We all have that one friend – or are that one friend – who can never be on time.
It doesn’t matter how important the event is, how close or far away it is or even the time of day.
They’re just always late.
While the tardiness in and of itself may be quite annoying, it would likely become infuriating if you were charged every time it happens.
A man on Reddit is furious his wife, who is a stay at home mom, accrued outrageous fees for consistently picking up their child late from daycare, so he turned to the “Am I The A**hole Here” (AITAH) subReddit to seek feedback from fellow Redditors.
Redditor AdMuted1534 asked:
“AITAH for telling my wife that late pick-up fees are on her and her alone?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I am 34 years old. My wife is 33 years old.”
“We’ve been together for 10 years and have a four-year-old son together.”
“Ever since we started dating, my wife has chronically been late.”
“I can count on one hand how many times I remember her being on time.”
“She has this bizarre tendency to leave when we’re supposed to be arriving at whatever venue we’re going to.”
“If we have reservations for 7:00, she’s not ready until 7:00.”
“If the movie starts at 5:45, she’s not ready until 5:45.”
“I used to find it kind of humorous and almost endearing.”
“There was an ongoing joke of her being from the distant future where we had figured out wormhole technology for instant teleportation, and that she just had not adapted to the present year yet.”
“But now that we have a child together and important appointments for which we cannot be late, it’s not funny anymore.”
“It regularly causes me a significant amount of stress.”
“Our son started going to daycare last year.”
“Since my wife is a SAHM, taking him to and from daycare is her responsibility.”
“Naturally, she is late dropping him off every day.”
“Then she is late picking him up.”
“In the middle of August, our son’s daycare sent out a group e-mail informing us that there would be a new fee for any late pickups.”
“Every minute that a parent was late, the daycare would tack on a $2 fee.”
“10 minutes late would incur a $20 fee.”
“To be perfectly honest, there’s no doubt in my mind that they started this because of my wife, who was late to pick him up literally every day his first year.”
“I’ve tried to get her to be better, but when confronted, she always has an excuse ready to go, which makes it impossible to have any discussion about the subject.”
“Well, our bill for the first two weeks of September just arrived.”
“Lo and behold, on top of the normal fee, I found a $262 late pickup fee on the bill, which means that my wife was late to pick him up, on average, 12 minutes per day.”
“I told my wife that as usual, I would be paying for the normal fees, but she would have to pay the $262 late pickup fee out of her $800 allowance.”
“She initially refused, saying she couldn’t afford it (despite having no real expenses other than her phone and Netflix), and then she called the daycare to try and debate the issue.”
“I watched as she tried to play Erin Brockovich.”
“She eventually tired herself out frantically googling laws while on the phone and hung up on the poor staff.”
“At that time, I told her that it was entirely her fault, and that if she can’t even do the bare minimum of being an adult, she needs to grow up.”
“She immediately began barraging me with excuses.”
“She then laid down her final debate-ending question: ‘Why don’t you just pick him up then?'”
“Because I’m at work.”
“I work for a living.”
“Anyway, the daycare won’t take him back until the bill is paid in full.”
“I feel terrible for my son because he’s completely innocent in all of this and loves going to daycare, but I feel like it’s the only way to get my wife to realize there are consequences for her tardiness.”
“Am I pushing it too far too fast, or should I stick to my guns here?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on the situation and overwhelmingly declared OP is not the a**hole (NTA) in the situation.
“NTA. She’s lucky the daycare didn’t just refuse to allow him to attend any longer.”
“Many daycares here have waiting lists (or I should say the GOOD ones do) & would have just given y’all notice that he would no longer be welcome there.”
“Your wife really needs to stop disrespecting others – which is blatantly exactly what she’s doing when she’s late to pick him up.”
“(You might warn her that his SCHOOL will likely not tolerate this one day & are not above calling CPS when parents just don’t show up to pick up their kid on time repeatedly.)” – MyHairs0nFire2023
“So she’s a SAHM, who’s lucky enough to put kid in daycare, why on F can’t she get on time for her kid?”
“Will it be the same for school?”
“What is she doing the whole day to not even be able to leave on time for her own kid?”
“She’s an adult. She should start behaving like one.”
“Don’t put your foot down, OP; she needs to grow up faster. NTA” – MushroomPowerful3440
“NTA she’s not a child.”
“There is zero legitimate reasons for her behavior.”
“I think it’s great that you’re finally stopping the enabling.” – mynamecouldbesam
“Eh, NTA.”
“The late fees are solely because of her.”
“She needs to find a way to make sure she’s there on time to pick him up.” – VII_187
“NTA”
“Her refusal to take responsibility for her lateness is just another example of the perpetual selfishness and disrespect she shows to anyone and everyone else’s schedules every single time she is late.”
“That is despicable behaviour.”
“She is telling the daycare that her time is more important than theirs, so they can damn well wait for her to show up.”
“They’ve said no, absolutely not, and they’re giving her an appropriate consequence.”
“It’s only right that she fully experiences it.”
“Now that there are actual consequences, she’ll find a way to be on time.”
“But you should absolutely have another discussion with her about how her behavior is totally unacceptable in all walks of life.”
“She is 100% capable of being on time. She is CHOOSING not to be.”
“Well, guess what? The world doesn’t revolve around her.”
“And to be honest, you’ve enabled her behavior long enough.”
“If you want to be married to a narcissist who is trying to bully the world into running according to her schedule, go right ahead, but don’t expect the world to accept it as you have.”
“Because I certainly wouldn’t.” – Cursd818
“NTA.”
“She absolutely and undoubtedly needs to fix this.”
“I don’t know how you handle your finances, so I won’t tell you who pays for this.”
“This is however 100% her fault, and she needs to grow up, acknowledge it, and stop making excuses.”
“And you should hold your ground until she does.”
“Excuses are understandable when it’s once in a while.”
“When there’s an excuse every other day, then there’s an issue.” – vaginalextract
Several also pointed out that, ultimately, their son is the one who suffers from her chronic lateness.
“NTA”
“This is not about the money alone.”
“It’s also about your child who is sitting there, probably alone, because the other children are picked up in time, feeling abandoned and forgotten.” – agnesperditanitt
“NTA. Former preschool teacher.”
“The closing staff hates your wife.”
“Her being late impacts them.”
“There are cleaning and processes they do once all the kids are gone that they can’t do till your kid is gone.”
“They have lives.”
“They have their own kids and family to get home to.”
“They have second jobs.”
“They have classes.”
“They are simply all done with their work day and can’t be because she is an inconsiderate pos.”
“It used to happen so much at my center that we started doubling fees after the 3rd offeive….for the remainder of the year, too!”
“Your wife is inconsiderate to the school staff, and it is sh*tty for your kid to know his mom doesn’t care enough to pick him up on time like all the other parents.”
“And he does know, and he does realize.” – skigirl180
“As others have asked – why is she a SAHM if you guys are having to pay daycare fees?”
“How does she think it makes the child feel when everyone else’s parents pick them up on time, and he’s left there sitting alone because his SAHM can’t be f**king bothered.”
“What else is she doing at this time?”
“It’s time for her to grow up.” – lychigo
“NTA. Consistent lateness isn’t just a quirk—it’s a habit that can severely disrupt lives, especially when a child is involved.”
“It seems like more than a time management issue; there could be underlying causes that need to be addressed.”
“That said, it is not unfair for you to expect better for the sake of your child’s routine and your own peace of mind.”
“Enabling won’t help her; setting clear expectations and consequences might.”
“It’s important for her to realize that when she’s late, she’s not only disrespecting your collective time and money but also your child’s well-being and sense of stability.” – EllieBarnes18
According to his fellow Redditors, OP has every right to be furious about the situation and hold his wife accountable for her actions.
Hopefully, this will help her realize the effects her behavior has on others.