There is little that can be more frustrating than settling a bill after going out to eat.
While some kind soul might be willing to make the evening their treat, more often than not, people need to find an economical way of dividing things.
Some people have the forethought to ask their server to give separate checks, and in the age of Venmo and Zelle, one person. might be willing to put it on their card and have everyone pay them back in the blink of an eye.
While other times, just for convenience sake, people are willing to just split it evenly amongst them.
Even if it results in some people paying far more than they actually spent.
Such was the case for Redditor No-Structure-8125, who didn’t think it was fair that she pay the same as everyone else despite eating and drinking far less when going out to dinner with her colleagues.
But after she found herself getting the cold shoulder at work, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for refusing to split a bill evenly?”
The OP explained why she felt compelled to contest the way her colleagues suggested splitting the bill on a recent night out, and the effect it had on their dynamic.
“So I (26 F[emale]) went out for dinner with the other ladies in my office.”
“Money is a bit tight at the moment so whilst everyone else ordered 3 courses and was drinking alcohol, I only ordered a main meal and was drinking water all evening.”
“Come time to pay the bill, the lady who’d organized the evening told the waitress we’d be splitting the bill 6 ways evenly.”
“This would’ve meant I’d have had to pay £60 when the total amount for what I’d consumed was £16.”
“When she sent the email about the night she never mentioned splitting the bill that way.”
“I quietly tried to explain I’d only budgeted for what I’d eaten and I assumed we’d all be paying for ourselves.”
“It would put me in a difficult position for the rest of the month if I paid out £60.”
“They decided to work out the bill separately and we all paid for what we’d consumed, but now the ladies in the office are ignoring me and planning another night out without me.”
“I couldn’t really afford to go out anyway, but I went because I’m quite new to this job and I didn’t want to be left out.”
“Did I do it wrong?”
“Should I have just paid the £60?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was unanimous in declaring the OP did exactly the right thing in refusing to split the bill evenly and was not the a**hole for doing so.
Everyone agreed that the OP should not have had to pay anything more than she owed and if the plan was to split the bill evenly they should have said so from the beginning, with several people wondering if the OP even really wanted to go out with these colleagues again after the way they behaved.
“NTA, they’re being rude.”
“Splitting the bill evenly is only ok if everyone agrees ahead of time.”
“Sure they don’t have to invite you again, but why would anyone want to hang out with a bunch of rude snobs who would hold money over someone like that?”- agentrossi176
“NTA.”
“I honestly hate this practice.”
“There is nothing wrong with just saying at the beginning of the meal hey can we get separate checks.”
“That way everyone pays for what they got.”
“Also, expecting you to pay an additional 44 so other people didn’t pay for their meal is so unreasonable.”
“They are just mad they didn’t find a scapegoat to fund their meal.”- Intelligent-Ad-4568
“NTA NTA NTA.”
“Why do people do this.”
“Splitting the bill equally is OK if everyone has broadly spent the same but if someone has had significantly less, or more, than others then it makes no sense.”
“Especially these days as restaurants are used to each person in a party paying their own part.”-AbstractUnicorn
“NTA No you shouldn’t have to 60 for only eating a meal that was only 16.”
“I wouldn’t even want to go back to one of those dinners if that is the case.”- Fibbs_and_Tales
“NTA.”
“Honestly, it surprises me that people feel guilty about not wanting to pay for other full-grown adults’ meals when they haven’t previously agreed upon it.”
“I’d be glad they’re not inviting me anymore, you don’t need friends who make you feel guilty about money anyway.”
“Also, what the hell?”
“A 16$ bill versus a 60$ one?!”
“I’d maybe understand if the difference was smaller, I’d still not pay though, but a 40+ difference?”
“Come on now.”
‘Let’s not act like they didn’t know what they were asking of OP.”- bvnnysl4y3r
“NTA.”
“This is why, unless it’s a date, I pay for myself. It’s the responsible thing to do, especially in the current economic climate, and I really don’t feel like subsidizing a bunch of randoms gluttony and drinking.”
“Work colleagues are randoms, they’re not ‘friends’, you’d never have met them outside of work or chosen them as confidants etc.”
“Let them go out without you, sounds like to me you’ve dodged a bullet, you’re stuck with them 8+ hours a day already, why socialize with them as well?”
“:D Willing to bet you’ve got other people you can socialize with who aren’t forced on you out of a need to have a career.”- Sacred_Apollyon
“NTA.”
“Splitting the bill evenly is only fair if everyone spends roughly the same amount.”
“Since you are new this is probably the first dinner you where invited to.”
“I thunk you will find that they normally just split the bill evenly.”- kat61850
“NTA.”
“Fair play that you were able to speak up.”
“I’ve always just paid for what I’ve had during work outings.”
“When out with friends we just split evenly.”- PinkPalettes
“NTA and to hell with them.”
“I don’t know where people get the idea that an even split when not everything is shared is okay.”-not_three_racoons
“NTA.”
“Large group like this they should have just asked for separate checks from the start.”
“That way everyone pays just for what they have and no one is left in a situation like you had where you ate a small amount but they wanted you to pay more.”
“The ladies should not be upset by your request, it was fair.”
“Unless everyone was sharing appetizers, family style meals or bottles of wine then an even split makes more sense in those cases.”
“If the rest of the table was sharing everything then you’d be the AH for not speaking up when they were ordering and telling the wait staff that you’d be paying separate for just your meal and not eating/drinking the shared items.”- Sweetsmyle
“NTA.”
“They’re rude with a capital RUDE.”- embopbopbopdoowop
“No you didn’t do wrong, however I guess they didn’t want to do it that way again.”
“NTA.”- JWJulie
“NTA.”
“If you’ve never been out with these people before, they should have informed you how they normally split the bill beforehand.”
“Not after.”- ladygreyowl13
“NTA.”
“If that’s the plan then everyone should be aware before they started.”- Urbanyeti0
“NTA.”
“If there was no upfront agreement about what you’d be paying then it’s not reasonable to split the bill like that unless everyone wants to.”
“I’ve had this happen before and it’s horrible to have to admit you’re short the cash even with close friends.”
“They shouldn’t be making you feel bad about it especially if you’re new to the job.”
“If them ignoring you spills over into the office and they start to leave you out of conversations at work which are relevant to how you do your job, it counts as workplace bullying and you should address it via your manager or HR.”
“But if the worst consequence is not having to spend your spare time with selfish people you don’t much like and who make no effort to include you, that doesn’t seem like a huge loss to me.”
“Pick up some hobbies/social groups outside of work that better reflect your budget, and leave them to it.”- redcore4
“NTA.”
“The lady who organized it, should have made it clear that the bill was to be split amongst attendants.”
“She made an assumption that you would all be okay with paying for other’s drinking even though not everyone drinks.”
“She is the a**hole.”
“Good that they are not inviting you to the next night out.”
“Enjoy that night without negative vibes and having to subsidize them.”- tortoiseshell11
One always wants to do what is easiest when it comes to splitting a bill.
But easy is seldom, if ever fair.
And no one should have to pay more than double what they actually paid just to movie things along.
Particularly if said individual is having financial struggles.
One can only hope the OP’s colleagues realize this next time they go out on a group outing, with or without the OP.