.”
“If he doesn’t like he is cordially invited to pound salt up a hole.”
“Get a camera, because this IS the kind of cat that will vandalize your yard.” ~ Outlander56
“NTA, tell your ‘neighbor’ if he would like to have the right to dictate paint colors or landscaping choices he is happy to make you an offer on the house (at 3x market).”
“This way, he can buy it, and then it will be his property, and he can do what he likes with it.”
“But since it isn’t his property, he can keep his opinions to himself cause you don’t care what he thinks.”
“Next time he steps foot on your property, inform him that he is trespassing and not welcome, involve the police if necessary.” ~ sh1tsawantsays
“NTA. If he starts up again, I recommend going the same route as a four-year-old.”
“Just keep asking him why.”
“You mentioned the neighborhood has some colorful houses already.”
“Why does yours bother him so much?”
“Why do these colors bother him in particular?”
“Why does he have the authority to police the neighborhood like this?”
“If he can’t internally process his emotions like an adult, make him miserable when he lashes out.” ~ 3lydia5
“NTA. I just hope you have cameras in case he decides to mess with your garden or something.” ~ lmmontes
“NTA. I can picture your house, we have several in our town with similar color schemes; usually old Victorians with ornate woodwork on them.”
“Really lovely. Paul is only important in his own mind.” ~ Salty-Initiative-242
“NTA, if your neighbor wants to be nice to him while he’s rude as hell that’s her choice, she doesn’t get to force that choice on you.”
“We, as a whole f**kin society, need to stop forcing everyone to cater to the biggest asshole in the group for the sake of ‘keeping the peace.'”
“If an a**hole is gonna a**hole, we get to tell them.” ~ Pale_Wave_3379
“NTA – but I kinda want to know who he is, or who he thinks he is to be able to say ‘Do you know who you are talking to?'”
“Whenever anyone says that and I am around I always reply Oh my gosh, no I am not aware of your status, who are you?”
“And then ask repeatedly who?”
“No, I am sorry, but I never heard of them.”
“I think your house sounds lovely!” ~ judgeeveryonesbiznes
Well, OP, sounds like Reddit is with you.
Maybe you and a few neighbors could have a calm chat with him together.
If he doesn’t want to be nice, that’s his issue.
Your house, your rules.
Good luck.