When traveling, it can help to know someone who lives in the city you are visiting.
In addition to having the opportunity to spend time with them and catch up, it also allows you to save money that you would spend on a hotel room, and stay in their guest room or pull-out couch.
Of course, for some people, checking into a hotel is part of what makes traveling fun, and would prefer to stay in a hotel, even if they do have friends or family in the place they’re visiting.
In some cases, people might choose to stay in a hotel because of that.
Redditor sashanichole01 did not have the best time on a recent trip where they stayed with the OP’s sister.
The visit was so unfortunate, in fact, that the original poster (OP) vowed that they would never stay in her house again, and would instead pay up for a hotel.
Something their husband found to be utterly ridiculous.
Wondering if they were overreacting, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**Hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for wanting to stay at a hotel instead of my husband’s sister’s house when we visit her city.”
The OP explained why should they ever be visiting the city where their sister-in-law (SIL) lives, they would much prefer to stay in a hotel instead of her house.
“As background, the last time we went to the city where she lives I had a terrible accident where I fell down the steps face first on concrete, chipped and pushed back 3 of my teeth and split my lip into two, amongst other injuries.”
“I was literally traumatized.”
“The next day everyone was planning on going to the local shopping center and I of course wasn’t up to going anywhere due to me being on pain meds and my face looking crazy.”
“So I told my husband I wasn’t going to go and he told his sister.”
“His sister said, ‘well let me ask my husband if it’s ok if she stays in our house alone’.”
“I had to wait probably 2 hours for her husband to respond and I was told I could only stay in the bedroom we were staying in while they were gone.”
“Now, their house, their rules – I get it.”
“But I’ve never felt so unwanted as a guest and I damn near felt like I was a criminal or something.”
“So I swore in my head I’d never stay at their home again.”
“But my husband thinks I’m overreacting and being petty.”
“I simply don’t want to be where I’m tolerated.”
“I wasn’t raised like that – if I welcome you into my home, I want you to treat it like it’s your home.”
“But maybe I’m tripping.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to stay in their SIL’s house.
Everyone agreed that the OP’s SIL treated her very poorly, and she should not have to stay in a place where she clearly wasn’t welcome, and their husband should understand this.
“That sh*t is wild.”
“What’s up with your husband?”- United-Following-838
“Your sil is a real piece of work though.”
“Stay at a nice hotel – tell her you MUST be allergic to something in her house, since sleeping in the bedroom gave you such a sinus headache!”
“Then, when you go to her house, never, not once, leave your purse unattended.”
“Make a point of picking it up every time you move around.”
“If anyone asks why, get all wide-eyed and innocent and say that your wallet is in there.”
“Give no other explanation.”
“Let them know insults go both ways.”- Appropriate-Beat-364
“I’d never set foot in their house again.”
“I can’t believe your husband was ok with that.”- SnooPets8873
“Not allowing you out of the guest bedroom sounds crazy!”
“Your SIL and her husband are weirdos.”
“They don’t trust you, ok fine, you tried it and you learned.”
“You should stay at a hotel, even if your husband stays with her.”- nucleusambiguous7
“Their behavior is bizarre.”
“Sounds like hubby has a control thing and SIL is his enabler.”
“You’re right to not want to stay there.”
“Your husband should be ashamed to call you petty!”
“His sister and BIL are the petty ones.”
“Why doesn’t he have your back?”
“Why bother going to see them at all?”
“That’s just plain weird.”
“Is it not her home too?”
“Can she not make a judgement call?”
“Or does she not trust you, but want to put the blame on her husband?”
“Honestly, it doesn’t sound like they’re actually comfortable having people stay if they feel its necessary to chaperone their guests at all tines, so it would make everyone more comfortable in you got a hotel room.”- Sfb208
“If your husband wants to stay in his sister’s house, then he can stay in his sister’s house while you enjoy a nice, quiet hotel room.”
“If your sister in law asks why you’re staying in a hotel, just tell her if you’re gonna be confined to a bedroom for your stay, you’ll pick your own, thanks.”- NorthernLitUp
“They’ve got a sex dungeon or sum’n, bet.”- zalkaare
“That’s really, really rude.”
“I’d never stay there again either.”- OldLadyP
“That’s really f*cked up plus I would never have left you alone the day after such a bad injury, especially to go shopping.”
“Ffs. I wouldn’t go back to their house – I wouldn’t visit them at all.”
“And you have a husband problem.”- hootiebean
“But your husband really needs to step up and have your back.”- doobieduder
“Your boundary is on point here.”
“You are neither overreacting nor being petty.”
“They were very rude hosts.”- Content-Plenty-268
“Your in-laws are appalling.”
“They didn’t show compassion for your injuries.”
“I wouldn’t want to stay in an environment that caused stress.”
“Your husband should’ve had your back.”- KaraFromKrypton
“NTA If you have guests treat them like guests not parolees.”
“If you don’t like having people in your home just say no.”
“But to accept guests then act like it’s a big deal for them to be in your home alone is rude.”
“I don’t blame you.”
“I wouldn’t stay there a second time either.”- Rude_Vermicelli2268
“This is awful.”
“I would never say that to a guest in my home, let alone an injured guest!”
“Did you fall in their house or on their property?”
“Which would make it worse, because they could be held responsible.”
“Your sil and your husband are selfish jerks.”
“You are NTA.”- sonicblue217
The OP later returned with an update, sharing that their husband’s perception of the matter took a significant shift, and clarifying he didn’t quite deserve the beating he received from the Reddit community.
‘In sum- my husband saw the error of his ways!”
“He stayed with me in the hotel this past weekend AND he apologized.”
“I showed him the post after he just didn’t get why I was upset before we left for our flight.”
“He spent maybe 5 minutes reading the comments and he looked up and SINCERELY apologized.”
“He said he honestly didn’t know it was that hurtful to me.”
“As a side-note, he lets everything roll off his back… even things that he should be offended by, he isn’t – which is one of the things I love about him but also don’t lol.”
“He was most definitely insensitive, but I don’t blame it on his heart, he is a rational guy who forgives and forgets easily and just thought staying at his sisters was quick and easy, but he understood my perspective and now believes it was definitely a slight toward me.”
“So y’all – please offer some grace to my husband.”
“He said he understands me never wanting to stay there again and I told him I most definitely won’t be.”
“As for his sister, I didn’t say a word to her the entire graduation lol.”
“When it was time to go, my husband hugged her and said ‘we’ would meet up for breakfast with them.”
“She just looked a little stunned and said ‘oh ok’.”
“He woke up and went to breakfast with her and her husband while I slept in, stayed in the hotel and ordered breakfast in and it was GLORIOUS!”
“We even ended up staying a couple extra days since we both own our own online businesses.”
“Thanks for all your thoughts!”
Some people get a little touchy about other people touching and using their things.
However, when you welcome people into your home, particularly family, it is your job to make them feel at home.
Not treat them like prisoners, forced to stay in one room.
While it’s nice the OP’s husband can finally appreciate the poor way his sister treated his spouse, one can only hope his sister will also understand her behavior is no way to treat any guests.