Guy Calls Out Girlfriend For Running Not Full Dishwasher And Washing Machine Every Day

Living with a significant other is not always wine and roses.

It's a test run for compatibility and working through issues together to strengthen the bond for the possibility of taking the relationship to the next level.

One guy is struggling with a routine regimen that his partner sticks to, and when he voiced his concern, it brought him to the "Am I the A**hole?" (AITA) subReddit to seek judgment from strangers online.

There, Redditor throwawayy279232 asked:

"AITA for complaining about my SO running the dishwasher and washing machine every single day?"

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

"So my (31 M[ale]) SO (29 F[female]) runs the dishwasher at the end of the day as we are headed to bed no matter how full or empty the dishwasher is."

"She says it's so we will always have fresh dishes for the next day, but it's just us in the house and we have plenty of spare dishes. I've literally seen her run it when there were only a couple plates and some forks and knives in the wash."

"On top of that, she will also run the laundry machine at least once every single day. At times, this will only have a single item in the entire wash."

The OP continued:

"She says that certain tops are delicate and shouldn't be in the regular wash. Which I agree with, but IMO she should hold off until she has a full wash's worth of delicates before running a load."

"IDK, am I the one being ridiculous here? She gets quite upset every time I complain about this routine being wasteful."

"Edit to add some context: Lots of the comments seem to think I'm not willing to do any housework, but I absolutely am, and I do. Anything that won't fit, or isn't dishwasher safe is my job to hand wash each day." 

"Garbage/recycling, snow shovelling, vacuuming, etc. I do contribute. And have offered to contribute to the laundry and dishes many times. But I'm not going to be the one starting each machine when there's only an item or 2 sitting in them."

Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA - You're The A**hole
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
• NAH - No A**holes Here

Many Redditors thought he was not the a**hole (NTA) here.

"She's filling up a washing machine for a single shirt. That is beyond wasteful. It wastes water and electricity and dumps harmful chemicals into various bodies of water. Dishwasher is one thing but the washing machine piece is horrifying." – Witty-Stock-4913

"I can agree on OP taking over the dishwasher. Laundry is a different story. Knowing what is and isn't delicate, what should be air dried, what should be washed with a different detergent, etc should be handled by the wearer."

"Since it might take awhile to get an entire load of delicates, perhaps a weekly load of delicates would suffice instead of every day for one item. That's just plain wasteful."

"NTA." – WarpedHumorIsTheBest

"Running the dishwasher and washing machine everyday when it is only filled up maybe 15% to 20% of the way is wasteful. Saying he should do the rest of the housework because it is too overwhelming for her to empty a dishwasher if it has more then a couple plates is ridiculous. Maybe they have plenty of money, or maybe she doesn't pay any of the bills, so she won't see it as a problem."

"However if the person I was living with wife, girlfriend, or roommate thought it was OK to run these things everyday, they would absolutely be covering 100% of the cost of water and electric. " – PepiDoodleDay

"I'm the only person in my household. I run the dishwasher every 3 to 4 days, sometimes after 2 days if I'm doing a lot of cooking. Unless it's really small, dishwasher, it doesn't need to be run every single day 'to keep things manageable' if there isn't much in it. The girlfriend is also wasting energy and water running both machines every day."

"OP is definitely NTA." – Glittering_Win_9677

"It will impact the environment. Exactly this kind of thinking is a large driver if climate change and all. 'As long as there is no immediate impact on myself, why should I stop doing it?' Wasteful practices should not only be stopped because they hurt the wallet." – onkel-enzo

"It most definitely has impacted their bills unless they live in an apartment where water is included in rent or is a flat fee. At the very least this will raise the power bill. I would lose my mind over someone running the dishwasher not fully loaded or the washing machine with only 2 items in it."

"The laundry can wait until there's a full load. That's what hampers are for. If she just doesn't want dirty dishes left out over night then she can simply hand wash them. Running the dishwasher for two sets of dinnerware is wasteful and just dumb. " – Not-sure-here

"NTA."

"I don't get people who figure since it doesn't cost you more it's fine. That's insanely wasteful. To run the washing machine when there is one thing in it, if it isn't a specialty once off item is just bananas."

"There's no way she she needs to wash that one delicate item that one day. And if she does she could hand wash it."

"Does she regularly show a level of selfishness, not caring about how she impacts on the wider world? Is she a got mine f'k you all kinda person in other aspects?"

"I actually don't think I could stay with someone who did that, it would piss me off so much." – CheerilyTerrified

"I am absolutely irate with this human being and can't believe this sub is defending them. There is no way I could ever live with them. The wasted water, electricity, money and eventual wear and tear on the machines to have to replace them so much sooner than necessary makes me just LIVID."

"I can't believe that running a dishwasher when its FULL isn't just how its done? Or to do a load of laundry when you actually have a load? This is thread is making me feel like a crazy person." – tarahlynn

"NTA This is ridiculous. Such a waste. Water, energy, detergent, etc. It is Especially not clever to have a single 'delicate' item in the washing machine. Even if you run a delicate program. More pieces of clothes in the wash protect each other so to say." – Maleficent_Ad_402

"NTA My husband and I had this same disagreement. He felt that leaving dirty dishes overnight could potentially cause bugs and stink. I maintain that rinsing them well before putting them in the dishwasher is enough to let them sit overnight until our breakfast and/or lunch dishes could be added. I finally just started washing the few dishes by hand every night to save on water. " – EdenCapwell

"NTA."

"She is wasteful. I don't get those telling that she is just keeping on top of the household. If the gender roles were reversed, everybody would shout 'wasteful!' " – yhaensch

"NTA -However- you both need to communicate with each other in a more constructive way. Talk it out and figure out how to meet in the middle. It's a lot of money on a water bill to pay for gallons of water every day."

"Complaining and razzing is something you do with a roommate or siblings. It's passive agressive af."

"And, I don't know if you read aloud to yourself what you wrote, but it is worth pointing out that you said 'I appreciate that SHE is on top of the housework, but I have problems with the way she does it so I correct her in a passive agressive way.' "

"Does that sound like a healthy dynamic to you?" – GivMHellVetica

"NTA cause that is extreme and unnecessary in my opinion. Regardless of whether it impacts the water bill or not, it's excessively wasteful, especially if she's actually washing 1 single item in the washing machine."

"Even on the smallest load setting, that's still more water being used than if she was washing it by hand, or waiting until there's enough clothes to make a small load worthwhile."

"Others have mentioned the water bill is not being affected, but it's still wasting water on a whole. Not to mention electricity being used that doesn't need to be used. The machine and dishwasher are using similar amounts of electricity for each load being run. Wouldn't it make more sense to at least wait a day or two to do a load of laundry in that instance?"

"That kinda behaviour screams laziness to me. We've gotten to a point where resources are just wasted because we can." – Rastaman1761

Overall, Redditors thought the OP's frustration about his significant other's tendency to run the appliances without full loads was wasteful, even though her intentions might be good to stay on top of household chores.

Hopefully, a genuine heart-to-heart will lead to a compromise that works for them. If they can get through this together, they'll be golden down the road.