When a family member is behaving poorly, sometimes the best thing you can do is call them out on it, if you’re ready for the consequences.
One teen caused much more drama than he was expecting when he called his brother out for his sexist views of women.
Redditor “AskSome3043” posted in the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit, wondering if he was in the wrong for finally trying to put his brother in his place.
The teen asked:
“[Am I the a**hole] for calling my brother a piss baby?”
The Redditor explained how his older brother is an “incel,” or involuntarily celibate “nice guy.”
“My brother (27[male]) lives with my parents and I (16m). My brother is a nice guy/incel. He’s constantly ranting about how girls won’t go out with him, and how apparently they’re all dirty wh**es for not liking him. My parents seem to only encourage his behavior.”
“What’s worse is he’s a gym teacher, so his female students (some of whom are my classmates) are exposed to his nasty a** attitude.”
The teen’s feelings came to a head during his brother’s latest rant.
“Last night, my brother went on another long rant about the latest girl who managed to resist his ‘nice guy charm’.”
“He kept going on about it, and I got annoyed because of it. I told him, ‘Maybe if you weren’t such a piss baby someone would want to date you.’”
“(‘Piss baby’ was said because my parents have forbidden the term ‘incel’ in our house. Because my brother gets upset over it. Also, it was the first thing I could come up with other than ‘incel’.)”
The brother didn’t like being told this.
“Surprise, my brother gets upset about it.”
“My dad tells me to apologize to my brother, and I tell him I wasn’t going to apologize to a nasty a** piss baby who goes around treating people (mainly women) like s**t just because he’s a ‘nice guy.’”
The teen’s family reacted much more dramatically than he expected.
“Things escalate to where my dad, brother and I are all screaming at each other at the dinner table. It ends with me being told to find a friend to stay with for the night, because my parents (and brother) are sooo disappointed in me.”
“I got a long voice mail telling me how disappointing I was. I got told I went too far, and should regret my actions.”
But the teen doesn’t regret what he said.
“I don’t regret my actions, and I don’t think I went too far, but whatever.”
“AITA for calling my brother a piss baby?”
Redditors wrote in anonymously on the OP’s (Original Poster’s) confrontation, using the following scale:
- NTA: “Not the A**hole”
- YTA: “You’re the A**hole”
- ESH: “Everybody Sucks Here”
- NAH: “No A**holes Here”
Many couldn’t believe how toxic the teen’s family seemed.
“NTA. And your parents are wretched for encouraging his behavior. Most people don’t want incels because they’re psychopaths.”
“Also, you could get the law involved for them kicking you out since you’re a minor” – CoconutxKitten
“Ah, like father like son. Sometimes it’s really unfortunate when the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Hopefully, at some point in his life your brother realizes he’s being horrible and stops.” – dragonesszena
“Yup… sounds like the OPs assessment of 27-year-old brother’s character is pretty much dead on.”
“The parents are enablers. Would the older brother be a ‘piss baby’ today if his parents had confronted him with the truth about himself years ago, rather than listening to him whine and moan and blame everyone but himself for his troubles all this time?”
“There comes a point where someone’s got to speak the truth, even if it hurts.”
“And if he’s 27 years old and has a job, wtf is he still doing living at home with his parents? Teachers don’t make bank, but they DO generally make enough to not have to still live with mommy and daddy.”
“Let me guess, he’s a piss baby about that too? Lol” – UmbraeexMachina
They definitely couldn’t believe they would resort to throwing a minor out of the house.
“NTA – am I the only one that his parents kicked him out while he is a minor? like, holy s**t batman that is illegal. keep calling him a piss baby and even a creep.” – vulpinedevil
“I hope they get in serious f’king trouble for kicking you out. Oh, my god. They’re horrible people. They KICKED THEIR OWN KID OUT, WHO ISN’T EVEN A LEGAL ADULT YET. OP, I hope you never have to deal with them again because they sound like horrible people. NTA” – overbastionedchara
Not to mention the parents’ support of toxic masculinity and sexism.
“NTA. You’re never the a**hole for standing up for what is right.”
“Why are your parents [so] intent on protecting him?”
“Have you considered talking about his disturbing attitude towards women with your mom, privately just the two of you?” – SauronofMordor
Never mind the fact that exposing young women to the brother’s behavior is hugely problematic.
“Okay, WHOA. Some sixteen years old girls are being exposed to his misogyny because he’s a gym teacher? That’s the real crisis here. Men like that don’t generally get better as they get older. Someone needs to step in there before a girl gets hurt. So, NTA.” – Greeneyestexas
“NTA. He’s a toxic and possibly dangerous person who probably shouldn’t be given a position of power over young teenage girls. PLEASE continue to point out his toxic behavior to him at the VERY LEAST.”
“If you don’t think he will realize his sexism and misogyny and you have any record of violence, harassment, or bigotry you might want to let his school board know at the last resort” – AggravatingVehicle3
“NTA. Also since you were kicked out of your house I would say this is the perfect opportunity to contact your guidance counselor or someone else at the school about how awfully your older brother treats you. Go in with tears about how you’re bullied at home and then make sure they know this is all done by your brother that teaches gym at your school.”
“Might be petty but honestly you’d be saving the girls that have to deal with his attitude in gym. He shouldn’t be a teacher and you can bring it up without seeming vindictive because you got kicked out of the house so it’s your schools responsibility to do something. Good luck.” – quesoandtexas
A few took the opportunity to compliment the OP for turning out okay, despite his evident upbringing.
“I’m amazed you turned out to be a respectful human being having grown up with three misogynistic children. Well done, NTA at all” – oceanicganjasmugglin
“NTA. Good on you for standing up to him, too. That can’t be easy, especially when you’re still a kid. You should be proud of yourself for doing what’s right. Your parents are appallingly in the wrong about how they’re handling this, but that’s really not your mess of issues to tackle.” – unsaferaisin
“Kid, you’ve got a tough road ahead of you. Your family is toxic. They prioritize your weirdo brother’s feelings so much that they’d rather kick you out of the house during a global pandemic than see him face valid criticism.”
“Tensions are high all over the place, and your adult relatives aren’t taking responsibility or deescalating.”
“But there’s good news. You are already able to recognize that these behaviors aren’t healthy or justified. You’ve got a strong head on your shoulders. And your off-the-cuff improvised insult game is A-plus stuff.”
“Stay strong. Do what you need to over these next few years to be safe and healthy until you can put some physical distance between yourself and this situation.”
“If there is any justice in the world, ‘piss baby’ is about to become a commonly used synonym for ‘incel’. NTA” – LiterateJosh
Some came at the confrontation from a lighter side and joked that if he had used a more neutral word, he probably could have gotten away with it.
“NTA. ‘My parents have forbidden the term incel in our house’. That’s why you don’t do that because another word just takes it’s place. That’s hilarious.” – Aspiring_Bog_Hag
“NTA. Call him a wallet next time.” – ipretendicannotsee
It’s unclear what the teen will do next. But if he does return to the house, hopefully he will continue to take care of his own mental health, whatever that means in the context of this particular household.