At some point, we've all been in a position at work where our boss has spoken sternly to us.
Most of the time, they weren't deliberately trying to make us feel bad; they were just trying to get a point across, and their tone reflected the urgency of the situation.
In some unfortunate situations, however, some bosses' or managers' tones cross the line from stern to disrespectful.
Redditor Expensive_Chapter_87 had a fairly stressful job, not helped by the fact that she was expecting a baby.
However, the original poster (OP) was so good at her job that her boss entrusted her with an assignment most others refused to touch.
While the OP happily stepped up to the plate, she was taken aback by how her boss treated her and wasn't afraid to let her displeasure be known.
Worried she might have stepped out of line, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**Hole Here" (AITAH).
Unlike the similar 'Am I The A**Hole' (AITA) subReddit, AITAH allows Redditors to ask for advice on issues that are not permitted on AITA, such as asking for advice or posting about ending relationships. Voting acronyms aren't required, and no final judgment is declared.
The OP asked fellow Redditors:
"AITAH for how I handled a doctor snapping his fingers at me?"
The OP explained why she couldn't tolerate the way one of her bosses recently treated her at work:
"I (26 F[emale]) am an ER nurse and am 32 weeks pregnant currently."
"Today I was floating around the ER and just helping everyone in general."
"I have never had an issue with a coworker or ER provider before, and I generally get along pretty well with everyone."
"Today we had a patient who was severely autistic and nonverbal and needed a Foley catheter replaced."
"Guardian told us he has to be medicated with Ativan beforehand, and it takes around 5-6 people to hold him down for it, as he’s a strong guy."
"My worker, who I’ll call C, was the primary nurse."
"She mentioned the patient seemed to like me, as he actually let me take vital signs on him calmly (EMS couldn’t get any due to being combative) and kept trying to show me things on his iPad and reach out to hold my hand and his guardian even stated that was unusual for him and he seemed calm with me."
"C asked me for help administering IM Ativan before the procedure."
"I don’t restrain or lift people anymore as I am not risking getting kicked or punched while heavily pregnant."
"But they said they would restrain, and all I had to do was give the shot, as she felt he’d be calmer with me since he liked me."
"They had tried to replace his catheter earlier (no clue if they gave anything then as I wasn’t there for it), and they couldn’t do it and had to call urology down for help as the catheter seemed stuck."
"Urologist wanted a 14fr catheter, which we didn’t have available in the unit."
"Since I was floating, I called another unit and asked them to set some aside so we could give the IM Ativan for the second attempt, and I could run upstairs to grab the catheter while the Ativan kicked in."
"So it was me, C, ER doc and guardian at bedside, I was talking to the patient the whole time, and he actually didn’t even have to be restrained for me to give the shot and didn’t seem to react much when I gave it as he was still trying to show me his iPad."
"I walked out of the room to then immediately go upstairs to grab the catheter."
"The urologist happened to be walking in at that same time and stated, 'where is the catheter?'"
"I informed him I was on my way to grab it and it would only be about 2 minutes for me to be back."
"He then said, 'well I needed this 2 minutes ago'."
'I said, "I was in the room administering the medicine. I can’t do both things at once, so I’ll be back shortly with the catheter.”
"I turned towards the door when he snapped his fingers at me and said, 'then go fetch, go run'."
"I literally froze and turned towards look at him and said, 'excuse me?'”
"He then once again snapped his fingers at me and said, 'Go, go running,' in a rude tone."
"I almost lost my sh*t."
"I said, 'We're not doing this (snapped my fingers); I’m not a dog to be fetching your things. So you can check that attitude at the door while I go get those catheters.”
"He stood there frozen and didn’t say anything and I walked away."
"When I came back, he was in the room snapping at people, including the ER doctor."
"When I walked in, I calmly placed the catheters on the table and walked out."
"My coworker and ER doctor stated that he was grumbling under his breath the whole time, and he immediately walked out of the ER once he finished the procedure."
"My ER director asked me what happened later and was shocked he actually snapped his fingers at me and said she’d bring it up as it was highly disrespectful."
"One of my coworkers told me I could’ve just kept quiet and ignored him, and I’m wondering if I was wrong and should’ve handled it differently."
"The ER doctor didn’t actually say anything, but he first bumped me silently when he came out of the room."
"So AITAH?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in, with some using the voting acronyms:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks HereI
- NFO - More Information Needed
The Reddit community firmly agreed that the OP did nothing wrong.
Everyone agreed that the behavior of the urologist was both disrespectful and inappropriate, with many agreeing that the OP handled things much more calmly than they would have:
"NTA."
"But probably the first person to ever try to put this man in his place, good for you."- anxybean
"Actually, you needed to report his behavior to HR immediately."
"That's absolutely not a reasonable work environment."- Green_Poet_5510
"I'm amazed he made it out alive."
"Doctors normally learn very quickly to respect their nurses if they want to get anything done."
"Your coworker was wrong, you do not tolerate that kind of behavior."- Beth21286
"Listen."
"I do not work in the same type of job, but one time a coworker snapped his fingers at me and told me to clean up his lunch tray."
"I outright refused because, what?"
"I told him afterward, privately, to NEVER snap his fingers at me again and that I, too, am not a dog."
"In response, he laughed and snapped his fingers in my face."
"He did it again in the lunchroom the next day."
"So I went to HR and complained."
"He got called into the office, and he snapped his fingers at the head of HR."
"He was fired."
"You are NTA."- whackywildflower
"NTA."
"Former ER nurse here."
"I’ve never met a urologist that wasn’t a d*ck."- hashigraves
"I’m a Rad Tech in an ER."
"You did the right thing."
"I’ve put ortho docs in check before too, we’re all there to help, there is no reason to be rude."
"It’s annoying that we have to tell them this, but you were not wrong to do so."
"The doctor was wrong and rude."
"Also, please be careful while you’re pregnant."
"I had a pregnant nurse try to hold a patient during an X-ray yesterday; I had to forcefully kick her out of the room lol."
"Nothing is worth it, just stay safe!"
"NTA."- dreamer0303
"NTA."
"Your coworker can go get snapped at all they want."- night_noche
"NTA."
"But why does every urologist turn into a raging d-bag the minute they go into the ER?"- throwawaylandscape23
"As a nurse, I say you go, girl! I had an encounter one time in the hospital I worked at with a doctor that everybody hated and feared."
"I mean everybody. He was just an a****** to be an a******."
"He comes into a patient's room one time at shift change at 7:30 in the morning, and I had just walked into the room to a complete mess."
"Stuff was on the floor; the patient was disheveled; it looked like a bomb had gone off in there."
"This doctor literally walked in right behind me and started scolding me for the condition of this patient and the room, even though he had seen me walk into the room."
"I turned to him and said, ' Oh no, you're not going to yell at the nurse who just walked in to the same mess you just walked into and who just came in and got report 10 minutes ago."
"Oh no, Doctor So-and-so, we're not going to do that today."
"He stopped, stunned, looked at me, and said, ' Okay, honey, I didn't mean anything by that."
"I said, 'Hey, dude, don't ever call me honey again."
"I'm not your honey, nor would I ever be your honey."
'And I walked out of the room."
"I was the hero of the hospital that day because the conversation was so loud everybody heard it."
"That guy never messed with me again and actually avoided me if he saw me coming down the hall. I loved having that power over that complete jerk."- WTF4Sally
Someone in a managerial or executive position has the right to ensure things run efficiently and meet standards.
They do not have the right to treat their employees or colleagues with disrespect.
Hopefully this urologist has learned his lesson, or else he'll have to deal with one of his most talented nurses no longer working in his service.
