It's never easy to end a relationship, no matter the reason.
What can be even more difficult is discovering that our ex-partners have moved on and have started seeing someone else.
Naturally, our curiosity might get the better of us, leading us to learn more about this new partner.
A decision that can often be a very slippery slope indeed.
Redditor Fantastic_Screen8016 recently learned that her ex-boyfriend was now seeing someone else.
Out of curiosity, the original poster (OP) checked out this new girlfriend's social media.
A move this girlfriend would later blame on "ruining" her relationship with the OP's ex.
Wondering if this was the case, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole Here" (AITAH).
Unlike the similar "Am I The A**Hole" (AITA) subReddit, AITAH allows Redditors to ask for advice on issues that are not permitted on AITA, such as asking for advice or posting about ending relationships. Nor are voting acronyms required or a final judgment declared.
The OP asked fellow Redditors:
"AITAH for supposedly 'ruining' my exes relationship?"
The OP explained why they were blamed for breaking up a relationship:
"I (21 F[emale]) dated my ex (21 M[ale]) for about a year."
"We broke up over a year ago on good terms because we gradually lost feelings for each other."
"Around three months ago, he started dating a new girl, 'E'."
"Out of curiosity, I looked at her TikTok a few times, but that was it."
"I never contacted her or talked about her."
"However, over the past few weeks, she's been posting TikToks claiming I'm obsessed with her and my ex, which isn't true."
"I was understandably upset and messaged her, asking her to remove the videos."
"She refused. Meanwhile, people in her comments started comparing us, insulting my appearance, and making fun of me."
"Some of my classmates even saw the posts, which was humiliating."
"About two weeks ago, I told her that if she didn't take the videos down, I'd either report them or reach out to my ex."
"I ended up messaging him."
"He isn't very active on social media and has always been strongly against online bullying."
"After I explained the situation, he was upset and said he'd talk to her and get the videos removed."
"Since then, I don't know exactly what happened between them, but they broke up."
"E messaged me afterward, calling me names and accusing me of ruining her relationship because I wanted my ex back."
"Now some friends and classmates are saying I'm jealous and broke them up over a few TikTok videos."
"The thing is, my ex told me he never intended to break up with her."
"Apparently, their conversation led to a much larger argument about other issues in the relationship that I wasn't involved in."
"I feel like I had every right to be upset about someone publicly posting videos about me and encouraging harassment."
"AITAH?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in, with some using the voting acronyms:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Everyone agreed that the OP was not in any way responsible for their ex-boyfriend's break-up.
Everyone agreed that the E's unhinged behavior was destined to end their relationship eventually, with many even feeling the OP helped her ex-boyfriend "dodge a bullet":
"I think TikTok sends a notification if someone views your profile."
"So if you did look at it, she probably saw the notifications."
"However, she didn’t have to do the videos and be extra."
"Sounds like they had problems."- Msraye
"NTA."
"He probably figures he dodged a bullet."
"Honestly someone doing things like that would be a huge red flag."- Reyvakitten
"NTA she thrives on attention and putting others down to raise herself up. It appears if you wanted your ex back, you could have him."- That-one_dude-trying
"I learned the hard way that you can see who viewed your profile in TikTok, unlike IG and FB - you should have been more careful if you wanted to snoop."
"NTA but you live, and you learn."- Wat3rM3L0NB3AR
"NTA."
"Though anyone who knows you yet kept saying those things about you, before and after the breakup, is most definitely not your friend."- Scarlet_Wonderer
"FAFO."
"You asked."
"You informed."
"She made her choice you made yours."
"Sounds like she liked the drama of it all."
"I’m guessing he did not."
"Your friends can get over it."
"They are 1 supposed to be your friends?"
"And 2 they were only dating for 3 months."
"He did the breaking up not you."
"It’s not like they were engaged."- Obvious-Block6979
"NTA."
"She just wanted to create drama and have people compliment her."- CowtheCatt
"NTAH."
"E made a mountain out of a mole hill and now she's paying the price."
"Hopefully she learns to stop being an egotistical b!tch"- Apprehensive_One_450
"NTA."
"You did the right thing standing up for yourself."
"You told her to take it down, or you would tell."
"She dismissed you, so you made it come true."
"This is 100% on her."
"Also good on your ex for standing up against online bullying."- Lil_Packmate
"You aren’t an AH."
"You did zero."
"But for her videos, you wouldn’t have had any interaction with either of them."
"It was obvious there were 'other issues' in that relationship when she started posting about someone who was not even present in their lives."
"If she didn’t start something, there wouldn’t have been something."
"Reevaluate the people telling you that you did something wrong."- SunMoonTruth
"NTA."
"She destroyed her relationship, not you."- WanderingWhiteWolf
"You are collateral damage in their breakup, let it pass."- Fit-Amoeba-5010
"You & your ex-bf are not the AHs, but his now ex-gf sure is the major AH with a slanderous tongue of hers, with her immature, bratty behavior, as well as lying about the garbage she spews."
"Sounds like the relationship already had other serious underlying issues & the ex-bf did the dumping because he now seen her true colors."
"You did him a favor even though it doesn't feel like it now, but time will pass & now I'm wondering how many other of her relationships she scuttled if she had done the same towards others as she done towards you."- lovemyfurryfam
"NTA."
"She should learn to keep other people's names out her mouth before they go will smith on her."- No_Department3623
"FAFO."
"YNTA."- Psychological_Name28
"NTA."
"but pretty sure I've seen TikToks of this or a situation that was exactly like this lol."- mwon_24
"NTA, they wouldn't have broken up if she hadn't posted lies.- ExternalMuffin9790
"OP stop checking if you're the a**hole and go make an official complaint to the school this girl goes to for her online bullying."
"Also make a complaint to YOUR school for being harassed by her followers who are students."
"And see if you can go to the police about her behavior as well as this might cross over from a personal dispute to a civil complaint for harassment."- ftjlster
"NTA."
"If you told the truth, then you didn't break them up."
"He saw something he didn't like, and that had to do with who she is, not you."
"Now it's time to walk away and live your life."- 4B-4Life
"She started bullying you and she got what she deserved."- PeppaGrr
"NTA."
"And your Ex is lucky he dodged a bullet."- kath_or_kate
"NTA, E was looking for content for her bullsh*t TikTok account."
"I'd bet money on it."- verscharren1
"NTA but your 'out of curiosity I looked at her TikToks…'"
"Hopefully you learned not to ask questions you won’t like the answer to."
"My mother is 70 years old and is still miserable from not minding her own business."- SpringValleyTrash
"Big NTA."
"Your actions ONLY concerned the accusations against you."
"You took reasonable and prudent steps to correct the record and clear your name."
"Your effort to reveal the truth also outed GF as a liar."
"And that made ex realize he was being lied to and manipulated."
"He made the choice to end the relationship, because he doesn't want to be lied to."
"None of that is your fault- you only demanded the truth."
"What consequences befell the liar is not your responsibility."- SirEDCaLot
"How did she even know you were looking at her videos in the first place?"
"NTA."- cjleblanc2002
"NTA."
"She probably saw that you took a peak at her account and decided to use that to stroke her own ego and create drama."
"And that’s probably part of why they broke up."
"No person with good self-esteem is gonna lose their cool over an ex looking at a profile, I’d have just blocked them at most and moved on."- thejoebrossuck
Sometimes, even the tiniest thing we notice on social media can lead us to jump to extreme conclusions.
The absolute worst thing anyone can do with these conclusions is make a social media post about it for anyone and everyone to see.
Something it seems the E learned the hard way.
Something she's probably venting about on her TIkTok page as we speak...
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