We’ve all said something we regret saying at least once.
Sometimes, we offend someone without even realizing we were doing so.
Even though we meant absolutely no harm by it, it can still be difficult to shake the guilt.
Especially if someone called us out on it.
Redditor CarStatus7113 was embarrassed to make a mistake during an online meeting with a client.
While the original poster (OP) tried to make amends for his mistake, they instead dug themselves into an even deeper hole.
All thanks to a choice of words which the client in question found offensive.
Unsettled by how things unfolded, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**Hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for using the term ‘fat fingered’?”
The OP explained why they, in their opinion, unfairly found themselves in hot water with a client:
“On a Teams call presenting an Excel file to 10+ people, mostly clients.”
“I apologized to the group for a formula error, exact words were ‘Sorry everyone, I must have fat-fingered the keys’.”
“This was met with a brief, but stern reprimand from one of the clients who said my phrasing was ‘denigrating to overweight people’.”
“I quickly apologized and moved on, but later in the day, I was irritated that this person felt the need to discuss this in front of the wider group of clients, rather than speaking to me after the call.”
“What do you think?”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community largely agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for using the term “fat-fingered” during a meeting.
Nearly everyone agreed that the OP made an honest mistake, using a phrase countless people use, and didn’t deserve the public shaming they received, even if some felt it couldn’t hurt the OP to suck up to this client.
“Hi, I’m fat, you’re NTA.”
“Fat fingers don’t even fully correlate to a person’s body shape.”
“Tendencies, yes, but not all fat people have fat fingers, and some not-fat people do.”
“That said, it’s a client and sucking up that kind of thing is part of the job.”
“Just saying you ‘typo’d’ in the future won’t be a major hardship.”- oliviamrow
“I could see how this may cross a line in a professional environment.”
“This is absurd, obviously NTA.”- DrSpacemanSpliff
“NTA.”
“Your client is crazy, but dealing with crazy clients is sometimes part of the job.”
“I think they embarrassed themselves more than they embarrassed you.”
“The expression, ‘fat-fingered’, is not denigrating to overweight people.”- SomeoneYouDontKnow70
“NTA.”
“I’ve worked in IT for over 30 years now, and the heard the term ‘fat-fingering’ from day one – it’s been a saying probably since the invention of the typewriter.”
“It has nothing to do with shaming overweight people.”
“It’s a perfect way to describe hitting two or more keys with one finger.”- JCDagz
“NTA.”
“I’m fat (like FAT fat) and I use the phrase all the time.”
“They’re just looking for something to complain about.”- digi-cow
“’Fat-fingered’ is a not uncommon self-deprecating way to excuse clumsiness on a keyboard.”
“It probably originated from people who did in fact have fat fingers when one had to push a typewriter key all the way down, though that’s not really an issue on a modern keyboard.”
“It also does not necessarily reflect a general state of obesity.”
“So NTA.”
“You reacted appropriately, client is offended for whatever inane reason, you apologized and moved on.”
“Now I’d just forget it and, well, move on.”- steinerific
“NTA.”
“This is a common phrase and doesn’t literally refer to someone’s weight, fat people use the phrase as well myself included.”
“In fact I consider it workplace friendly as well, it’s just so commonly used and accepted.”-Mountain-Hold-8331
“This isn’t an interpersonal conflict.”
“It’s a business communication question.”
“I’d discuss this with your supervisor if you have concerns that this may have been inappropriate.”
“But no, while ‘fat fingered’ is a tiny bit crass for a business call, it doesn’t make you an AH any more than ‘Butt-dialed’.”
“I’m a native English speaker and literally never once thought or had an impression that the term had anything to do with overweight people.”
“NTA.”
“The client made a weird tone-policing comment on a group call over a common turn of phrase.”-pdubs1900
“NTA.”
“I’ve used and have heard other people use this terminology thousands of times as someone who also works in corporate manufacturing.”
“Sounds like this person is overly sensitive and I wouldn’t give it any more thought.”- Brooklyn_Bunny
“NTA, typos, aka fat-fingering is part of life, and so is dealing with crazy, entitled people that think it’s their world and you’re just in it.”
“Your response should have been that her outburst is denigrating to people with common sense that would immediately know you weren’t literally referencing fat people and their potentially obese fingers (obviously use your inside voice where only you hear it in your head, or your outside voice if it’s your last day and you were leaving anyway).”
“F that client.”- Public_Structure2947
“NTA.”
“My go-to is ‘ham-handed’.”- commoncurtesy6
“We say sausage fingers, which essentially means the same thing.”
“NTA, as an overweight person who does not have sausage fingers.”- 85Neon85
“NTA.”
“That’s a commonly used phrase and the client is an annoying whiner.”- enitsirhcbcwds
“NTA.”
“It’s quite a stretch to conclude that the expression ‘fat-fingering’ refers in any way to overweight people.”- Regular_Boot_3540
“NAH.”
“If they are a client, as in a person paying you to work for them, then they are free to state that a term you used is against their personal or company beliefs.”
“You are free to feel it’s a common term because it is.”- Chorazin
“NTA.”
“I know many people with fat fingers who are not obese.”- BeautifulObvious7703
“NTA.”
“That person shouldn’t have interrupted the meeting to scold you for using a common phrase, which is not denigrating to the fatties of the world.”- schec1
“NTA.”
“That phrase gets used a million times a day in the corporate world.”
“But if you want the client’s business, just play ball with their nonsense and don’t use that phrase.”-deefop
“NTA.”
“I AM fat.”
“I literally do not care.”- DeezMFNutz420
“NTA.”
“It’s a perfectly normal phrase lmao.”- rirasama
“NTA.”
“I’m fat but I have pretty slender hands/fingers.”
“I don’t think this is denigrating at all.”
“Even though I don’t have fat fingers, I say it all the time because I’m just clumsy.”
“You’re in the clear, OP.”- runsandgoes
“NTA.”
“I’ve heard that so many times in my corporate setting.”
“I understand there are phrases that we shouldn’t say anymore but this feels like an overcorrection, and I say this as a fat person.”- keesouth
“NTA.”
“The client sounds sensitive, that’s how I’ve always heard and described it used in finance.”
“Especially when it comes to putting in a wrong numerical value.”
“However, if I were presenting or talking with an obese person, I might not use it.”- Cl_nker_is_a_slur
“Normal corporate term, NTA.”- doggynames
“We prefer the term husky fingers.”
“NTA.”- Karmaisafemaledog1
There were a few who could at least see the point of view of the OP’s client, even if they still didn’t think they did anything wrong:
“Just get used to saying ‘I made a typo’ around them.”
“NAH but if they don’t like it, it’s really not worth arguing about.”- acousticalcat
“NAH.”
“It’s a term my boss and people at work use within the firm liberally – but in this day and age, best not to use within external clients or anyone you don’t know, the conversational atmosphere.”
“My work also uses a lot of sports metaphors and old expressions.”
“My wife uses a lot of acronyms or buzzwords.”
“I used to think it was an obnoxious habit of our generation to buzzword and acronym everything.”
“She works for a large employer, which hires a lot of people in a large city, many from different cultures so it’s helpful to have standardized buzzwords.”
“Consequently, she’s from a family whose first language isn’t English.”
“So using eclectic expressions, metaphors, and being ‘folksy articulate’ flies well at my work but may not resonate with people outside that bubble.”- Medical-Island-6182
Some people are more easily offended than others.
Even so, as the OP was making a self-deprecating remark, one has to wonder why this client felt such a need to shame and scold them.
Regardless, it’s safe to assume that the OP will think about what they say to this particular client much more carefully moving forward.