Making jokes at the expense of others is always a risk that is better not taken.
As even if you do it behind their backs, there is no guarantee it won’t get back to this individual, likely hurting their feelings.
While making jokes about others in their presence might initially seem all in good fun, there is no telling what they will and will not find funny.
Sometimes leading to strained, or even terminated friendships.
Redditor Unlucky-Public412 recently hosted a gathering at her home where she shared some exciting news about a major decision in her life.
News that a male friend of the original poster (OP) was less than thrilled to hear.
Eventually making joke after joke about the OP’s decision, despite the OP’s multiple requests to stop.
Having finally had enough, the OP felt she had no other choice but to kick her friend not only out of her house but out of her life altogether.
Wondering if she had gone too far, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for cutting a friend off after he told me not to use a specific name for my baby?”
The OP explained why a friendship of hers came to a seeming end owing to her choice of baby name:
“I (25 F[emale]) am 6 months pregnant with a baby girl.”
“I am over the moon and super excited to become a mom.”
“I love the name Lisa and I have loved it since I was a little girl.”
“My husband also likes the name and it is the name we agreed on.”
“That is where the problem lies with my friend, Stephen (25 M[ale]).”
“Stephen loves the kpop group, BlackPink, specifically the group member Lisa.”
“The love is almost obsessive and unhealthy, but most Kpop fans are.”
“A few friends came over to my house last week and that is when I told them about naming my daughter Lisa.”
“Stephen laughed at me.”
“He thought I was naming my daughter after the kpop star and not because my husband and I just love the name.”
“He said some really mean things about my daughter, saying that she will never live up to ‘his Lisa’ and there is only one Lisa in his life.”
“He also says he would not be able to look at my daughter because all he would think about is ‘his Lisa’.”
“There were a lot of other kind of disturbing things he said about the Kpop Lisa and basically saying that my daughter will never look as good, be as talented, etc no matter how much she tried.”
“This is the part where I may be the ah.”
“This happened in my house, and at first I thought he was joking and laughed it off.”
“But he kept going so I got annoyed and kicked him out of my house.”
“He’s been incessantly blowing up my phone, anywhere from being angry at me for kicking him out, telling me I need to learn to take a joke, and apologizing.”
“I only messed him to say that he was not welcome at my house anymore and he is not going to meet my daughter.”
“My other friends think I am being too dramatic.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
The Reddit community generally agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for cutting ties with Stephen.
Nearly everyone agreed that Stephen’s jokes were not only not funny, but definitely cause for concern, even if some felt that it wouldn’t be wrong for the OP to at least hear his apology and try to mend their relationship.
“NTA.”
“That is really weird behaviour and not something you want your friend saying about your baby.”
“If you think he truly is sorry and actually understands why it was not right, then accept his apology and invite him back in.”
“Also, him saying that all he would be able to think about was ‘his Lisa’.”
“When looking at your daughter was very worrying.”
“Definitely NTA and not being too dramatic, seems to me that you are protecting your unborn baby.”-Ainzzyy
“Jokes are funny when everyone’s laughing and when the teller knows when to end it instead of beating a dead horse.”
“NTA.”- GothPenguin
“NTA.”
“Your friend Stephen crossed a line.”
“It’s one thing to be a fan of something, but it’s quite another to be so obsessed that you’d insult a friend’s unborn child over a name choice.”
“His comments were hurtful and disrespectful, especially considering they were made in your home.”- LaneyLure
“Lisa isn’t even her real name it is just a stage name, the Lisa from BlackPink that is.”
“NTA.”- Ancient-Awareness115
“NTA.”
“That’s really disturbing behavior.”
“Your mom sense kick in and you realized that is not someone who should be around your daughter.”
“Stand firm in your decision because it’s 100% the correct one.”
“To the friends giving you grief over it, tell them (as I’m sure you have) that the way he was projecting his feelings of ‘his Lisa’ onto your unborn baby made you uncomfortable.”
“This is a baby that has yet to be born, and he’s already comparing her looks to a pop star he’s never met.”
“I be they’d feel different if they were new to the friend group and had the name Lisa and he said all that stuff about him.”- Rich_Restaurant_3709
“Huge BTS fan here (like followed them since they first debuted in 2013, seen them in group and solo concerts many many many times, etc) and this is WEIRD.”
“I can guarantee you Lisa from BP would also find his behavior unacceptable.”
“I hope your Lisa grows up knowing that many incredible, world-changing women shared her name.”
“And I hope your friend never does meet her.”
“NTA.”- MochiPryncess
“NTA.”
“Except in your choice of ‘Friends’.”
“Stephen is weird af.”
“Like unhealthy level weird.”
“If your other friends support him and think your reaction was unreasonable then… well, I don’t know what to think.”- RandomAho
“Tell him if it was a joke, please would he explain which part of it is funny because you don’t get it.”
“NTA.”
“Only joke around here is Stephen.”- Creepy_Radio_3084
“NTA.”
“This guy is not your friend and sounds like a dangerous fruitloop.”
“Don’t allow him in your child’s life, he may harm her.”- AdLiving2291
“NTA.”
“I would also be questioning this friendship.”
“You are about to be a mum (congratulations!) and moving into a whole new stage of your life.”
“Stephen is stuck in the mentality of a horny 15 year old.”
“Sometimes our paths in life just diverge.”- Mellifluous-Squirrel
“That friend is a drama king.”
“You are NTA.”
“He sounds annoying to be around.”- OwnAssociation9043
“NTA.”
“Stephen is the toxic kpop fan that every normal kpop fan hates.”
“He’s the kind that even the idols dislike.”
“His obsession is toxic and creepy.”
“Good thing you cut him off.”
“If he’s this competitive against an unborn baby, then just imagine what he’d subject your poor girl to as she grows up.”
“I’d say this would also he a good time to weed out more toxic friends who will start to show themself depending how they defend the creep.”- Pandarise
“NTA.”
“This is cc why you shouldn’t tell anyone the ne until baby is here.”
“Block this guy and anyone who supports his disrespectful behavior.”
“Your Lisa doesn’t need him around.”- Clean_Factor9673
“NTA this is someone who needed to be cut off yesterday.”
“Such bizarre and unhinged behaviour I’d stay well away from.”- AMissKathyNewman
“WTH.”
“No you are not NTA.”
“Stephen needs to get a grip on reality.”
“’His Lisa?’”
“Whoa, reality check please!”
“His crass remarks and demeanor were way out of line, and I cannot believe your other friends are calling you out.”
“Keep giving him the cold shoulder, and if at some point he comes up with a truly sincere apology, then you can maybe let him back into your circle.”
“Your other friends should understand your point of view, and if they can’t accept it, then maybe you need to distance yourselves from them as well.”
“Your daughter does not need such pettiness surrounding her when she comes into this world.”
“Lisa is a beautiful name, and she will be treasured by those who truly appreciate you, your husband, and the family you have started to create.”
“Best wishes!”- Mobile-Donut-5497
The way Stephen was talking made it almost as if he’d never met or heard of another person named Lisa in his life.
And that’s not even mentioning his bizarre, obsessive fan behavior.
It’s up to the OP whether or not she chooses to accept his apology, but if she does ever see Stephen again, one imagines all future interactions with him will not feel the same as they once were.