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Woman Lashes Out At Retired Parents For Refusing To Watch Her Two Kids Three Times A Week

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People with children understand how difficult it can be not just to raise their kids but to balance their home life with their work and all other responsibilities.

Some people unfortunately have a tendency of being ungrateful for the help that comes their way, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.

Redditor Forward_Friend_9639 wanted her parents to watch her two kids more often and was shocked when they told her no.

Stressed by her new schedule, the Original Poster (OP) was certain she was right to be angry.

She asked the sub:

“AITA for getting angry at my parents after they refused to look after my children?”

The OP had a weekly arrangement with her parents.

“I (25 [Female]) have two children, my son (4) and my daughter (2).”

“Raising two children at a young age has been really difficult, but I was able to graduate from college with a good degree and start a career that I am happy with.”

“Despite this, the struggle of trying to juggle the responsibility of looking after my kids and focusing on my career is stressful to say the very least.”

“My fiancé (26) also works full-time, which only compounds the issue.”

“Up until now, my parents have been watching my children on Saturday nights so my fiancé and I can have time to ourselves.”

“My parents are retired.”

The OP then tried to add to the plans.

“I was recently offered a promotion at work.”

“While I enjoy my new position, it involves me working more hours, which only makes my home life more difficult.”

“I told my parents that I’d really appreciate it if they could watch my kids on Tuesday and Thursday nights, as well, so as to alleviate my stress levels.”

“However, they refused, saying that they’re doing ‘more than enough’ by looking after my kids on a Saturday night.

The OP argued with her parents.

“We had an argument after this, where my parents threatened to stop watching my kids on Saturday night.”

“This annoyed me, and I responded by saying that if they’re going to put me in a compromising position, then they’re not going to come to my wedding.”

“We haven’t spoken since, and I’ve had to look after my kids on Saturday night, which has been stressful for both me and my fiancé.”

“I feel as though since they’re retired, there’s nothing wrong with asking them to pull their weight more and help me out with my kids.”

“Am I missing something?”

“AITA?”

Fellow Redditors weighed in:

  • NTA: Not the A**hole
  • YTA: You’re the A**hole
  • ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
  • NAH: No A**holes Here

Some could not believe the OP’s level of entitlement.

“GRANDPARENTS. ARE. NOT. ON. DEMAND. BABYSITTERS.”

“Do what the rest of the world does and get appropriate childcare.”

“If the new job is so great, that shouldn’t be a problem, unless you’re cheapskates.”

“Let your parents enjoy their retirement and stop forcing your responsibilities on to them because you feel entitled.”Illustrious-Bee-6067

“Jesus, I don’t know how I’m shocked at someone being so entitled. I have a 12-month-old and we’ve had ZERO help throughout the pandemic until we hired someone. YTA, OP.”BirdWise2851

“I was honestly thinking, ok, she’s a little spoiled UNTIL I got to the sentence, ‘I HAD to look after MY kids on Saturday night.'”

“And then I got even more upset when she said, ‘Since they’re retired, there’s nothing wrong with asking them to pull their weight more and help ME out with MY kids.'”

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?????”

“OP, YTA, and I am really hoping this is a troll post. YOU laid down and had YOUR children, NOT your parents. YOU decided that.”

“Be lucky they watch them EVERY. SINGLE, SATURDAY. Because let me tell you, I was lucky to have a babysitter once or twice a year (and when we did, it was one of our younger siblings that we PAID to do it).”

“You are an entitled piece of work.”

“Your parents are not responsible for watching YOUR children. They retired to relax and enjoy life, not raise their grandkids because, ‘oMg, My JoB iS sO sTrEsSfUl AnD I DoNt WaNt To WaTcH mY oWn KiDs”!!'”Mommyof2plusmore

Others said the OP needed to be a lot more grateful for her parents.

“My boyfriend’s mom watches our 3-month-old EVERY Saturday and Sunday, and I kiss the floor she walks through for it. Without her, I’d lose my income and I am eternally grateful for her help.”

“One weekend she wasn’t able to babysit because they had a [virus] scare and didn’t want to be near the kid until they were sure they were negative. I called my job, said I couldn’t go, sucked it up, and stayed with my child.”

“OP is not only entitled, but also threatening to remove them from the wedding? I am livid.”sabaqueen_

“I guarantee she isn’t even paying them either.”

“I would charge a premium to give my Saturday evening up each week so you can have time to yourself, regardless of my relationship with you.”Therapizemecaptain

“I’m a single mom of twins and my retired mother watches my kids every day and I am BEYOND grateful.”

“She does it simply because she loves spending time with them and I am 1000% aware of how lucky I am.”

“It’s essential to have gratitude in life.”sam-mulder

Some also thought the “pull their weight” comment was ridiculous. 

“‘Pull their weight.'”

“They’re already providing free childcare once a week. They have lives too. They don’t cease because they retired.”

“‘Am I missing something?'”

“Many things. A soul. The point. The list goes on but you get where I’m going.”

“YTA. Your parents aren’t babysitters. They don’t owe you anything. Grow up.”VespB

“She said, ‘Pull their weight’? What weight? Their weight was YOU (OP) and they’ve done their job.”

“You chose to have two children at a young age. You chose to work a stressful career.”

“Your parents have completed raising their child. It’s crazy when people expect their parents to continue raising children when they’ve already finished their job!”

“YTA, I wouldn’t come to your wedding or babysit your kids anymore.”SuperWomanUSA

“Either OP doesn’t actually understand what the phrase ‘pulling your weight’ means (and maybe thinks it just means ‘help out’?? I don’t know), or OP is confused about who made those babies and who signed up to raise them.”

“Sheesh.”Justanothergamerwife

The subReddit was absolutely infuriated by the OP’s view of her parents’ involvement in her children’s lives.

They could understand work being stressful and not getting to go out as often as they did before having children, but that was where the sympathy stopped.

Her pushiness against her parents, according to the sub, was anything but acceptable, let alone the values she might be teaching her children.

Written by McKenzie Lynn Tozan

McKenzie Lynn Tozan lives in North Chicago, where she works as a poet, freelance writer, and editor. She received her MFA in Creative Writing from Western Michigan University, and her BA in English from Indiana University South Bend. Her poems have appeared in Rogue Agent, Whale Road Review, the James Franco Review, Thank You for Swallowing, and elsewhere; and her essays and book reviews have appeared with Memoir Mixtapes, The Rumpus, BookPage, and Motherly, among others. When she's not reading and writing, she's in her garden or spending time with her family. For more, visit www.mckenzielynntozan.com.