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Woman Forbidden From Wearing A Nightgown While Staying At Sister And Brother-In-Law’s House

A woman in a nightgown stands against a window, sipping from a mug

My house, my rules.

That is a home tagline many people know well.

Usually it’s parents saying it to their kids.

But who knew adults tend to have to say it to other adults?

Case in point…

Redditor Username_alt354 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for telling my sister to stop leaving her room when she’s wearing her nightgown?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“My 26, female, sister moved in with me 29, female, and my husband 32, male, days ago after her divorce was finalized.”

“Then she lost her job and was no longer able to pay rent for her apartment.”

“We’re mostly in agreement about everything except, I’ve been kind of having an issue with what she wears, especially at nighttime when she unwinds and tends to relax a bit as she says.”

“I think that what she wears is inappropriate.”

“She usually wear silky nightwear (nightgowns mostly).”

“She says that’s just ‘her style’ and is what she’s been wearing for years.”

“Not just that, but she’d come out of her room dressing like that to grab water or use the bathroom.”

“While yes, it was just me who saw her dressed like that I honestly could not risk having an argument with my husband over it.”

“I suggested she buys some pjs but she said that she doesn’t ‘feel comfortable’ in them.”

“Last night, I saw her in the kitchen grabbing something from the fridge and was dressed in a purple, strapped, knee length nightgown.”

“I tried to speak to her about it but it didn’t go well.”

“We started arguing and I ended up telling her to stop leaving her room when she’s wearing stuff like that and she argued that there was nothing wrong with what she was wearing.”

“That it wasn’t like she was walking around naked or anything of the sort.”

“I told her it’s my home and she’s a guest and should just respect my request but she responded saying that just because she lives in my house does not mean that I have the right to control what she wears then stormed off to her room.”

“We haven’t talked since then and she is refusing to talk about it.”

“I wanna post a pic of the nightgown but don’t know how.”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

“Edit: here’s the dress. It’s not identical but close to what she was wearing, very close.”


“Look at it and give your judgement.”

“Let me know if the link is not working.”

“So AITA?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP WAS the A**hole.

“YTA. She’s wearing a knee-length night gown.”

“What next? She can’t show her shoulders?”

“A little bit of cleavage? Her ankles?”  ~ DogsReadingBooks

“Nah, not wearing shoes in the house is a matter of hygiene and not creating more housework for yourself.”

“OPs sister’s knee length nightgown isn’t tracking in dirt from outside or creating an environment that requires OP to clean more – it’s simply a matter of her not liking it.”

“It’s not reasonable to ask someone to alter their clothing just because you don’t like it.”

“I wouldn’t be able to ban anyone from wearing a denim maxi skirt in my home just because I think they’re ugly.”

“YTA, OP.” ~ cmelissa27

“She’s wearing a knee length nightgown to get a drink or go to the bathroom.”

“OP’s husband didn’t even see her in it so the argument isn’t even over something that’s happened.”

“It’s unhinged to expect people to buy clothes they wouldn’t feel comfortable in when there’s nothing wrong with what she’s actually wearing, which she’s mostly only wearing in her bedroom anyway.”

“If OP’s husband is a cheater or a pervert then that’s between OP and her husband and not the fault of the sister in any way.”  ~ infieldcookie

“OP is being overly controlling and has deep insecurities.”

“OP has issues that she needs to address.”

“But it’s also a d**k move to move in, presumably not pay rent or pay a minor amount (no job, couldn’t afford own place), presumably eat someone’s food and then button press your sibling who is paying for all of the above.”

“If sister knows OP has insecurity issues, that’s double AH move.”

“I’m sure sister will be shocked when/if she is told she’s going to have to find another place. Which would have been the more mature thing.”

“‘Oy, can you please wear less revealing clothing because it’s a bit awkward in a shared home.'”

“‘No. – Okey dokey, I respect your decision, you are an adult that can wear whatever you want, you do you.'”

“‘Please move out in 30 days. Our lifestyles as roommates aren’t compatible.'” ~ ExcitingTabletop

“It’s knee length… strappy means equivalent to a tank top/camisole which are often worn on their own on the top half of the body anyway.”

“It’s not revealing and OP needs to sort out her own issues instead of whining because her sister wants to be comfortable after having 3 of the scientifically most stressful life events happen in quick succession.”

“Yes OP is doing her sister a favor by letting her live there but it’s not like the woman is walking around in lingerie sets with everything on show.” ~ Corpsegoth

“Purple, strapped, and knee length?”

“What is wrong with that?! Are you a nun?”

“Is it sheer/see through?”

“Can you see her t*ts and her a**? No? YTA.” ~TheLovelyMadamToh

“YTA. What are you worried about?”

“Does your husband have a history of cheating?”  ~ Pepper-90210

“I have to agree with this, the only description we got is she wore a strapped shoulder knee length gown.”

“That’s akin to a spaghetti tank top and a skirt.”

“I was expecting her to say she wore a** showing baby doll dresses or something but seems more like she’s afraid of shoulders and silk material?”

“Bit weird. If she bought a silky half height silk robe would that also be too sexy to grab water?” ~ Commonpixels

“YTA. If you are insecure about your husband then say it.”

“If you are insecure your sister might seduce your husband then say it.”

“But to try and control what another woman is wearing is absurd.”

“You are projecting your fears.” ~ laylay1287

“YTA. She’s wearing a nightgown that’s knee length or longer to walk around the house and you admit your husband hasn’t seen or said anything about it.”

“How is that inappropriate?”

“Do you have a body image issue?”

“Does your husband have a wondering eye?”

“If so, you two would need to deal with that on your own.”

“I don’t see the issue.” ~ YouThinkImHilarious

“If it’s down to the knees and not showing off anything other than shoulders, then I fail to see why it’s a big deal.”

“If it was actual lingerie, then yes, I’d understand you getting upset, but it’s just a nightgown. YTA.”  ~ Dr4k3L0rd

“YTA. I don’t know if you’re aware but your husband can open his phone and look at as many naked women as he want.”

“if you’re worried about your husband seeing your sister in a night gown that literally covers up a lot of her body and is knee length.”

“I think your husband is the problem and not your sister.” ~zoealice_

Now there were a few Redditors who felt differently…

“NTA, while it can certainly be argued that you are being overly sensitive, that is subjective and hard to measure.”

“What is easy to measure and clear is that you’re doing her a favor by giving her somewhere to stay when she needs it.”

“And I do not think it is unreasonable that you ask her to respect this simple request for how to behave in your home.”

“Whether one thinks the request is a bit silly or not doesn’t change that it is a simple request, and you are doing her a good favor in turn.” ~ ipofex

“Yeah I’m not getting all these ‘YTA’ and jumping to the idea that her husbands got wandering eyes and she’s insecure.”

“People have different standards of modesty and considering she’s letting her sister live under her roof and eat her food for free I think op’s well within her right to tell the sister to wear something less revealing.” ~1x1W

“NTA. It really doesn’t matter the reason why you’re uncomfortable with it.”

“The fact is it’s your home and you don’t have to feel uncomfortable in your home because you were trying to be nice and help some one out while they’re getting on their feet.”

“If they don’t like your boundaries in your own home they should probably leave.”

“Your sister sounds entitled and ungrateful that you even let her stay there.”

“No good deed goes un punished.” ~ Quick-Store2989

“I absolutely cannot fathom all the YTA votes.”

“Of course you’re NTA!”

“It’s your house – you and your husband get to determine what you are comfortable with.”

“She can wear whatever she wants in the privacy of her own room, but she should respect your wishes in common areas – all she needs to do is throw on a robe.”

“If she can’t be a good guest, then perhaps she shouldn’t be a guest at all.”

“The nerve of some people!”  ~ jmccorky

Well OP, Reddit has a lot of thoughts here.

Hopefully you and your sister can come to an understanding.

And a peaceful living arrangement can commence.