Not everyone finds certain jokes as funny as others.
Especially when the jokes in question are about us.
True, sometimes we can't help but join in and laugh when a friend pokes fun at something about us.
But finding the humor in a joke made at our expense isn't always easy.
Redditor PurposeDisastrous486 enjoyed partaking in a somewhat unusual hobby.
A hobby the original poster (OP)'s mother and sister felt compelled to mock in a fairly public way.
Prompting the OP to stop partaking in this hobby.
After being told by her mother that she couldn't "take a joke", the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for not jumping on my trampoline?"
The OP explained why she became self-conscious while performing her favorite hobby:
"I (16 F[emale]) am a trampolinist and I enjoy jumping on the trampoline in my free time while listening to music."
"I like to dance around a bit while I do."
"But recently my sister (18 F) and mum (41F), have been filming me and posting it on Facebook."
"The captions often poke fun at me and people in the comments are also making fun of me, so I've stopped jumping on the trampoline recently because I don't like it, but my mum asked at dinner why I stopped and I answered honestly."
"I told her I no longer liked it because of her filming me and posting it online, she got upset with me telling me to 'lighten up and take a joke'."
"Which annoyed me, so I tried to explain that it makes me feel uncomfortable if some one is watching me just have fun."
"Then my sister pointed on people watch me when I participate in competitions, which I feel is different, I'm showing off my skills to judges, not hopping around while listening to music."
"Now I understand I may look weird when I'm listening to my music, but it makes me feel uncomfortable knowing my sister or mum is filming me, so am I wrong?"
"Am I just being too sensitive?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for stopping jumping on her trampoline after becoming tired of her mother and sister filming her.
Everyone agreed that the OP's mother and sister filming her was not only a blatant invasion of her privacy, but also bullying, with some even urging the OP to seriously consider filing criminal charges.
"NTA."
"'She got upset with me telling me to 'lighten up and take a joke'."
"'Parent up and stop bullying'."- StAlvis
"NTA."
"Start filming them while they are doing something just for them."
"Cooking or on a game, watching TV, or whatever."
"If they get annoyed, ask them what the actual difference is?"
"Drum home to them that private is private."- Organic-Mix-9422
"NTA."
"As a mother, if one of my kids said 'I stopped doing something that I enjoyed because you posted it online and it embarrassed me' I'd be entirely mortified and feel horrible'."
"The difference between competition and fun is that you're consenting to people watching you when you're competing."
"Someone recording you and posting it without permission is not giving consent."
"Especially if they're doing it with the intent to poke fun at you."- TrashPandaLJTAR
"NTA."
"Your mom and sister are having fun at YOUR expense."
"That's bullying."- MissyOzark
"NTA."
"What they're doing is both weird and mean."
"I'm sorry they've sullied something you found joy in."- Time_Oil_V
"NTA."
"You are completely right, they are a**holes who wont respect your feelings."
"And if you said stop then they should stop, it's not like they are the ones being more or less shamed on the internet for doing what makes them happy."- SignIntelligent360
"NTA."
"But you might need to find a time and discuss with your family."
"Because posting your private life online and going on competition are two different things."
"During competition, you need to tense up and be professional."
"On the other hand, in your private life, you just want to relax alone or with someone who is close to you."
"Tell them, filming you makes you uncomfortable and will make you stress out."
"Help them understand this point of view."- Personal-Temporary11
"NTA."
"They're literally bullying you for likes, this is more than the trampoline, you need to settle this and get them to stop."
"So that you can start enjoying your life, and your trampoline, again."
"Home is supposed to be a safe space, not another place for frat girls to bully you, and that's what your mom and sister are acting like."
"Cringe."- CommunistRingworld
"I agree with everyone else."
"Start recording them back and see how they like it."
"NTA and also show these responses so that they know heaps of people are against them and let it rot in their heads."- oesophagus_unite
"NTA."
"Competing and have fun when no one's looking is wayyyy different."
"Report through account and posts, your a minor and you gave no permission and people are bullying you."
"It's not poking fun if your not laughing or having fun."
"That's bullying."- CoCoaStitchesArt
"NTA."
"It's a joke only if everyone is laughing."
"It's bullying when the subject of the 'joke' is upset with everyone else laughing at them."
"Ask your mum or your sister if you secretly film them while they are 'off the clock' and was doing something you know they will be embarrassed if people saw, then post it to Facebook with a funny caption like 'OMG MY MUM/SISTER IS PICKING HER NOSE AND EATING IT!' and opening it to comments from strangers, how would they feel?"- aikigrl
"Definitely NTA."
"What your mom is doing can be turned creepy by the wrong people."
"She may not mean anything from it, but anything online can and will be used for creepy things."
"There used to be a show where part of it was women jumping on trampolines."
"Creepy then, even creepier now."
"Your mom's privacy settings may not prevent people you or she don't want seeing it from seeing it."
"Or sharing it throughout the Internet."- MsPennyP
"So they're illegally filming you and posting it online without your consent?"
"Hello, lawsuit/criminal charges."
"NTA."
"Blast Disney music."
"Disney will remove the video instantly from the internet."
"No one takes copyright laws more seriously than Disney."- CinnamonPumpkin13
"Share your moms post and talk about how pathetic and embarrassing it is to make fun of your own kid."
"NTA."- Ok_Bit_6169
"NTA."
"If they want to record you, let that be when you're competing."
"Otherwise you have the right to private enjoyment in your own home, especially if you feel like you're being made fun of just by doing something casually that you find joy in."- throwaway0w40
"Send them this thread where we point out they're being exploitative jerks and bullying you for a few likes online and see how much they like to be on the receiving end of it."
"NTA."- Special_Lemon1487
"TIL competitive trampolining is a thing."
"Also: NTA."- Denzelian
"Time to film them doing something they enjoy and post it to FB with captions that poke fun at them."
"NTA."- embopbopbopdoowop
"NTA."
"They should be smart enough to know the difference between performing in a competition and being recorded on their phones."
"It's not your responsibility to educate them. It's their responsibility to educate themselves."
"But, just in case you want a comeback, the difference is consent."
"That's it."
"Their behaviour is vile and I'm so sorry that it's robbing you of this joy."- HestiaWarren
"NTA."
"They're posting videos of you online WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION, and that's not ok."
"Can you talk to your dad about it?"- MelG146
"So instead of saying 'sorry, it was meant as a joke, and I didn't see how much it hurt you,.'"
"'I won't do it again so you can enjoy your passion' or anything like that. Your mother basically said, 'Do it again, I want to make more fun of you!'"
"Of course NTA."- Dimirosch
The OP later returned, to thank everyone who took the time to comment while also clarifying one thing she will definitely not do when dealing with her mother and sister:
"Thank you all for the kind words, and please stop saying I should sue my mother. I'm 16, and where I live, there is a one-way consent law for recording, so I have zero grounds to sue."
It's hard to say what is more confusing.
That the OP's mother and sister were surprised that the OP stopped trampolining after learning they were ridiculing her online. Or that they recorded her without her permission and then posted those videos online while making fun of her in the first place.
In this day and age, it sadly doesn't come as a surprise when a school bully does something like this.
But one should at the very least expect their own family to not do something like this.
Let alone a mother of two teenage girls.
New Mom Irate After Father-In-Law Ruins Her Birthday With 'Vulgar' Comment About Her Breasts
There's nothing quite like the feeling of going through all the work to prepare a fun celebration, just for someone to undo it with an unkind or gross comment.
That feeling just gets worse when it's your birthday, and that comment was made by someone who's supposed to care about you, sympathized the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Rude-Pepper-2389 had recently given birth and decided to have a special birthday celebration to reconnect with her loved ones after becoming a mom.
When her father-in-law stopped by unexpectedly and then made comments about her body, the Original Poster (OP) was left so uncomfortable that it ruined the whole celebration for her.
She asked the sub:
The OP wanted to have a special birthday celebration after her baby was born.
"I currently have a five-month-old and haven’t really been taking care of myself or dressing up since having the baby."
"It’s my (25 Female) birthday, and we were having friends over at our house for a private dinner to celebrate."
"My husband (24 Male) and I have been together since we were 18."
"I decided to put on this new silk shirt I got, which, admittedly, was low-cut, but I felt cute in it and felt comfortable around the friends we were having over."
Everything was fine until the OP's father-in-law (FIL) stopped by unexpectedly.
"My husband's dad decided to stop by on his way home from work."
"I will say, he was likely drunk. He works two hours away and proudly told my husband he's down to only four beers on his drive home each day... so, that's healthy."
"When he came in, I was on the couch with my baby propped up beside me, bottle feeding him. Keep in mind, I am not breastfeeding, so no, my breasts are not any larger right now."
"My husband's dad leaned down to look at the baby and then suddenly shouted, 'D**n, son, she could knock you out with those things in bed! Like cracking two coconuts together.'"
"This was fully and undoubtedly in reference to my breasts."
The OP was shocked by the comment and very uncomfortable.
"It made me deeply uncomfortable and embarrassed."
"I was so stunned, I couldn’t even process what he said to me, and our friends just stared at me, blinking."
"He’s a redneck, so he's said some pretty vulgar stuff over the years, but this just seems to take the cake, as it was the first time it was directed at me."
"When he stepped out, I told my husband he needed to speak to him, and that the comment wasn’t okay."
"I went to change clothes and decided to never ever wear that shirt again."
"When I brought it up to my husband, he said he didn't hear the comment at first, but then he laughed when I told him what he said. He's always laughed when he feels awkward and has always had a hard time standing up to his parents in any capacity."
"When he and my father-in-law spoke, my FIL just said, 'I shouldn’t have said that to her, I know how she can be,' which just feels even more like I’m just being dramatic."
"Since then, I think my husband just wants me to drop it and move on, truthfully."
The OP wasn't sure what to do after what happened.
"This genuinely ruined my entire night. Am I just too sensitive, or was this an inappropriate thing to say?"
"There's also been no apology since then. This happened on Thursday, and then my father-in-law came by again on Friday with flowers to wish me a happy Mother's Day before Mother's Day Sunday."
"I think that was his way of trying to just breeze past the awkwardness. He's never gotten me a gift the whole seven years I've known him, so the flowers were odd. But I still feel really uncomfortable."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that her father-in-law's comments were rude and just plain creepy.
"NOR at all. That was really rude of him. Anyone would be offended." - Bookbringer
"NOR. That’s firmly in the category of what should be an 'inside thought,' and we should learn what those are at a much younger age than this guy is."
"F**king h**l, this is an absolutely mental thing to say out loud, let alone to your daughter-in-law." - Electronic-Fennel828
"FIL is an AH. I love that you think his being a redneck excuses it, but d**n. Even rednecks should know better than to speak that way to their son's wife."
"What does your husband have to say? Does he understand how breath-takingly rude his father was, or is he Team 'That's Just How He Is'?"
"I'd go very low contact with the old perv. NOR, he put you in an uncomfortable position with his crude remark. Is he married? I'd tell the MIL. I'd tell the whole family. Yes, it's embarrassing, but he is the one who should be embarrassed. Don't accept his non-apology." - Top-Bit85
"Maybe I’m desensitized after having large breasts since I was 13 (I’m 28 now), but I let out a little snort based on how immature of a joke it was. I’d simply tell FIL, 'Yes, I know, my boobs are big,' and move on."
"That said, I would never make such a comment about another person's body. Just because I'm technically fine with it doesn't mean I assume anyone else is!"
"Not everyone is the same, and if OP felt uncomfortable, she’s NOR. Her body, her boundaries." - Both_Original2094
"I’m sorry. That’s upsetting. My father is like this with his father. Even if it’s very offensive comments, he’s uncomfortable and has problems confronting him. It sounds like your husband isn’t going to have a talk with him, which is hurtful."
"I would explain to your husband how uncomfortable the situation was for you and that it’s a serious matter, especially if it happens again. And if he still tries to brush it off, then I would tell him you no longer want your FIL coming to your home."
"It’s your life, too, and he’s not the one being hurt here, you are." - w_coastultraviolence
Others were specifically angry about the tactics the father-in-law used to try to get out of trouble.
"Seriously? Saying 'I know how she can be' is a classic way to blame the victim for having boundaries. It’s your birthday, not a Hooters convention. What a creep. If he can’t look at the baby without checking out your breast, he shouldn't be invited to the house." - Specific_Parsnip3264
"'I know how she can be' is so f**ked up. He's the one being a disgusting person. You need to shine up your husband's spine to properly call him out at the time next time, because there will be a next time." - dancepantz
"The bit that pisses me off the most is, 'I know how she can be,' which is his way of making it her problem that she doesn't like her FiL sexualising her in front of her friends." - Outside-Partait-8935
"The 'joke' comment is gross, but that follow-up comment is infuriating. NOR, OP. But this guy will be in your life for a while, so firmly & calmly shutting this stuff down is completely appropriate."
"I'd wear the d**n shirt again to the next family function and look him right in the eyes next time!" - RationalFish
"When we let things like this slide for others, it's not long before it ends up on our doorstep, and of course, nobody says anything because keeping the peace is the norm. It doesn't have to be getting into their face and yelling abuse back. Just a comment such as, 'Well, that's super tacky to say,' or asking them why they'd say that." - Kattnapped
"The OP said, 'He's said some pretty vulgar stuff over the years... but this is the first time it was directed to me.'"
"Normalise calling stuff out when they are talking about others, and they won't feel so comfortable saying it to you."
"It's a gross thing for him to say, but I guess him buying you flowers is his way of saying sorry."
"Sounds like you are in the situation of a lot of new mothers, where you suddenly realise this stuff matters because you want better influences for your child, and better support for yourself. NOR." - Jumpy-Jello-
Now, about that shirt...
"Please re-think your decision to never wear the cute shirt again, girl!! It's something that you liked very much because it made you feel good about yourself. Don't let some backwoods id**t ruin that for you."
"Wear that shirt till it's worn out and can't be worn anymore!! You should be able to feel good about yourself in whatever you like to wear."
"Your husband should have immediately checked his father, not waited until he was told to do so after his father left the room. In front of everyone there, your husband should have told his father not to ever speak about you or to you in that kind of manner, and if his father doesn't like it, he knows where the door is."
"Hubby should have called him out for his response as well. You did absolutely nothing wrong. You were not the problem; his dad was. This comes down to your husband needing to protect his wife, and he didn't do that." - Lynzo141982
"If he is a redneck, like you said, he won't outright apologize, but flowers are his way of saying sorry."
"I hope he won't say anything again, or else you can expect a nicely tended garden for at least a year."
"About your top, I hope you can wear it again. It takes a lot to feel cute, being a new mum."
"If not, get some fabric dye, dye the top a different color, and embroider a flower on it. This makes the top new, different, and every time you wear it, you can use the mantra ... I'm cute, I don't care what anyone says."
"You've got this!!" - No_Kangaroo_6637
Even if the father-in-law was joking and meant no harm, this is one of those situations where he needs to admit that his joke did not land well, he did cause harm, and he needs to apologize. Just because some people enjoy joking in that manner does not mean that everyone will be comfortable with it, and it's important to respect everyone's boundaries and zones of comfort.