In the classic tale, “The Boy Who Cried Wolf”, a mischievous young shepherd constantly tricks the villagers claiming a wolf has infiltrated his flock, and when a wolf actually does appear, everyone ignores his cries having been tricked one too many times.
We can all learn an important lesson from this story, as if we deceive or stretch the truth far too often, chances are we might eventually find ourselves calling on deaf ears.
Even when we truly need someone’s help.
The fiancée of Redditor Few_Suspect7961 had a habit of being persistent when it came to calling people.
A habit the original poster (OP)’s parents grew increasingly tired of.
As a result, when the OP’s fiancée tried calling her future in-laws in the midst of an actual emergency, the OP’s parents acted in anything but a fast manner.
When the OP invited their parents over for dinner shortly after this episode, their presence was less than appreciated by the OP.
Wanting everyone could just move on and forgive one another, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I the A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA inviting my parents to my house after they didn’t respond to my fiancee’s medical emergency?”
The OP explained why their fiancée did not want her future in-laws anywhere near their home:
“My fiancée Allie(31 F[emale]) is the type of person that calls people 2 or 3 times in a row when she wants to get ahold of them for anything.”
“The first time she did this to my parents we were driving to a concert and I asked her to call my folks from my phone.”
“She called, they didn’t pick up.”
“She started calling my mom again right away and I asked what she was doing.”
“My mom picked up right away worried.”
“Allie asked our question, I told mom false alarm, hung up.”
“She asked why my mom had been irritated and I explained to her in my family, we only call twice in a row if it’s an emergency.”
“Allie has never followed this and will always call them repeatedly for the most mundane stuff.”
“If one doesn’t answer she’ll sometimes call my other parent.”
“All that to say a couple of weeks ago she broke her leg while working around the house.”
“I was in a workshop for work that day and could only check my phone on breaks.”
“She called my parents since they live a couple streets over but neither answered their phones.”
“She wound up having to call an ambulance.”
“I got her message about 2 hours after she fell and went to the hospital.”
“She was pretty mad at my parents when I got there.”
“I let then know what happened and they also rushed to the hospital to apologize and check on her.”
“She didn’t want them coming in so they sat outside for a bit, got her flowers from the gift shop and eventually went home.”
“I took some time off work to take care of her and my parents have been offering help as they could.”
“Her sister drove in to help so I could go back to work.”
“Last night I decided to make a nicer dinner than usual and wanted to invite my parents.”
“I gave her a heads up I was inviting them and asked if she wanted me to rearrange some of the chairs and table so we can all eat together.”
“She got mad I wanted to invite them and is of the mind I shouldn’t be wanting to see/speak with them after they ignored her.”
“Her sister agrees with her and feels I’m putting my parents over my soon to be wife.”
“Up until this point I haven’t said anything to her about the situation but I did then and told her it was a massive f**k-up in communication on everyone’s part and time we all talk it out to put behind us.”
“Neither she nor her sister think she should stop being mad at them.”
“My parents were sitting outside for their quiet time when she called.”
“It’s not unusual for them to not answer calls/texts and wait to return them later when they do that.”
“I myself had to do the two calls routine, so they knew it was urgent.”
“Was I an a**hole to invite my parents over?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for inviting their parents over for dinner.
Almost everyone agreed that the OP’s parents did nothing wrong, with some pointing out that regardless of Allie’s habit of constantly making multiple calls, sometimes people just can’t answer the phone or respond to a message immediately, and Allie needed to realize this.
“NTA.”
“You explained the communication norms in your family after the first time she double-called.”
“She didn’t listen, and so your parents had no way of knowing it was an emergency instead of just another Tuesday.”
“Your description of a massive miscommunication sounds accurate, and talking it through would be the next right move.”
“Does she have an explanation for how they should have known, or is she assuming that when she wants to reach someone, they should drop everything and talk to her, whether or not it’s urgent?”
“Because the latter isn’t respecting other people’s time and priorities.”- MazikeenBronze
“NTA.”
“Allie made the usual number of calls that she does for any occasion and didn’t text to let them know this was actually an emergency.”
“OP certainly does not need to cut his parents off over this.”- InappropriateAccess
“NTA.”
“You told your fiancée how multiple calls are used in your family.”
“She chose to ignore that, effectively crying wolf until they just started treating her multiple calls as a normal phone call because that’s what her actions repeatedly told them to do.”
“You can’t keep treating normal contacts like emergencies if you want people to respond to emergencies urgently.”
“She created the mess herself because of her own insistence on being heard right away whenever she wanted.”
“If she’d had a little patience with your family, she never would have been in that pickle, but she lacked consideration.”
“Why didn’t she text that it was an emergency when they treated it as a normal call?”
“That would have let your parents know this was different, even if she refused to stop treating every time she wanted to talk to someone as an emergency.”- KaliTheBlaze
“NTA.”
“Has she never heard the story of ‘The Boy Who Cried Wolf’?”
“She intentionally chose a pattern of behavior that ensured they would not assume she was calling for emergency assistance.”
“Now she is angry that they behaved as they did because of her past behavior.”
“It is regrettable but it is her fault.”
“She needs to accept responsibility for her own choices.”- latents
“NTA, but maybe you need to consider that this is who she is, this isn’t a phase.”
“Maybe one day she’ll grow out of it, but clearly she’s more interested in trying to make herself a priority in people’s lives, and then victimizing herself when her behavior came back to bite her.”
“She’s 31.”
“Really observe her behavior for what it is, and that it could get worse.”
“Not to mention the possibility of her holding this one instance over all of your heads to get her way, and justify her bad behavior.”
“Now every time she spam calls, you all will jump to attention just in case – which is what she’s always wanted.”
“She doesn’t care that it’s annoying, she is demanding attention, and one time where she was denied, she actually did need, but her takeaway was ‘I was right, you deserve to be shamed for ignoring me’.”
“She thinks the world should revolve around her, and people’s times and attention should always be available to her when she snaps her fingers.”
“Again, watch for the behavior.”- OffKira
“NTA.”
“Dude, are you sure you want to marry this woman?”
“Calling multiple times is weird, but flipping out and wanting to cut out your parents is way out of line.”
“She has self-control issues, and is expecting you to follow her, which is controlling.”
“Given my experience with this sort of weird AF behavior from my ex, I’m suggesting you seriously reconsider this relationship.”
“Til Death Do Us Part is a long time!”- CW-Eight
“NTA.”
“Your wife is the AH.”
“She has been disrespectful of your parents’ time for years, refused to change when asked and then has the nerve to be pissed when the situation she created blew up in her face.”
“Now she is trying to alienate you from your family?”
“WTF?”
“She sounds like a drama queen who thinks the world should stop and respond to her, on her timetable, time for her to grow up.”- Laines_Ecossaises
Allie seems unable to learn that not everyone is able to answer the phone at any given moment.
And calling them back immediately over and over again is not going to change that.
If she’s this unwilling to forgive her in-laws before she and the OP have even gotten married, they could both be heading for some, unfortunately, rough waters.