It's not always easy for a person to stand up for themselves.
So many people go through life just taking what is dished out by others.
This can lead to a lot of self-esteem trauma.
And the few times when a person finally does snap back, they are often reprimanded.
It can all feel like a constant lose/lose situation.
Redditor Carefully_Done wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.
She asked:
"AITA for telling an ER nurse to stop scolding me after an 'incident' with a dirty wheelchair?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"I’ve been helping my mom out all week because she has a broken foot."
"Driving her around, helping with groceries, and the house."
"I am also F[emale] and 28."
"We were at the local hospital ER, and the situation was a mess."
"When we got there, there were zero wheelchairs available in the ER, so my mom had to use her crutches."
"She was absolutely exhausted and struggling."
"The triage nurse herself was the one who sent me to go find a wheelchair."
"I started to head out, but I was confused about where to go, so I came back to get further clarification."
"A paramedic standing there told me she didn't think there were any left in the main entrance, but the triage nurse told me, She doesn’t know what she’s saying. She doesn't work here. I’m the one who works here and knows.'”
"The paramedic made a bit of a face, but she offered to walk me up anyway since I’d never been to that part of the building, the main entrance (or this hospital in general before)."
"We get to the wheelchair stack, and I grab one from the exact same pile the paramedic did."
"Hers was clean."
"Mine looked a little damp, but I’d been at a different hospital last week where they wipe everything down before putting it back, so I assumed it was just wet from disinfectant."
"When I get back to the ER, this triage nurse starts giving me a moral lecture?"
"She starts saying I am 'inconsiderate and need to be more considerate of others,' and 'taking care of old people,' and be better,' and acting like my mom (who is only in her 50s!) was some senile patient I was neglecting."
"I never raised my voice, and I never swore."
"I just calmly said, 'Please stop scolding me.'"
"That apparently made it worse, because then she started scolding me about the fact that I told her to stop scolding me."
"She kept going on and on about how I, again, 'need to do better' and 'help the elderly.'"
"I had to say, 'Please, just stop,' several times before she finally quit."
"My mom was just super stressed and said I shouldn't have bothered saying anything (which is funny cause my mom can be very much the same, lol), but I truly don’t think I did anything wrong."
"I was just trying to help my mom in a confusing situation and didn't think I deserved to be lectured like a child."
"I'm also not a healthcare worker or taking care of the elderly in my day-to-day interactions, so I dunno felt like I was getting a lecture from a co-worker, almost."
The OP was left to wonder:
"AITA for sticking up for myself?"
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
"I'd report that nurse."
"Asking an untrained person to assist is one thing, unusual, but whatever."
"Scolding them for not knowing protocol?"
"Ego.NTA." ~ NatashOverWorld
"Yes, the Nurse should have sent staff to get a wheelchair, not the person who brought the patient to the hospital."
"I would have snapped back if she was so worried about the damn chair, she should have gotten it herself or had the staff do it, because it wasn't her job to get the chair, it was a member of the staff's job to get the chair!" ~ UnicornFarts1111
"NTA. Also, as someone in their 50s... wtf - even my elderly parents cringe at elderly."
"They would probably find it absolutely hilarious if I were called elderly in their presence."
"Or not in their presence."
"To be kind, I will assume she was having a bad night, but I think you handled it really well."
"And if I were her and having a bad night, that would have reminded me of less hostile behavior."
"Hope your mom heals quickly!" ~ fanofnone2019
"NTA. I’m also an R[egistered] N[urse]."
"Usually, you can get comment cards at the hospital."
"I would report this, and also review on your town/region's Facebook page. Hospitals HATE this shit going on social media."
"Name them, and shame them." ~ mothandravenstudio
"You need to speak to either the nurse educator or ward nurse. NTA."
"She was very much out of line."
"You may be helping the next person she tries to 'rule.'" ~ Motor-Ad5284
"That is nuts."
"I had to take my 74-year-old father (who I don't even consider 'elderly' since he still gets around fine) to the ER recently, and two people met us at the door with a wheelchair."
"We hadn't called ahead or anything - I dropped him at the door because I didn't want him walking a lot since he had just had an ablation."
"I can't imagine them telling me to go find a wheelchair in some random hospital."
"Who wants to wander around an unfamiliar place - especially a hospital - looking for some stray wheelchair?"
"Either way, you are obviously NTA."
"I am VERY non-confrontational, but if someone starts yelling at me, I will calmly tell them to stop at once."
"After that, I match their energy... lol."
"And WTF with 50's being elderly?!?"
"My 50's are looming ahead of me, and now I am going to be 'elderly'??!! LOL." ~ SeorniaGrim
"NTA. I’m just confused what she was even scolding you about?"
"She was the one who sent you away from your mother."
"I’m sure you would have stayed with her if you hadn’t just been ordered by that nurse to vacate that spot."
"It sounds like she just wants you to do all aspects of her job for her, and you literally did so."
"I don’t know wtf her problem was." ~ SpellNo3829
"NTA. The nurse was totally out of line and unprofessional." ~ Competitive-Top4520
"NTA. And her behavior sounds completely irrational and inappropriate, rude and insulting."
"You did not require that."
"Why she was unable to call a porter or other member of staff to take care of you is another issue."
"Consider making a formal complaint." ~ pankoforever
"NTA whatsoever."
"The triage nurse sounded like she was totally unhinged and over the top."
"I am not a ‘speak to the manager’ type of person, but I definitely would in this case." ~ cito4633
"NTA. Reporting her rudeness can save the next patient or their family this kind of distress... and remind her that it's her job to ensure each patient can safely move through the ER."
"If a wheelchair or stretcher is required, it's her job to ensure it is acquired, herself or by calling other staff, not sending family members on a wild goose chase." ~ JazzyKnowsBest13
"NTA. I have many doctor friends at different hospitals, and for some reason, they all tell me about how they have issues with some coworkers, and every time I ask for details, it is with a nurse."
"I don't know why this profession and school secretaries attract these kinds of people." ~ Sea-Ad-875
"Nurses largely run the hospitals."
"They know what is what and are generally more knowledgeable of day-to-day care taking and the medical side, more so than most doctors (with good reason)."
"With the massive knowledge and sheer willpower to get things done fast, efficiently, and correctly, they also get social power that comes with Getting Sh*t Done."
"The only ones who really look down on nurses are people outside of hospital settings and new doctors who just don't know better yet."
"So, nurses are the top dogs because they deserve to be the top dogs."
"Enter entitled people who seek the power and title but don't actually do the things that earn nurses that power."
"They just use the position to control others and feel better about themselves."
"They use the opportunity to bully people because they have likely been bullies their whole lives and use the power and credibility that comes with the nurse position to keep on bullying."
"The power just amplifies their suckiness tenfold."
"Nurses, social workers, teachers, and police are the jobs that give the most palpable, immense power over people and thus also draw the most assholes to them." ~ talkmemetome
"NTA. Some people working in health care are just insufferable."
"And they're not the doctors or the surgeons."
"It's almost as if some people were frustrated with being 'only' a nurse or anything that's not as valued as a doctor (I have a few examples like that in my family)."
"And these people are always the ones who seem to know better and feel legitimate to give people lectures like that." ~ Junior-Ad-2072
"NTA, but report her."
"She had zero right to speak to you like that, and if she can't handle treating patients appropriately, then she doesn't need to be in a face position for the hospital."
"I'm a bit of an a*s, so I would go in and make a big stink over it." ~ Megnuggets
"NTA. REPORT THE 'NURSE' extremely poor bedside manner."
"Care for the patient, and her critical personal opinions of you have no place here." ~ Imaginary-Goat1010
"NTA. The triage nurse was rude to the paramedic and rude to you."
"Write to the hospital and ask them to train her in how to be respectful and kind." ~ Spare_Ad5009
Reddit has your back, OP.
That nurse was out of line to you and the paramedic.
Sometimes people can't help but be condescending, but that type of behavior can come with consequences.
Like you calling her boss.
Good Luck to you and your mom.
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