Content Warning: Hair shaming
Whether organizations want to admit it or not, some are much more fixated on appearances than they should be.
That’s especially true when they have a political agenda or are blatantly racist in their demands, side-eyed the members of the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor fl3shd0ll was shocked when she was pulled into a school meeting, during which she was told to cut her braids off because they were too “distracting” and “untidy” for her school environment.
Because the school had not previously allowed other students to cover their braids up, the Original Poster (OP) wasn’t sure what to do about their demands.
She asked the sub:
“AITAH for refusing to get rid of my braids because of a stupid dress code?”
The OP was shocked when her school criticized the appearance of her braids.
“Recently, my school has added a stupid dress code that bans braids, saying they’re distracting and will suspend me until they’re ‘neater.'”
“This was definitely a targeted complaint. They allow French braids like those that are divided into three or two. Yet they don’t allow box braids because it’s apparently distracting or something.”
“I (17 Female) have worn braids my whole life, and they’re a big part of my culture.”
The OP tried to reach a compromise, but the school refused to discuss the issue.
“When I spoke to the principal and explained this, they told me I’d either need to change my hairstyle or face consequences.”
“They specifically wanted me to cut them. Other girls before me tried to cover them up with bandannas and similar accessories, and they were suspended.”
“I won’t be able to just let them out, either, because if they think my hair isn’t ‘neat’ in braids, respectfully, we’ll have much bigger problems if my hair is loose.”
The OP wasn’t sure what to do next or what to expect.
“I refused to get rid of my braids, and now they’re threatening suspension. This feels more than just about hair and I feel like this is a matter of respect.”
“Am I wrong for standing my ground on this?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some were furious on the OP’s behalf because of the blatant discrimination and racism.
“This has nothing to do with tidiness. It’s just racism. ‘Neater’ is their term for ‘whiter’ flat straight hair. Something not everyone has, even white people.”
“If this is recent, then it’s probably just another result of racists feeling like they can come out of the closet with that anti-DEI bulls**t Trump illegally enacted.”
“Any company or entity that survives on government contracts btw has to obey, or they’re financially screwed, just like all the government workers.” – RedIntentions
“NTA. You should be able to wear your hair however you like. I would protest, and get other students involved.”
“Have other men and women wear braids also. Get the media involved. I am native, and we have to keep them from cutting our boys’ hair!” – Historical_Leek_4314
“I’m sorry, but, on what planet are braids distracting?? If someone is distracted by braids, that is the person with the problem, not the person with the braids. This sounds like racial discrimination.” – Rich-Zombie-5314
“I’m Native American and went to public school; I got the same treatment (my hair was too long, my braids didn’t ‘fit’ with the image they wanted to convey in our performance group; I was in the school Choir).”
“We ended up going to our ‘Indian education’ department; they handled it with the school, and I was never spoken to again about my appearance.”
“If there are advocacy groups in your school district, contact them, they can help with the discriminatory situation.” – Foxy_loxy1704
“NTA. Usually, these policies are just racist bulls**t targeting hairstyles worn by black people. Talk to your parents here and get their support.” – jrm1102
“This is blatant discrimination. I bet that a single braid isn’t banned, since it’s frequently worn by white women. It’s also absurd to say that a very normal hairstyle is distracting.”
“Best of luck in getting this ban overturned. Would you be able to contact a media outlet for the creation of wider awareness?” – Salamanderonthefarm
“They did the same thing back in the early 90s to boys with long hair. They had worn long hair for years most were just past shoulders or they had ‘rat tails’ braided. Then they made the rule that couldn’t be past the collar of a shirt; any hair, couldn’t come down over the eyebrows in front and had to be clipped above the ears as well.”
“They tried saying it was a hygiene deal. Some of the boys’ hair was better kept than a lot of the girls. Who cares if boys have long hair, an Afro (some white folks have those, like Bob Ross), braids, locks, dreads, etc?”
“A lot of people have cultural rituals regarding their hair. As long as hair is clean that should be the only rule. Good luck!!” – Inner-Confidence99
Others agreed and urged the OP to unbraid her hair and go to school to make a statement.
“Undo your braids and go to school with a basketball-sized afro. See how they like that!” – ImmaB***hB***hBasket
“Malicious compliance. I did this when I was in high school.”
“I’m a guy, but I had long hair. Bandannas weren’t allowed as a hair covering (zero to do with colors, just a dumb rule). But some of the women teachers wore headbands to keep their hair back. Some wore a bandanna like that.”
“One day, I did, and at lunch, the principal and a group of teachers were standing next to me in the cafeteria, and he started in on how I was wearing my hair. One of the teachers standing two feet away was wearing the exact same thing.”
“I just pointed and didn’t even say a word. He said, ‘Oh, okay,’ and I walked away. Small victories.” – Konstant_kurange
“The OP will let her hair down, and then, of course, she will have to sit in the back row because her hair is blocking the view of people behind her. What a stupid rule. Fight this, OP.”
“The ONLY circumstance I could see braids being a distraction is if there were a ton of beads that made a lot of noise, but then ban any noisy accessories. I went to high school when armfuls of bangles were in style and they were so obnoxious to me even when I was the one wearing them.” – SlipperySloane
“I’ve never understood why hairstyles are the business of schools. BRAIDS ARE NOT DISTRACTING!”
“And if braids, all types of braids, aren’t banned across the board for everyone, then this is discrimination.”
“These policies are bulls**t. Public school is not about education anymore; it’s about controlling you, starting with your personal appearance, then mannerisms, and then how and what you think.”
“This isn’t freedom. Go to the press. They will suspend you. Have a plan.” – babziellia
“Organize! Send out flyers. Get as many students as you can to wear braids on Monday after a weekend. SPECIFICALLY, students who don’t share your ethnic background.”
“They can’t send everyone home… Secondly, if they send you home but let the white students with braids stay…. that’s a huge recognition and proof that policy is racist.”
“Call the news to be there Monday.”
“We did this in my high school because they sent a friend home because HE wore a dress. Within 24 hours the entire school, including teachers, were dressed as the opposite sex. They reversed the policy in under 72 hours and the school had born gender-bender day. We had it every year following that student’s birthday.”
“And so it’s been said… ‘Flyers’ tell you this was a time BEFORE social media… You do it your way… I’m f**king old.” – CatchMeIfYouCan09
“You and your parents should attend the next school board meeting to complain. It is a new arbitrary rule that specifically targets you. Bring friends from your family for support. Alert the local news media about this so they cover the school board meeting.” – inkslingerben
“This battle has been fought and lost in schools and workplaces for years. Depending on where you live, your state may have already passed the CROWN Act (Create a Respectful and Open World for Natural Hair), which protects against hair-based discrimination in schools and workplaces. As of 2024, 20 states have passed the CROWN Act.”
“The CROWN Act prohibits employers and schools from penalizing people because of hair texture or protective hairstyles.”
“If your state has NOT passed the CROWN Act, get in touch with the ACLU. They will eat this up! Your school is NOT going to want the press they’ll bring to this.” – elizzup
After receiving feedback, the OP shared a brief update.
“The dress code was removed due to the amount of complaints. Parents and teachers joined in, too.”
“We’re reporting this to the ACLU and receive a proper apology.”
“They have shut down the dress code. We are still waiting for a formal apology to be made, even considering taking this up to the ACLU for the harm it has caused me and other POC students.”
The subReddit was furious on the OP’s behalf and the position that the school put her in, and they urged her to take action against the school.
While it seemed progress was going to be made with the ACLU, and hopefully, other ridiculous demands wouldn’t be made of the OP and her peers, it was terrible that the pushback even had to happen.