Perhaps this goes without saying, but it seems like if two people are going to date each other, they should also… like each other.
But there are definitely couples out there who do enough petty stuff against each other that this might not be so obvious, side-eyed the members of the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor FigAffectionate8741, for example, had a girlfriend who sometimes ate his food under the guise that he was obese.
So when his birthday came around, the Original Poster (OP) refused to let her have any of his birthday cake, since she ate the last piece of his birthday cake the year before after he asked her not to.
He asked the sub:
“AITAH for not letting my girlfriend have a slice of my birthday cake after what she did last year?”
At the OP’s previous birthday, his girlfriend did something that left a bad taste in his mouth.
“Last year on my birthday, my girlfriend (26 Female) ate the last piece of my cake while I was at work.”
“Not just any cake, my favorite cake that my mom makes from scratch every year: chocolate cheesecake with banana flaky chips on top.”
“I had specifically told her I was saving that last slice for when I got home.”
The OP’s girlfriend did not try to apologize or make it up to him, either.
“When I asked her about it, she just shrugged and went, ‘Oh, I didn’t think you’d care.'”
“No apology; nothing. I was pretty annoyed but didn’t make a big deal out of it.”
“She’s done this before with other food. She tries to justify it and says it’s because of my obesity.”
At the OP’s latest birthday, he decided not to share his cake at all.
“This year, my mom made me the same cake again.”
“My girlfriend asked for a slice, and I told her, ‘Nah, after what happened last year, this one’s all mine.'”
“She laughed at first, but when she realized I was serious, she got p**sed. She said I was being ridiculous and ‘holding a grudge over cake.'”
“I told her it wasn’t about the cake; it was about her completely disregarding me last time.”
The OP’s revenge plan came with consequences.
“Now she’s barely speaking to me, and a couple of our friends are saying I’m being petty.”
“I don’t think I am, though. If she couldn’t respect it last year, why should she get any this year?”
“I felt very upset and hungry when she did it the first time. Now I feel vindicated, but I mean, she’s still mad at me.”
“AITAH?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some said that this was not about cake but the girlfriend disregarding the OP’s feelings.
“OP specifically noted to his girlfriend that he was saving the last piece for later. His girlfriend deliberately disrespected OP’s wishes and ate the cake.”
“It is not about the cake. This demonstrated that the girlfriend will always prioritize herself first over OP, even when it comes to something as small as a piece of cake.” – Agent_Raas
“I feel like a grudge like this fades into the background until your birthday comes back around and he probably thought he could get his petty revenge then.”
“I honestly don’t blame him, LOL, but he really should leave if she can’t see why eating someone else’s birthday cake is rude. This kind of behavior probably applies to far more than just birthday cake.” – Icy-Mortgage8742
“Did he eat 90 percent of last year’s cake and barely leave her any, AND want the last slice too? In that case, I can see why she’d assume he’s okay with her trying some. Did SHE eat the whole thing last year?”
“Personally, my husband and I try not to have a ‘last piece’ complex. That’s how you get spoiled food in the fridge. Instead, we celebrate finishing things, because it means it all got eaten and enjoyed rather than thrown out.”
“But we also like each other, so if he enjoyed something that I also enjoy, I’m happy.” – SystematizedDisarray
“NTA. Tell her it’s her ‘just deserts.'”
“If she doesn’t finally get it and apologize, dump her selfish a**.” – MaryKath55
“The real question is why is she still allowed in your life after she showed you how little respect she has for you a whole year ago!?” – Logicdamcer
Others were disgusted that the OP’s girlfriend justified her actions with the OP’s “obesity.”
“Bro, my mouth dropped open when I read, ‘She says it’s because of my obesity.’ So, like, she straight up said to you that she does this on purpose and then blames you for something she is doing on purpose? No. You’re NTA.”
“Why are you even still with her? Being happy alone is way better than being with someone who is cruel to you and plays mind games with you. Just break up with her. Like a week or two in, you’ll be like, ‘Oh my god, this is so peaceful. I’m so happy.'” – LyannasLament
“Her blaming the OP’s ‘obesity’ for her bad actions was the one that tipped it over for me. I was leaning toward, ‘Seriously, a slice of cake? Really?’ until he came out with that golden nugget.”
“If what he’s saying is true, she’s awful and he’s NTA.” – threesilklilies
“OP, this is not okay behavior, in any scenario. Her body-shaming you is the worst part.”
“Break up with her. I recently ended a six-year relationship and I have to be honest, I’ve never been happier.”
“I might die alone, but I will die alone without anyone giving me anxiety or making me feel small and like s**t. I will die alone on my own terms. NTA.” – Comrad1984
“As a former fat man, you’ll put up with some horrific behavior as long as it comes with the occasional bit of love. When you’re obese, you spend most of your time hating yourself, so when someone comes along and shows the tiniest bit of interest, you’ll eat it up as much as a cake in front of you even if you know it’s bad for you.”
“Enjoy your birthday cake, OP, but it’s time for you to enjoy your freedom, too.” – Jackski
“If he’s really obese, he may feel trapped because he doesn’t think he’ll be able to find another girl to like him. Probably feels like his options are limited and this is as good as he’ll get. But you don’t have to settle for this kind of treatment.”
“There’s somebody out there for everybody, and she’s not his somebody. She’s still out there and he won’t find her while this dud is in the way.” – zorggalacticus
Some urged the OP to rethink the relationship and to spend some time working on himself.
“This doesn’t sound like the healthiest of relationships, cake or no cake.” – glueintheworld
“I would normally say that cake is kind of a stupid and childish reason to break up over, but apparently it’s NOT a stupid and childish enough reason to not be petty over it a year later. So what do I know? But this doesn’t seem a healthy and fulfilling relationship to me.” – Yarriddv
“You two need to break up.”
“Pulling ‘power plays’ against each other for at least a year and holding onto resentment and not communicating is so odd! Just end it!” – PinkTalkingDead
“Yeah, so, really, this is insane.”
“He even says he ‘didn’t make a big deal about it.'”
“It sounds to me like she has no idea how much it means to him and he is being sooooooo f**king petty to hold it over her head a year later.”
“I also don’t know how their relationship has survived. It seems like the type that just keeps going from inertia. They never argue. Then eventually they divorce and the marriage goes down in flames.” – Any-Interaction-5934
“I’m so glad. My husband and I have probably eaten the last of something the other person fancied on countless occasions.”
“Is it a bit disappointing and annoying at the time? Yes.”
“Is it worth holding a year-long grudge over and then eating an entire cake by yourself just to ‘punish’ the other person? No, of course not, that’s the sort of behavior I expect between two children who are siblings, not two adults in a romantic relationship who are supposed to love each other.”
“It’s a slice of cake, not the family gold. Bake another one and let it go!” – AnxiousTerminator
“I don’t know. Bearing year-long grudges to get revenge 12 months later sounds very normal and healthy. I’d say this relationship has a long and stress-free future.” – rocketdog67
“To be honest, it’s not about who’s right or who’s wrong; it’s more like if you and her managed to basically keep an argument about a slice of cake going for over a year. I don’t know how the f**k you managed to even make the relationship work for an entire year.”
“I don’t necessarily mean that this has been an ongoing argument for the entire year, but that he let this set in the back of his head and become part two of the argument a year later. This has probably been an ongoing thought in his head for who knows how long leading up to his birthday at the very least.”
“None of this is healthy, or happy.” – nolan5111
While the subReddit could understand the frustration of not getting to eat the last piece of your own birthday cake, they couldn’t imagine creating a year-long revenge plan over it.
This could easily have ruined the relationship, but given how the couple seemed to treat each other, there may have not been that much to ruin to begin with.