Growing up has many challenges.
School is hard.
Parents can be difficult.
And home life can be stressful.
Hopefully, there is always a way to make it all better by talking it out.
Redditor BroccoliLoud3538 to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.
She asked:
"WIBTA if I asked my mom to put a diaper on my sister?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"My 14 F[emale] family just moved into a new house, we are still getting settled in, and we only have two beds right now, so me and my little sister 7 F are sharing one in my room."
"But there's a problem, my little sister wets the bed every night, and it's really annoying having to wake up in her pee every morning, and my room is starting to smell really bad."
"I know it's not her fault, she's just doing it while asleep and doesn't mean to annoy me, but it's still really annoying waking up to find out I got peed on every morning."
"I wanna ask my mom to put her in diapers at night so she doesn't pee on me anymore, but I'm worried that would be an AH thing for me to do because I'm the reason we had to move."
"I'm gonna start high school in the fall, and our neighborhood high school, which I would've gone to, is a really bad school."
"My parents say the teachers are bad, and kids get bullied, and there are drug dealers all over the school."
"We had to move to get me into a much better school."
"If I tried to ask my mom for a favor right now, I think it would be mean cuz she and my dad have already done so much for me."
"And they're both kinda stressed out right now cuz of the move and stuff, and I don't wanna be a jerk and add to that."
The OP was left to wonder:
"WIBTA?"
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
"NTA. She should be wearing something at night to prevent soaking the bed and sheets each night, and it's unfair to make you wake up covered in her urine each night."
"I'd honestly ask if she can sleep with your parents instead if they're not willing to deal with this."
"I'm sorry."
"And it's not your fault they moved."
"You don't control the school districts."
"Don't take that on."
"Edited to note that I've removed my note about 7 being too old for nightly bedwetting."
"Many have pointed out this isn't particularly concerning, especially with a move and changes, and this is still an age where it's perfectly normal."
"I'm happy to be corrected about this." ~ FrontTour1583
"Agree with all of this, except it's not actually that uncommon to still be wetting the bed at 7."
"As long as they have told her doctor, it's probably fine."
"Some people just sleep more deeply than others."
"Some kids don't develop nighttime bladder until over, even up to puberty, without it being a sign or anything being wrong." ~ Kylynara
"Sounds like she still needs pull-ups."
"Also, a waterproof mattress protector."
"And bedwetters shouldn't be sharing a bed with others until it's under control."
"Are you guys limiting her fluid intake before bed?"
"That can also help." ~ Stefie25
"NTA. There are nighttime pants /diapers for children her age who have yet to develop bladder control, and having to sleep in her urine is disgusting for both of you!"
"One word of caution, let your sister know it's her bladder that has a problem, and you don't blame her. I'm sure she is embarrassed enough." ~ Maddie215
"NTA. It isn't your fault you had to move."
"Your parents made the decision that you need a safer school."
"That is their job and their responsibility as your parents."
"Your sister sounds like a doctor visit would be appropriate to make sure there isn't something wrong, since she is still wetting the bed."
"You would not be in the wrong for asking your parents to have her wear pull-ups while you are sharing a bed."
"It is not unreasonable to not want to wake up in a puddle of someone else's pee every morning." ~ Donutsmell
"NTA. If a seven-year-old cannot get through the night without wetting their bed, it's time for the parents to consult with the child's doctor and determine what might be going on."
"This is an issue for your parents and sister to deal with." ~ Individual_Ad_9213
"NTA. You're a teenager in high school, and you already deserve privacy, let alone to sleep without being soaked in urine."
"I'm not sure if finances have anything to do with your situation, but an air mattress is 20 or 30 bucks at Walmart and would solve this problem in a way that might be easier to bring up to your mom." ~ _muses
"There is a device you can purchase online."
"It's an alarm you wear on your arm that connects to a pad in your pajamas/underwear."
"When the user pees the alarm goes off and wakes the user."
"After a few weeks, she will learn to wake up to pee.
"My daughter used it and it works." ~ Wrench-Turnbolt
"NTA. While I'm sure that your parents are stressed."
"Having to clean it up and do laundry all the time is just as stressful."
"I'm sure they are reluctant due to her age, but it's a problem that they will need to address." ~ Reasonable_Mark_8524
"NTA, your sister is in need of help, as most kids only rarely do by 5-6, so every night by 7 is way too much."
"And second, that is unhealthy for you and her."
"Sit them down and have a serious conversation, as even though it might be hard, advise a pull-up or similar for immediate relief and tell your parents that she needs to go to a doctor for a long-term resolution."
"Good luck, kiddo."
"14 can be hard, but you got this!" ~ Magick-Panda
"NTA: Have a calm conversation with your mom when it is just the two of you."
"Explain what is happening, and that it is a problem for you and your sister - she must be embarrassed by this."
"Hopefully, your mother is empathetic enough to do something about this." ~ booksiwabttoread
"Oh, sweet girl!!!!"
"First, I want to say, don't put the pressure and guilt onto yourself that 'you're the reason you had to move.'"
"Maybe that was the deciding factor, but moving to a better school district is for everyone's sake, I promise."
"Your sister will go to high school one day."
"Your parents would suffer if they saw you being bullied or falling behind at your other school."
"Do not carry that weight!!"
"Second, you would be well within your rights to tell your mom and dad what's going on."
"They are still the parents, not you."
"If your sister were sleeping alone, they would still need to do something about it."
"The fact that you're sharing a bed and it's directly affecting you daily, you should absolutely say something."
"Don't embarrass or tease little sister about it."
"But they should be able to get her some nighttime pull-ups and a mattress protector, and that should solve a lot of issues." ~ Substantial-Hat128
"NTA: My daughter had issues wetting the bed until she was in the 8th grade due to a bladder issue, and she was a really heavy sleeper."
"Ask mom if your sister can wear pull-ups at night until she stops peeing in your bed because you don't like waking up to urine, and your room is starting to smell like a urinal."
"If mom says no, then ask mom if sister can sleep in her and dad's bed and pee there at night instead." ~ AlohaTutu60
"You don't need the stress and lack of sleep; your sister doesn't need the embarrassment."
"It needs to be addressed, although diapers may not be the best solution."
"A doctor visit may be helpful, and a waterproof pad would definitely be a good idea. NAH." ~ EtherPhreak
"NTA. As others have said, your sister is a bit too old to be wetting the bed every night, and it would be a good idea to have a doctor check out her situation."
"But, finances are tight right now for a lot of people, so spending money on diapers or doctors may not be an option for your parents right now."
"That said, you still deserve a dry, pee-free place to sleep."
"As an alternative, maybe ask your parents for an air mattress that you or your sister could sleep on separately."
"A twin-size one at Walmart can be bought for around $20."
"You can probably find them even cheaper elsewhere online." ~ Mrs_Dafthart
"NTA. This is a practical solution to a real problem."
"You are being considerate by recognizing that your parents are stressed."
"Bedwetting at 7 isn't uncommon for kids during stressful times."
"An overnight pull-up would probably be good for everyone." ~ xstargirlcutie
OP came back to chat...
"Okay, everyone, I wanna say thanks so much for helping me understand it's not my fault we moved."
"I know my parents did it cuz they want what's best for me, and I was feeling guilty about that, but I shouldn't."
"I know it's a good thing and my sister will get to go to a better high school to cuz if it. "
"Just wanna say thanks to everyone who said it wasn't my fault, cuz you all really helped me."
"I'm gonna ask my parents about getting some pull-ups for my sister."
"Someone talked about things called goodnights, and I think they would be great for my sister to wear."
Reddit feels for you, OP.
This is a difficult situation.
It sounds like you got some great help through Reddit.
Be strong, stand up for yourself.
Good Luck.
















New Mom Irate After Father-In-Law Ruins Her Birthday With 'Vulgar' Comment About Her Breasts
There's nothing quite like the feeling of going through all the work to prepare a fun celebration, just for someone to undo it with an unkind or gross comment.
That feeling just gets worse when it's your birthday, and that comment was made by someone who's supposed to care about you, sympathized the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Rude-Pepper-2389 had recently given birth and decided to have a special birthday celebration to reconnect with her loved ones after becoming a mom.
When her father-in-law stopped by unexpectedly and then made comments about her body, the Original Poster (OP) was left so uncomfortable that it ruined the whole celebration for her.
She asked the sub:
The OP wanted to have a special birthday celebration after her baby was born.
"I currently have a five-month-old and haven’t really been taking care of myself or dressing up since having the baby."
"It’s my (25 Female) birthday, and we were having friends over at our house for a private dinner to celebrate."
"My husband (24 Male) and I have been together since we were 18."
"I decided to put on this new silk shirt I got, which, admittedly, was low-cut, but I felt cute in it and felt comfortable around the friends we were having over."
Everything was fine until the OP's father-in-law (FIL) stopped by unexpectedly.
"My husband's dad decided to stop by on his way home from work."
"I will say, he was likely drunk. He works two hours away and proudly told my husband he's down to only four beers on his drive home each day... so, that's healthy."
"When he came in, I was on the couch with my baby propped up beside me, bottle feeding him. Keep in mind, I am not breastfeeding, so no, my breasts are not any larger right now."
"My husband's dad leaned down to look at the baby and then suddenly shouted, 'D**n, son, she could knock you out with those things in bed! Like cracking two coconuts together.'"
"This was fully and undoubtedly in reference to my breasts."
The OP was shocked by the comment and very uncomfortable.
"It made me deeply uncomfortable and embarrassed."
"I was so stunned, I couldn’t even process what he said to me, and our friends just stared at me, blinking."
"He’s a redneck, so he's said some pretty vulgar stuff over the years, but this just seems to take the cake, as it was the first time it was directed at me."
"When he stepped out, I told my husband he needed to speak to him, and that the comment wasn’t okay."
"I went to change clothes and decided to never ever wear that shirt again."
"When I brought it up to my husband, he said he didn't hear the comment at first, but then he laughed when I told him what he said. He's always laughed when he feels awkward and has always had a hard time standing up to his parents in any capacity."
"When he and my father-in-law spoke, my FIL just said, 'I shouldn’t have said that to her, I know how she can be,' which just feels even more like I’m just being dramatic."
"Since then, I think my husband just wants me to drop it and move on, truthfully."
The OP wasn't sure what to do after what happened.
"This genuinely ruined my entire night. Am I just too sensitive, or was this an inappropriate thing to say?"
"There's also been no apology since then. This happened on Thursday, and then my father-in-law came by again on Friday with flowers to wish me a happy Mother's Day before Mother's Day Sunday."
"I think that was his way of trying to just breeze past the awkwardness. He's never gotten me a gift the whole seven years I've known him, so the flowers were odd. But I still feel really uncomfortable."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that her father-in-law's comments were rude and just plain creepy.
"NOR at all. That was really rude of him. Anyone would be offended." - Bookbringer
"NOR. That’s firmly in the category of what should be an 'inside thought,' and we should learn what those are at a much younger age than this guy is."
"F**king h**l, this is an absolutely mental thing to say out loud, let alone to your daughter-in-law." - Electronic-Fennel828
"FIL is an AH. I love that you think his being a redneck excuses it, but d**n. Even rednecks should know better than to speak that way to their son's wife."
"What does your husband have to say? Does he understand how breath-takingly rude his father was, or is he Team 'That's Just How He Is'?"
"I'd go very low contact with the old perv. NOR, he put you in an uncomfortable position with his crude remark. Is he married? I'd tell the MIL. I'd tell the whole family. Yes, it's embarrassing, but he is the one who should be embarrassed. Don't accept his non-apology." - Top-Bit85
"Maybe I’m desensitized after having large breasts since I was 13 (I’m 28 now), but I let out a little snort based on how immature of a joke it was. I’d simply tell FIL, 'Yes, I know, my boobs are big,' and move on."
"That said, I would never make such a comment about another person's body. Just because I'm technically fine with it doesn't mean I assume anyone else is!"
"Not everyone is the same, and if OP felt uncomfortable, she’s NOR. Her body, her boundaries." - Both_Original2094
"I’m sorry. That’s upsetting. My father is like this with his father. Even if it’s very offensive comments, he’s uncomfortable and has problems confronting him. It sounds like your husband isn’t going to have a talk with him, which is hurtful."
"I would explain to your husband how uncomfortable the situation was for you and that it’s a serious matter, especially if it happens again. And if he still tries to brush it off, then I would tell him you no longer want your FIL coming to your home."
"It’s your life, too, and he’s not the one being hurt here, you are." - w_coastultraviolence
Others were specifically angry about the tactics the father-in-law used to try to get out of trouble.
"Seriously? Saying 'I know how she can be' is a classic way to blame the victim for having boundaries. It’s your birthday, not a Hooters convention. What a creep. If he can’t look at the baby without checking out your breast, he shouldn't be invited to the house." - Specific_Parsnip3264
"'I know how she can be' is so f**ked up. He's the one being a disgusting person. You need to shine up your husband's spine to properly call him out at the time next time, because there will be a next time." - dancepantz
"The bit that pisses me off the most is, 'I know how she can be,' which is his way of making it her problem that she doesn't like her FiL sexualising her in front of her friends." - Outside-Partait-8935
"The 'joke' comment is gross, but that follow-up comment is infuriating. NOR, OP. But this guy will be in your life for a while, so firmly & calmly shutting this stuff down is completely appropriate."
"I'd wear the d**n shirt again to the next family function and look him right in the eyes next time!" - RationalFish
"When we let things like this slide for others, it's not long before it ends up on our doorstep, and of course, nobody says anything because keeping the peace is the norm. It doesn't have to be getting into their face and yelling abuse back. Just a comment such as, 'Well, that's super tacky to say,' or asking them why they'd say that." - Kattnapped
"The OP said, 'He's said some pretty vulgar stuff over the years... but this is the first time it was directed to me.'"
"Normalise calling stuff out when they are talking about others, and they won't feel so comfortable saying it to you."
"It's a gross thing for him to say, but I guess him buying you flowers is his way of saying sorry."
"Sounds like you are in the situation of a lot of new mothers, where you suddenly realise this stuff matters because you want better influences for your child, and better support for yourself. NOR." - Jumpy-Jello-
Now, about that shirt...
"Please re-think your decision to never wear the cute shirt again, girl!! It's something that you liked very much because it made you feel good about yourself. Don't let some backwoods id**t ruin that for you."
"Wear that shirt till it's worn out and can't be worn anymore!! You should be able to feel good about yourself in whatever you like to wear."
"Your husband should have immediately checked his father, not waited until he was told to do so after his father left the room. In front of everyone there, your husband should have told his father not to ever speak about you or to you in that kind of manner, and if his father doesn't like it, he knows where the door is."
"Hubby should have called him out for his response as well. You did absolutely nothing wrong. You were not the problem; his dad was. This comes down to your husband needing to protect his wife, and he didn't do that." - Lynzo141982
"If he is a redneck, like you said, he won't outright apologize, but flowers are his way of saying sorry."
"I hope he won't say anything again, or else you can expect a nicely tended garden for at least a year."
"About your top, I hope you can wear it again. It takes a lot to feel cute, being a new mum."
"If not, get some fabric dye, dye the top a different color, and embroider a flower on it. This makes the top new, different, and every time you wear it, you can use the mantra ... I'm cute, I don't care what anyone says."
"You've got this!!" - No_Kangaroo_6637
Even if the father-in-law was joking and meant no harm, this is one of those situations where he needs to admit that his joke did not land well, he did cause harm, and he needs to apologize. Just because some people enjoy joking in that manner does not mean that everyone will be comfortable with it, and it's important to respect everyone's boundaries and zones of comfort.