Single parents are tasked with responding to any issue their child or children encounter. It’s a tough job, undoubtedly.
It’s not hard to imagine some situations may come along that make a parent feel in over their head.
One Redditor apparently felt that way recently and he talked about it in a post on the “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” subReddit.
The Original Poster (OP), known ThrowCallhelp7644 on the site, outlined the issue in question in the post’s title:
“AITA for asking my sister to help out my daughter with her first period?”
He led with some background.
“I don’t know if the title is phrased right but let me provide some background.”
“I (38-year-old male) lost my wife 2 years ago, we have a 13 year old daughter together that I solely take care of but my family still help here and there.”
“I’m pretty close with my sister and she told me to come to her if I needed help with anything, anything at all.”
Then came the key incident.
“Yesterday I came home and my daughter told me that she just got her period for the first time, now my daughter already had been educated by her mother about periods but she seemed freaked out and didn’t know how to handle it herself.”
“Things is I didn’t know how to handle this either, I felt helpless because it’s not just as easy as getting her pads and that’s it according to my wife…”
OP quickly devised what felt like a good a solution.
“So I thought about calling my sister and I did, I had her leave work early but didn’t tell her what was going on on the phone and waited til she arrive.”
“She was shocked upon finding out why I called for her help although I explained that since she’s a woman then she has better knowledge of the situation…”
“…but she called me ignorant and started talking about how awkward my daughter must’ve felt for me to act so weird about her period…”
That led to further disagreement.
“…I again explained my reasons and she still shamed me for putting this on her instead of handling it myself as the parent.”
“She said this is the first problem my daughter faces without her mom and I’m already failing her…”
“…which was harsh on me because I believe I’m doing my best here and I did not act weird about it, just felt helpless and needed her help.”
Eventually, OP got an earful.
“She spent few hours with me and my daughter and left after getting her everything she needed.”
“I tried calling my sister later on to talk about it and she kept saying I was an a**hole for calling for her help with this as if it was an emergency and probably made my daughter’s first ever experience feel shi**y.”
“I’m confused by her reaction and really think she overreacted just cause I had her leave work early. AITA?”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Most Redditors agreed with OP’s sister and dubbed him the a**hole.
For many, it came down to OP’s lack of transparency.
“I don’t think calling your sister was the issue, it was the fact that you made it into a ‘this is an emergency, leave work now’ situation which likely was embarrassing for your daughter.
“Not sure if your sister articulated that since she was not fully informed and likely felt panicked.”
“Also as an ADULT who dates people with periods, you should educate yourself on this subject. I think yta here” — AdministrativeFee153
“YTA. You made it sounds like an emergency, so she left work. It wasn’t an emergency. You knew your daughter was going to get a period at some point, right? So why weren’t you prepared with pads and all the necessary info.”
“It was your job to be reassuring, not put your daughter into crisis mode. It would have been fine to ask your sister to talk to your daughter about this a little later when she had a moment, but there was zero reason for her to rush over.” — panic_bread
“YTA for calling and acting like this was some big catastrophe that your sister needed to leave work for.”
“It’s one thing to ask your sister to check in with your daughter and make sure she knows she has a women to talk to etc, it quite another to behave as if this is some emergency situation that you are incapable of supporting her through because you don’t have a uterus.” — BaconEggAndCheeseSPK
Others wondered why he was so unprepared.
“I gotta go with YTA on this one. You knew you had a daughter who would be getting her menstrual cycle when she hit puberty, and you didn’t put a basic amount of research into it because…?”
“The internet is at your fingertips, as evidenced by the fact that you posted this on reddit. I’m 100% sure there are resources about periods designed for single fathers out there, but instead of looking you made your sister leave work (probably worried it was an emergency) to hold your hand through it.”
“I give you a smidge of a pass because we as a society need to do better about making sure folks of all genders are educated about reproductive health, but you’ve had plenty of time to figure it out.” — diegrauedame
“YTA and you should have been prepared for this moment. I did a google search for ‘single dad dealing with daughter period’ and came up with 100s of resources, articles, advice,, even an ‘ask reddit’ sub dealing with this very thing in under 30 seconds.”
“You also probably should google ‘single dad teenage daughter’ to prepare for upcoming teenage girl things.” — SimplySam4210
“Yta you had her leave work and didn’t tell her what was wrong. My heavens she probably thought your daughter was DYING. Educate yourself dude. Periods arent some mysterious thing that only women can learn about.” — No-Locksmith-8590
Here’s hoping this prompts OP to be ready for what other minor crises he may come across in the future.